She’s dying from life.
She doesn’t have cancer, she’s not sick, but she is suffering
And she’s dying from her own life.
She’s dying from the nazis taking her childhood away, she’s dying thinking about the first time her husband asked her to dance, and she’s dying because her husband left a note and she found his body.
She is dying because she did so much, and was so strong. She tried so hard and now she is tired. She is still strong, but she is oh so tired.
And she’s still being stubborn but she can’t leave bed. She can’t move, she can barely speak, I feel what she wants to say resting on the tip of my tongue.
She is dying.

I will conquer the cities in my mind you destroyed. I am rebuilding them and making them shine brighter than before. There are gates around them, and moats and jetting mountains.
Stay out.
I am strong. I don't need you. I don't need anyone.
Wild flowers grow tall in my gardens, with each stem come thousands of thorns. Don't you dare touch me,
For I have changed.
My tongue will spit words I feared to before. Ones that strike a soft spot within you and make you wonder what happened to me as my eyes dig through your exterior.
No longer will I cater to every need, fulfill every desire, and be left a broken mess on the ground. Never again will I love and trust so easily, leaving my heart out in the open for another and giving them all the power to completely destroy it.
I refuse.
I can smell a lie from thousands of miles away now.
Your betrayal has given me power, a fire burning within me.
I'm different. You don't know this girl.

If you were a desert I would be the village you wipe out in a black blizzard. Shattering the windows of my houses, blinding my inhabitants.
If you were an ocean you'd have a monsoon swirling within you. I would be the shoreline you destroy. My sandy beaches soaked in your carelessness. I am no longer a place people want to visit.
If you were lightning I would be the unlucky one struck. I would try to move and you would follow me, go for another blow. After awhile your strikes numb my body and I discover I would rather not have feelings.
If you were a weather report you would be disappointing. I was hoping for sunshine and got a hurricane.
They should name a storm after you.

I am empty as the parking lot is after a concert or a football game
There's merely trash on the ground, crushed beer cans, char from the barbecues. The good times are over and now it is just empty with memories of happiness littering the floor. The street lights are bright and if I stare around I can see my loneliness spreading out in every direction.
I am empty as the beach is at night. When families and couples have returned home, tucked away and safe. Warm. Whispering sweet nothings. They've forgotten about the beach for now. Yet I am still here with the cold water wrapping itself around my ankles. My feet sinking into the sand as I wish it would simply swallow me whole. I am still here, gazing up at the moon and stars, wondering why.
Lastly I am empty as my glass is at the bar. Here I am not so lonely. Maybe someone will tell me I'm pretty. For a little while maybe someone will make me forget.

A terrible thing is happening to me
You're breaking and entering, trespassing,
I try to stop you but I am powerless.
As you violate me I take my mind elsewhere.
Far off places, happy thoughts
"Just think happy thoughts"
As you hurt me.
I see myself as a little girl, playing Chinese checkers with my grandmother
She laughs at how I try to cheat
And makes me a grilled cheese with tomatoes, my favorite.
Her memory is gone now though. I hope this memory of you taking my innocence can be deleted from mine.
It hurts so much now and I tell you to stop but you just keep on going. And going. You don't care. Nobody does.
Maybe my grandfather is looking down on me, he'd **** you if he hadn't killed himself first.
I think about taking my own life when this is over.
I open my eyes and there is the highway next to us. I try to slip away into one of the cars, people going home, somewhere warm and safe, please take me with you.
I'm a little girl again in my backyard, playing on the swing set, my mother is cooking inside and nothing bad can ever happen to me. The world is good and I am happy.
I'm screaming and I start to cry.
I'm a tree falling in the woods. No one knows I'm there. No one hears me slamming into the cold ground. No one helps me up.
It's just you and me and you are the definition of evil.
An awful thing happened to me today.

I'm fine and then I'm a basket case
I am driving down a secluded road and then I am in the middle of a city, there are too many noises and people, I need to get out
I am crashing. I am toppling over a cliff going
Down
Down
Down
Down
Crash.
Windows broken, airbags deployed, engine on fire.
I am the wreckage.
Don't slow down the world to look at me because I don't want to be seen. I am too busy feeling the pain, feeling loss, feeling broken. My gears don't work right. You can't put me in drive anymore, my radio won't play sweet feel good top 40 songs.
Even my gas pedals won't budge, I am stuck and I am feeling everything
All at once.

Sitting out here in the dark, it's 4:47 am
I wonder where you are
My heart is beating
With you in it
You're going through my veins, pumping through my blood, you're filling me up and I don't know if I can handle these emotions
I feel like I'm breaking
I need to be kept together
Please hold me
Let me breathe you in
I'm clingy.
Heart pounding out of my chest
It's on the ground
Along with my cigarette ashes
And that's all I am now
An ember that's burning ever so slightly
Just stomp me out.