#whyme
tired so so tired
tired of feeling I'm not enough
tired of feeling used
tired of the yelling
tired of the pain
tired of not looking like them
tired of people saying I'm too quiet
tired of the memories of him.
tired of being me
tired of faking
tired tired oh so tired
maybe soon I'll be able to breathe
maybe soon I can be me
Dec 27, 2025
Dec 27, 2025 at 12:32 AM UTC
My head pounds when their words turn sharp,
my heart pierced a thousand times,
each syllable sinking, twisting,
draining the light from my chest.
The world turns blank
only tears carve down my face.
My body aches,
but it’s my soul that screams without sound.
No hands reach for me,
no voice dares to soften the storm.
Only my sobs remain,
bouncing off empty walls.
Why me?
Why only me?
Why am I always the one marked wrong?
Even when I’m bleeding inside,
they name me the cause
as if my hurt is a crime.
The walls press closer,
the air grows heavier.
Each day repeats,
a chain I can’t break.
I fall silent
my voice has nowhere to land,
just tumbling into the pit
where all my hope went to die.
Aug 15, 2025
Aug 15, 2025 at 11:05 AM UTC
In the Eyes of God
She brought me here with love so wide,
To stand with her, to be my guide.
But first—these pews, this sacred place,
Where I must reckon, seek some grace.
RCIA on Thursday nights,
Learning saints and candle lights.
I followed faith I didn’t know,
Just to be hers, to let love grow.
One evening, quiet in his room,
I met the priest—no fire, no gloom.
Father Lybarger, calm and still,
He asked me gently, “What you will?”
I said, “There’s something I still bear—
A weight too deep for just a prayer.
I wore the flag, I did my part…
But I’ve killed a man. And it scars my heart.”
His silence wasn’t cold or long,
But measured, like a sacred song.
“You served,” he said. “You carried flame.
But war, my son, is not your shame.”
“It was duty,” I said. “Orders, battle—
But still I see his face, and more.
Can I stand before the Lord,
And vow a love I once ignored?”
He breathed, then nodded, soft and grave,
“God knows the burdens soldiers brave.
He sees the soul beneath the fight,
And walks with you through every night.
You didn’t choose to k ill in hate—
You served the world, you bore its weight.
Confess not guilt, but give your pain,
Let mercy wash you clean again.”
I left with tears that didn’t fall,
But sat behind my every wall.
And when she looked at me that night,
She saw me whole, and not the fight.
She asked me why I stayed behind,
What I had needed there to find.
I gave a smile, I made it small—
Said, “Just a talk, that’s all, that’s all.”
She searched my face, but didn’t press,
Just held my silence, nothing less.
She knew that something lived inside,
But let it wait—she let me hide.
For love like hers and grace like this,
Are forged through pain, not only bliss.
And when I say “I do” that day,
I’ll know what sacrifice can weigh.
I gave a life I can’t reclaim,
But God still whispers through my shame:
“You are not broken—just made new,
And worthy of the love in view.”
© 2025 Shawn Oen. All rights reserved.
Apr 24, 2025
Apr 24, 2025 at 1:46 PM UTC
I love you
And
My poetry
Loves you too
And
That's enough
Oct 26, 2020
Oct 26, 2020 at 10:23 PM UTC
I don’t know why, just like before
I don’t understand how she cut me off
I’d found a diamond in the rough
Just kept given my heart n soul and stuff
We both reached for our seatbelt and we both buckled up
We were roller coasting, with small hiccups and a bit of muck
This wasn’t an act from a performing monkey
Just thought wow and thanked god, I’m so lucky
This was performed by a guy who had a crush
Didn’t think about a wedding day, there was no rush
Just so happy and thrilled, for whom I had met
The way we looked at each other, you’d never guess
But suddenly, she told me, she ain’t into me no more
She wanted it to be like before, but got the itch to explore
So she’s out there somewhere, free roaming about
While I’ve decided to stay in my bedroom, just moping about
Next time I’ll keep that in mind, when dating a girl
Still be myself, but don’t get into her so deep, not like before.
