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We lived for the next drink; the elixir to erase the memories of a thousand cruel dawns. It took work when we were broken and bedraggled. Creativity and thirst drove us through the day. "Do you have anything to pawn?" "Hey, why don't we stop by the old carnival guy's place, he's always good for a belt." "Big Brenda will you give you a 10 spot to go down on her, are you up for it?" The **** we did to stay liquid smooth. We redeemed cans for nickels, It took hundreds to get a bottle. In and out of dumpsters filled with the most vile trash imaginable. Me and those aluminum cowboys, knee-deep in the filth just to get a drink. Winter was bad, frostbitten hands and hearts, but summer was worse. Something about the way the sun cooked the trash had a hellish putrid effect on the soul. That smell was the seed of my sobriety.
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Aug 12, 2025
Aug 12, 2025 at 10:00 AM UTC
Anything for a Drink
Writing is my lighthouse when I'm lost at sea in the dark fog among the sirens singing their seductive songs. It is my net that catches fish to feed me when I'm starving and afraid. An albatross silently looms, while waves swell and break against my raft. The kraken yawns and waits, but the words and lines tow me safely to shore.
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Aug 8, 2025
Aug 8, 2025 at 4:31 PM UTC
Writing through Storms
The efficiency room days were the worst and the best. Broke and bent, sick and deranged. Disheveled dreams, like horses with broken legs. There was an occasional miracle. A forgotten five-dollar bill crumpled in the front pocket of some ***** jeans, lying by the fake plant and a copy of Hamsun's Hunger, long overdue from the library. The fiver would buy a pint of cheap ***** My nerves settled for a moment. Friends seem to drift away by the month. "Where's Johnny?" "He froze down at the Raccoon River." "Oh **** he was always good for a snort." "Have you seen Sue lately?" "The cirrhosis finally took her." "Son of a ***** I used to get drunk and tell her I loved her, while she gave me head." Poverty and death drank with us in those cheap rooms, Singing sad songs and songs of victory. Battles were won and lost and great debates waged in our addled minds. We took care of each other the best we knew how. Life was just a myth.
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Aug 6, 2025
Aug 6, 2025 at 12:42 PM UTC
Cheap Rooms and Love
Music isn't the same anymore. The purity and grit are gone. It's mechanical and cold. I remember the days of records and record players. The crack and pop, the sizzling booming bass that rumbled in my soul. I think of a song, let's say something by Zeppelin. I close my eyes and smell the **** see the blacklight poster on the brick basement walls. I lift up the needle and ramble on.
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Aug 3, 2025
Aug 3, 2025 at 6:44 PM UTC
Back when I was a Kid
A strange pattern for writing has come to me lately. The skeletons of poems form when I lie down for a nap. Sleep always calls, and bones want to dance and grow skin. Lilacs bloom, and I feel the inner thigh of eternity, soft and wet. I can't get any rest. I have to jot down the notes or they turn to ashes and blow away, or, they are buried deep in mud and slumber, impossible to dig up. I sleep with a notebook and pen, as I drift off, I whisper to the tortured bones, don't cry and try not to worry. I'll bring you to life.
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Jul 30, 2025
Jul 30, 2025 at 2:00 PM UTC
Skeletons don't Sleep
I cuddled up with a metaphor that was caught in the corner of my room. I dressed it in the silk of kings, and fed it from the fractured trees of innocence. Low-hanging fruit of despair gets us every time.
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Jul 27, 2025
Jul 27, 2025 at 1:49 PM UTC
******* with Metaphors
What happened to your heart? It used to be so strong. When did these **** nights get so ****** long You're my Lady of ashes, and I'm all burnt up. You threw me in the fire; And my soul has had enough. I've had enough... I've had enough, I've had enough Yeah.
