i refuse to let go of this sadness/ that wraps me up in the dead of the night/ because my calloused fingers have crushed too many shards of happiness/ only to exsanguinate poetry/ out of the blood cells/ that the doctors claim have enough haemoglobin/ despite the scars that stink on my wrists/ covered with the holy threads/ my mother asks me to wear/ so her gods protect me/ but they fail to shun the devil/ dangling on my left shoulder/ that loathes me/ yet continues to be the parasite/ that the host of my body thrives on/ because it has never known/ any other way of tenancy/ except in the house of insecurity/ that has decayed/ into blooming flowers of hatred for myself/ full of poison/ that is enough to weave a string of thoughts/ detrimental to a sense of peace/ i have never been a consumer of/ for i have only eaten from the leftovers of sanity/ that the artists before me could not afford/ and i am the flesh and bones of their temerarious ghosts/ roaming graveyards/ of miserable mortality/