Mar 10, 2020
Mar 10, 2020 at 6:54 AM UTC
What is it like
to play the last card
Playing with cards
from the shards of your heart
What's it like
to see in the dark
light a little spark
What's it like
to see in black and white
What's it like
to feel a rainbow inside
What's it like
to feel it all together
What's it like
to enjoy
but suffer
Ask me what it feels like
trust me I know
What it's like to laugh
when you have suicidal thoughts
What it's like
to have tears of joy
While the monsters in your head
play with your heart like a toy
And make you cry
and cry
Cry over and over
When pain is your drug
and you haven't been sober
You always tell yourself
it's gonna be over
But what is it
the joy or the torture
When will you hang
a rope to your collar
And the blood fro your wrists
keeps pouring
over and over
Or maybe one day
your heart won't be polar
and black and white
will burst into the sky
and a rainbow writes
It is finally
Over
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019 at 12:20 PM UTC
I said I love you, and you asked "Why me?"
There's no one thing I can say
You are all that I ever wanted
I find something new to love every day
It's not how you look or what you do
It's not your smile or your smell
All these and so much more
Because of you the reasons that I fell
There's no such thing as the perfect love
It's nothing we can see
You may not be the perfect person
But you're the perfect one for me
Nov 20, 2019
Nov 20, 2019 at 4:48 PM UTC
I've been venting to these Kings lately
about my problems
and they can't solve them
but still I talk
cause sometimes all we
need is somebody to listen to
what everybody else brushed off
& what I call Nonsense,
may be your Last Reason for Living
and if so,
**** just let me go hop off
**** me if I hated on you
I'm still learning where I'm
supposed to knock,lmao still totally lost
but its cool because I just
lost my heart but not my cause.
Jul 7, 2019
Jul 7, 2019 at 1:34 PM UTC
Sit down take a breath feeling all this weight
Intake all the mistakes, the breaks, the maintain
Process all the information, the stats, the science
Another breath
With sore shoulders knees weak all I can do is shake
With tears in my eyes I hope I won’t break
Everything I give or they take
I have to remember:
-forever can be a second
-our life is entirety but to the universe it’s nothing
-the sky is blue but the color of the ground is forever changing
May 17, 2019
May 17, 2019 at 11:22 PM UTC
They came expected,
But oh so unexpected,
Dusk stalking blue skies and sun,
A small patch; barely infected,
Just a few weeks and they’ll be gone,
Just a few weeks and they’ll be gone,
The naivety of my youth allowed me to forgive them,
But time has passed,
They have been feeding,
Infesting,
Like mould in a damp corner,
I ‘must be handling them wrong’,
A new product promised to do wonders,
To my ears an angel’s song,
Just a few weeks and they’ll be gone,
And yet a few turned to a family,
Beneath the diet, the exercise, the routines, the gallons of water, the research,
I could hear Lucifer laughing,
Like that one person at my school,
That was a year ago,
And yet they and Lucifer still laugh at me,
Through murky panes and pictures,
Just a few weeks and they’ll be gone,
Every day they disappear more,
I tell myself I’ve won,
Yet old pictures show me it’s an illusion,
Surely they’ll end for summer’s fun,
Just a few weeks and they’ll be gone,
I now greet my friend the mirror,
Between everything I do,
He tells me it’s getting clearer,
His story’s must be true,
Just a few weeks and they’ll be gone,
I am a fool to my own deceit,
For the naked eye of me the whole world,
Can see these demons,
These scarlet brandings,
And every glimpse I catch in my friend the mirror,
In the reflections of a stranger’s wondering eye,
The voice in my head says ‘why me’
That’s all that it’s come to,
There is no more light in this night that has consumed me,
So all that is left,
Is echoes,
‘Why me’
But they won’t be here for long,
Just a few weeks and they’ll be gone.
Apr 19, 2019
Apr 19, 2019 at 10:19 AM UTC
Crashing.
Burning.
