Im here but im not the same person
im not the same person you once knew
its so hard to keep pretending i'm still that person
shes gone long ago
it took me only twenty-four months to realize how fake you truly were
it was a waist of my time to actually think you were my friend
behind the fake laugh and smiles it was nothing
you never actually knew me anyway

Good things rarely happen to me
and when they do happen they just end badly
they come crashing down and all i have left are burn marks and cuts to remind myself
of another life mistake to never repeat once again
deep down, way down at the end of the abyss
Is where the spark of hope always tries to light itself it never gets a flame but hope is always there
its the hope that makes me so bitter when things end so badly

It’s okay to not be okay
Don’t hold back the tears because you’re afraid to feel weak  
Don’t be afraid to scream because someone might hear you

When they ask what’s wrong?
And you reply with “nothing”
You say nothing because you’re afraid to say what is really wrong
They ask again “are you sure?”
And you say “Yeah I'm just tired [or insert other excuse]”

Most can’t see it
Most don’t know what you’re going through
Most don’t know that they are just adding to your pain
That they are doing nothing good but in return making things much worse

Life can be so hard
People can be so hard
Everything is so hard

Every day I paint on a fake smile
I dress up to hide my pain on the inside
I pretend to be so many things to hide my agony
I laugh when deep down I'm ready to break down and scream

Getting up every day is a challenge
That’s why so many just drown out their sorrows
Or bury it beneath the layer of smoke
By sprinkling on distractions to help you forget your pain

Falling and hitting rock bottom is the foundation to start over

I have lived to see the beginning and the end of all things
I was there when there was not even an idea
I have lived to see it all
My face may not be the same person after all this time

I may be ever so old but this face is so young
Ever so young and earning for new adventures
New adventures with new people
Things that will make the old ones seem like they were nothing

I have lived so long that this face has forgotten things that the old faces have done
Forgotten things that shall never be remembered
They are things that I shall never want to remember
Because they put my good name to shame

Things I have done to my people
Things I cannot go back and change
And save
My friends and family and the people I have forever hurt

That is the burden I must live with
All by myself because everyone is lost
Lost because of my actions
But i will never forget that in the end all of me saved them

Everyday is the same
I paint a smile on  face to hide my true pain
Maybe tomorrow I won't have to fake it anymore

It's been so long now that it's just become a habit
Day after day I feed myself lies in hope that they will come true
I say I'm fine but I'm not
I have not been for a long time

Darkness has over come me and I feel empty inside
What's there to be positive about?  
I can't even do good without something bad happening

I've stopped trying because what's the point
Nobody care about me
I'm all alone, everyone has left me to be

To be what?
I'm completely empty on the inside
Only a skeleton just barely making it through the day

My soul is gone I'm completely empty
My heart is all black, full of darkness and despair  
What more is there to life

Everyday is the same
I paint a smile on  face to hide my true pain
Maybe tomorrow I won't have to fake it anymore

When is tomorrow going  to come?
I can only say I'm fine so many times before
Before I break down and fall apart

Being alone with no one to care about me
About how I feel or what I do with my life
Because I don't matter to anyone anymore

They say it will get better
Don't get my hopes up because I know that's not true
I've gotten my hopes up too many times for them break down

Everyday is the same
I paint a smile on  face to hide my true pain
Maybe tomorrow I won't have to fake it anymore