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Jul 24, 2025
Jul 24, 2025 at 6:17 PM UTC
Lady of Ashes
One of the first times I went to jail, it was in Polk County for public intox. Drunk in public. I was homeless for years, where else was I supposed to get drunk? They took me to the station booked me, and gave me my phonecall. I called the bail bonds. They wanted collateral. I didn't have anything. To act tough, I said, **** you." and hung up. The cop asked if I felt suicidal. I didn't but in my drunken stupor, I said, "I wish I were dead, you ******* pig." My next steps were to a small room with a drain in the middle of the floor. They had me strip all my clothes off and gave me a paper gown. It was the worst ten hours in jail I ever spent. Then, I did wish I was dead. I was released the next morning. Kind of sober, and kind of glad to be alive. I changed into my clothes. I found two valiums in my back pocket. I took them quickly and thought I need to find a safer place to get drunk.
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Jul 20, 2025
Jul 20, 2025 at 7:13 PM UTC
It doesn't Make Sense
Nobody knows when love will roll in and waltz with your crippled soul. Nobody knows when the chickens will come home, or when the dog will have its day. I heard of a place where silence blossoms into flowers of wisdom, but when I ask for directions, nobody knows. I taste the sadness of the sky in every poisoned drop of rain. I was born to swallow it. To be consumed by the gray expanse. I ask for the antidote, the cure. Nobody Knows. What happened to the street signs, the picket fences, all the love and empty spaces? People play games, and only traces of humanity remain. How do I pull the cord on this parachute? Nobody Knows.
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Jul 16, 2025
Jul 16, 2025 at 10:39 AM UTC
Spiraling out of Control
Where did the literary giants write their masterpieces? Thoughts like this plague me when my mind stews. I heard that Hemingway stood to write. Did any of them write on the toilet? Straining to **** "Call me Ishmael" Could that have been the genesis for Moby **** I like to write in bed, sleep competes with the creative process, but I keep coffee on my nightstand. I prop myself with Hawkeye pillows, and arrange the vapes. Cigarettes are gone, but the nicotine addiction remains. No ***** to spill on the pages, and no woman to vie for my affection. Tonight, I make love to the page.
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Jul 13, 2025
Jul 13, 2025 at 4:55 PM UTC
The Quill of the Greats
There are days when the fat rain beats the tent like a snare drum. Sleep is impossible, a distant memory from youth. Beautiful flowers die, and green isn't quite green enough. It turns to olive brown, then black. People don't behave and we can't make them. I hope there is rest when it's all said and done.
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Jul 10, 2025
Jul 10, 2025 at 2:15 PM UTC
And the Story Goes
Of all the literary devices, my favorite one is living. There's no substitute. As poets, we pull back the curtain to our view of life. You can shape your craft as you go. Metaphors will come all over the page. Your imagery will become pencil-sharp and vivid. Be patient. If you don't have to write, it will be easier if you choose not to. There are more enjoyable activities: *** Eating a lobster at dawn Fishing Swimming Playing with your dog or cat ************ traveling. Even getting your teeth pulled can be less frustrating. But if you must write, you will. Try not to ***** when you are sick to your stomach. Paint a picture with words. Frame it with phrases. Shine a light into the vast darkness of mankind's soul. Be the light.
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Jul 8, 2025
Jul 8, 2025 at 7:46 AM UTC
Be the Light
Hope migrates to sunny island shores. There is no sorrow, roses always bloom, and the birds of paradise fly forever free. The salty ocean cleanses the rot from the skin and the heart.
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Jul 4, 2025
Jul 4, 2025 at 6:42 PM UTC
Over There
It didn't matter if it was August, and the air felt like an oven on broil, or if it was February, and the dumpsters were icecicles to the soul. We needed ***** and since we didn't have jobs, the cans, at 5 cents a piece were our aluminum tickets to sweet relief. The magic click. Enough cans meant a bottle of whiskey ***** gin, anything to dull the sharp, vivid pain of life. We sifted through cat **** catsup ***** diapers discarded ***** mags, and all the other garbage from the rich and the poor. One winter morning, I threw back a heavy metal lid, and there was a fat raccoon looking up at me. If Bacchus or Dionysus were smiling, we found a full bottle. It happened once in a while during summer when the college kids headed home. Miles of walking, freezing or burning up, We were the aluminum cowboys.