Fast.
Too fast.
No stop.
No control.
Its a disaster
A huge mess
That I can't clean
Because I don't know how.
Its a snowball
Rolling down a hill
crashing into trees
along the way
But I get through.
Somehow
I get through.
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 6:16 PM UTC
I have loved you so,
though i am an icarus
flying to close, dear.
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 11:12 PM UTC
Sometimes
I sit
and I ask myself
selfish questions
important to me,
Me Alone.
They aren't all very deep.
But all of them,
Are about me.
Sometimes,
it is something
I wish I had
or that
I feel I need.
If my scope broadens
As it has in occasion
I think about another
Gone. Now.
These thoughts
are full circle
Back to me.
How I miss them
If they think of me?
if I ever will see them again?
Why they left me?
So selfish,
not to want
As I want.
When they are all
I seem to think about.
How lonely it is
for Me.
Why make Me feel
This way.
Nobody ever thinks,
About Me.
Me.
Me.
Me.
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 2:22 PM UTC
things may not go the way
you've planned for today
be thankful for the life anyway
feel blessed for each passing day
time may be dark or gray
but the sunshine is not far away....
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 10:16 AM UTC
Someday i'm going to break, i'll lose it
and then the whole world will be sorry..
I'm ready to shoot, hand me the pistol.
I hid myself so much,
my sanity was the only thing the seeker couldn't find.
I have all these things going through my Mind.
My best friend forever just left me behind.
When I fall asleep is when I feel at peace the most
Not sure if what we had can be fixed but,
It would be unfair to allow you to move forward.
As I'm stuck here in our memories,
With a shattered heart.
I want you to know I won't let you forget me.
EVER...
I'll place myself in every past memory of yours...
I'll interrupt every relationship you dare to hold...
it was your mistake to promise a forever
to a boy who would believe you
© Copyright Tyler Atherton
Oct 19, 2018
Oct 19, 2018 at 12:30 AM UTC
All I ever wanted was for you to bring my mood up and all you did was bring it down but I got back up.
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 4:30 PM UTC
Heart broken into pieces
All over my chest
Been feeling like this for two years
Trying to put the pieces back
Each piece represents each tear I shed for you
Trying to fix me
I wonder why I cant fix my broken heart
Sometimes I asks "God,why can't I heal from all the pain."
My love for you is lost
I try and try to get over you
But,I can't .
Your visual face is still in my vision.
Trying to take all the pain & hurt away.
You hurt me physically and emotionally.
I blame you for my broken heart
I blame you for treating me cold
I blame you for all my sadness.
I blame you for how I feel.
You made me lose love again
Hopefully, one day, I find it again.
Jun 5, 2018
Jun 5, 2018 at 3:43 PM UTC
I've often heard that karma
is a witch
but with a different start
you...
you with your blackened heart
won't see it coming,
but I tell you this
it surely will arrive...
along with a Judas kiss.
As you've stabbed others in the back
sharp tongue like a knife
karma will creep up on you
it will tangle up your life
It won't matter which face
you wear
karma knows your many
and
karma doesn't care
You'll wonder why
it happens
you'll coyly ask "why me?"
feigning innocence, ignorance
lacking remorse and empathy
you shouldn't fool
with karma, but
too late to think of that
it will strip you of your pride
you'll feel it deep inside
though
the exact reason for your pain
you may not recognize
karma can't be fooled
you'll be haunted by your lies
I likely won't be there to see it...
see justice come around
but in my heart I know...
I know you will be found
you'll get your just "reward"
as you hold the losing Karma Kard!
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 9:44 AM UTC
As lies fall from his lips
Making its way to the ears of the naïve
My heart rips
At every false word spoken
My emotions are written on my sleeve
As he sees
He makes more punches
Making me weak
Bringing me to my knees
Begging for mercy
For I can’t take no more
What is it he is trying to achieve
Why me
What happened that night was not a blur
I remember you trying to do things
For I am sure
I said no many times
You’re nothing but impure
Trying to force something on me
As I push your hands away
Asking why as you try more times
as though I would give you that key
Can’t you see
That my life is intertwined in your words
Determining how my day will be
Whether I am depressed or filled with glee
Your words are but a sword
Plunging deep into my soul
With anger as my voice as no worth
I start to just go along
For now I am cursed
m.f.p
Dec 11, 2017
Dec 11, 2017 at 12:17 AM UTC
I've only ever relied on someone else for my happiness.