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Jul 2, 2025
Jul 2, 2025 at 12:34 PM UTC
We were the Aluminum Cowboys
We became friends later. On that day we were combatants. Two kids trying to prove their manhood. I circled left, shot a quick jab. I missed and Doug laughed. He hit me fast with a right. Laughed again. I circled right, this time my jab landed. There was a gush of blood from his nose. He wiped at it, and said, My ******* sister hits harder than that. I hit him again. I'll bet she doesn't hit harder than that, I said. You'd lose that bet, Doug said. Mr Jester came running out of his house. You boys quit fighting and shake hands right now...I want you to say something nice about each other. He motioned towards me. Well, Sir, Doug here has a tough sister. She hits harder than most boys, at least that's what I heard. Doug grinned. Oh, a regular Marciano, huh Doug? Oh yes, sir. She can be a real mean ***** when she wants to be. Mr Jester said, Hey, watch your language you little degenerate. Who do you think you are, John Dillinger? Doug muttered some sort of apology. Go on, the old man said, it's your turn. "Tommy boy here has a great curve ball. He got five strikeouts last week." "Hey, that's great son, you gonna be in the major leagues when you grow up?" Yes, Sir, I said. Someone was mowing their lawn, and the smell of fresh-cut grass filled the air. We were young, green, and tough. "How about you son, do you want to play in the big leagues too?"  Jester asked. Doug grinned. "No sir, baseball isn't my thing. When I get older, I'd like to ***** one of your daughters." Doug took off running. He ran track for the team. 100-yard dash if I remember right. I could hear Mr. Jester just barely over the lawn mower. Come here you rotten little son of a *****
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Jun 28, 2025
Jun 28, 2025 at 7:51 PM UTC
The Fight
We became friends later. On that day we were combatants. Two kids trying to prove their manhood. I circled left, shot a quick jab. I missed and Doug laughed. He hit me fast with a right. Laughed again. I circled right, this time my jab landed. There was a gush of blood from his nose. He wiped at it, and said, My ******* sister hits harder than that. I hit him again. I'll bet she doesn't hit harder than that, I said. You'd lose that bet, Doug said. Mr Jester came running out of his house. You boys quit fighting and shake hands right now...I want you to say something nice about each other. He motioned towards me. Well, Sir, Doug here has a tough sister. She hits harder than most boys, at least that's what I heard. Doug grinned. Oh, a regular Marciano, huh Doug? Oh yes, sir. She can be a real mean ***** when she wants to be. Mr Jester said, Hey, watch your language you little degenerate. Who do you think you are, John Dillinger? Doug muttered some sort of apology. Go on, the old man said, it's your turn. "Tommy boy here has a great curve ball. He got five strikeouts last week." "Hey, that's great son, you gonna be in the major leagues when you grow up?" Yes, Sir, I said. Someone was mowing their lawn, and the smell of fresh-cut grass filled the air. We were young, green, and tough. "How about you son, do you want to play in the big leagues too?"  Jester asked. Doug grinned. "No sir, baseball isn't my thing. When I get older, I'd like to ***** one of your daughters." Doug took off running. He ran track for the team. 100-yard dash if I remember right. I could hear Mr. Jester just barely over the lawn mower. Come here you rotten little son of a *****
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In every room I've lived in, all the dilapidated shacks over the years that I've stayed in, always had a brown spider that crawled the walls. It had a little suitcase. I thought to myself that it planned on leaving, moving to someplace better. It never did. It always just set up shop, and spun a web in the corner and caught flies, and occasionally a small moth. On drunken sad moon nights, I sang dirges to the trapped bugs. They smiled and laughed, even though they were dying.
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Jun 26, 2025
Jun 26, 2025 at 10:43 AM UTC
It Takes What it Takes
On my last drunken escapade, I was sitting in my girlfriend's living room. It was 3:28 am, I was ******* on a cheap bottle of ***** and It was ******* the soul right out of me. I knew things needed to change. She had just ****** me dry in the bedroom, and I was losing all my strength. I had the wisdom of a snail, inching along, waiting to be crushed. I wasn't drunk, just liquid smooth. Contemplating and configuring the degradation and the lack of windmills to chase. The mirror had become a horrible and pitiful place. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a large shadow zip across the wall. A second later, our cat, Patches, leapt into the air. I heard a terrible Squeak, tweet, squawk, I ran to her and began prying at her mouth. It was a small night bird. I took it from her and put it outside. It was still alive, and there was no blood on my hands. I said, Bad Patches. It freaked me out. I woke up my girlfriend and told her what happened. She said, are you sure it wasn't a dream? I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I drained the last of the ***** and walked to the hospital. When it's time, you just know.
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Jun 22, 2025
Jun 22, 2025 at 2:26 PM UTC
You Just Know
The words and lines aren't coming today. I lie down for a nap. I dreamt of metaphors and similes. I woke up. The years swim away like bass at spawning time.
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Jun 20, 2025
Jun 20, 2025 at 12:25 PM UTC
In Sleep
On our way into Santa Anita one day, an old man had tipped over in his wheelchair. There was a pool of blood beneath his smooth head. I was with my Dad. He was around the same age as the poor injured man. I was 12. Seeing that man, and watching the blank stares of the apathetic crowd gathering around the man, and the blood, and the fallen wheelchair, I knew that nobody would win, and the horses that ran were the luckiest of us all.
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Jun 17, 2025
Jun 17, 2025 at 9:53 AM UTC
A Sad Day at the Track
As nightmares subside at dawn, your eyes reflect the fear and the pain. They spill a desire to try. Please try. You can walk in the rain without an umbrella and let the clover and honeysuckle guide you to safety. Evict the chaos from your thoughts, and leave the incubus behind.
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Jun 14, 2025
Jun 14, 2025 at 8:16 PM UTC
Trudge Forward
On the backs of flies we wait for the next thing. Something is always coming. A birth or death, food or hunger hatred laughter love... Something is always coming around the corner. The Mad Hatter with mushroom tea. A strange color of blue that tastes like almonds. A ****** that sparkles in the night. Listless mornings of languid walks with the wife in the cool of the evening. A knife in the back, a shark attack, or maybe, just possibly, you write a poem about waiting for the next thing.
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Jun 12, 2025
Jun 12, 2025 at 10:02 AM UTC
What's Next?
Bowing to the ***** god, I lived like a pleasure seeking missile, propelled toward all things ME. Empty as a carcass. Hungry as a desert. I didn't see the strawberry moon of summer. It was me and the Ferryman, until the river ran dry. Eternal winter for the soul. And then A revolution in my being. A total shift in my values and perception. The Creator purchased my dilapidated heart. He moved in and lives there still. My home, on the outside might look like a shack to some, but inside it's a mansion with the most sublime bread you ever tasted. Fruit trees in every room.
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Jun 10, 2025
Jun 10, 2025 at 5:56 PM UTC
Fruit Trees in Every Room
We talk about the past like it's a movie we watched together. You liked the cinematography. I didn't care for the cruelty of the protagonist. We disagree on the theme, and every scene holds different aspects of symbolism for us. I'm not sure I want there to be a sequel, despite the good acting.
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Jun 8, 2025
Jun 8, 2025 at 11:00 AM UTC
Life, the Movie
You were worried about the storm, so you invited it in, wanting to control the damage through your kindness and friendship. But you can't. The storm doesn't have a conscience. It will never be a cute pet on your leash.
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Jun 4, 2025
Jun 4, 2025 at 9:19 AM UTC
Chaos isn't Cute
When my oldest brother, Todd, came back for my mom's funeral, he had this light about him. His face was a poem. Sure, he was the oldest, and he had a healthy-looking tan from the hot New Mexico sun, working outside with turquoise, silver, and bear claws to make jewelry for the tourists, but there was more than that. He was an artist, and all artists have a fractured ease about things, but he lit up. Something from the inside projected out. He comforted everyone else, we leaned on him. His eyes oozed serenity. A few calendars later, when I traveled back for his funeral, I saw the same look on a few of his friends' faces. His wife told me after the service that Todd had gotten sober years before.
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Jun 1, 2025
Jun 1, 2025 at 8:26 PM UTC
My Brother, Todd