Looked to them to answer any question i had.
Until the moment they were no longer there to guide me out of my perceived darkness.
But i was stuck.
I waited on you but you only walked away.
So thank you, because i believe I've figured it out.
How to be happy and not dependent on you.
You're the one that has gone and replaced the role i used to play in your life.
So i guess you can ultimately say that you have done this to yourself.
And I'm not really sorry.
Sorry.
I am focusing on me and you are now playing an insignificant minor role in the way my life develops.
Thank you.
I love you my best friend.
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 6, 2017 at 5:35 AM UTC
I just saw a bunch of pictures of people who I used to be friends with.
And I forgot how beautiful they all looked when they smiled.
It's been 9 months and counting.
And they still smile without me.
Oct 22, 2017
Oct 22, 2017 at 10:40 PM UTC
Seeing as we still have about 4-ish hours to go, I can only wonder what I can do in that time. 4 hours is enough time to watch a few good musicals. But I don't seem to have access to those at the moment.
So my best options are to write, sleep, or talk. But the latter doesn't seem all that successful at the moment. (The bachelor is definitely a distraction.)
So that's a bit nerve racking, but I'm managing.
Other than that, music therapy is seeming like a really good thing. And yet, I don't feel all that different going to Paris. I mean, things could have turned out differently for different reasons.
And that's just listing tons of possibilities taking everything into account. And sure, thing could've played out differently but this is what I've got. And honestly, I'm not complaining. I'm pretty okay with where I am and where I'm going.
I mean, I'm on my way to Paris. So why would I even think of being the one to complain?
This is gonna be a once in a lifetime thing. So taking everything into account, I should just enjoy it right?
I mean, that works for me.
To Paris!
In like 4 hours...
I can wait.
Apr 21, 2017
Apr 21, 2017 at 2:30 AM UTC
~April 6th, 2017~
I can only imagine what France is gonna be like. But the curiosity is definitely there. We leave one day, and fly into the next. And I would consider this some weird form of time travel.
Hours behind on some flights, hours ahead on the next. What a day, and it's not even over yet. But here I am, close to high haven once again. And nothing more to be done except wait.
But that's not exactly a bad thing. I can be patient for awhile. I can manage that.
At least for now.
So I'm not entirely sure when this flight crosses over into tomorrow. But I mean, is that really worth sleeping through?
Maybe, maybe not.
But I'll definitely attempt to pull off the world's worst "all nighter". It's worth a shot right? I mean, it's something to do.
So this flight may be the weirdest crossover between days. But that's okay with me. Only now, can I really understand the influence of time and flight and varying amounts of sleep.
Speaking of...
Apr 21, 2017
Apr 21, 2017 at 1:50 AM UTC
What can I say? I would love to be you. If you really do approach the world with love instead of hate, then maybe you could teach me to be less cynical about the world.
I don’t consider myself to be a hateful person. But It seems more difficult to be a loving person instead. In a way, you could just see it as confusion, but love is a complicated thing, it always has been.
I’ve never truly understood love in general, but I never expected to. So really, how do you manage to live life while still loving? Well, I admire that you can live life like that. Whereas I still have to learn.
So use this to your advantage, remind yourself of why you love, who you love , and why it’s all worth it. Because this is something only you can understand.
Because love is different for everybody. Love may be weird and confusing, but it’s something we need. And who am I to argue? I may not know much about love. But I can agree it’s worth it. I hope you’ve got love wherever you’re at. Maybe you can help me figure it all out. Thanks for finding my letter.
~Letter Writer
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 2:19 AM UTC