#whatifs
What if pretty isn't pretty?
What if strong isn’t strong?
What if dark is really light?
What if right is really wrong?
What if lonely isn't lonely?
Instead it’s just fear?
What if loud people are loud
Because they're scared that you won’t hear?
What if pretty isn’t pretty?
Isn’t beautiful or smart?
But just a way to classify you?
Deny that you’re a work of art?
What if lonely isn’t lonely?
But that’s just what people say
When they see someone alone
And assume they hate it that way?
What if pretty isn’t pretty?
Then what’ll I be?
Will they finally listen?
Will they finally see?
What if lonely isn’t lonely?
This isn’t alone.
So why does she break?
Why have the cracks grown?
What if pretty isn't pretty?
What if its meanings never end?
What if it's different from a stranger
Than from a lover or a friend?
What if lonely isn’t lonely?
Not the same for all?
I do know that me and most
Learn to build a wall.
What if pretty isn’t pretty?
Isn’t energetic or kind?
But just an empty compliment?
So they don’t have to speak their mind?
What if lonely isn’t lonely?
But it’s just what people know
To describe that horrid feeling
That makes you want to go?
What if pretty wasn't pretty?
What if strong wasn't strong?
What if dark was really light?
What if right was really wrong?
What if lonely wasn't lonely?
Instead it was just fear?
What if loud people were loud
Because they're scared that you won’t hear?
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 9:48 PM UTC
~
*Hear me, and heed my woe,
i tryeth to not bethink on Thee …
how thy smileth reaches
thy eyen and
crinkles the c'rn'rs
immensely.
Thy confidence, a flame
yond burneth with f'rvent might,
intimidating, yet draweth me in,
as moth to candle's lighteth.
Thy passion is contagious,
thy excitement a thrill,
i tryeth to not bethink on Thee …
but mem'ries ling'r still
i tryeth to not bethink on Thee …
as thee gazeth into mine own eyen
bef're our lips meeteth
our intimate moments,
a sensual rapture,
thy corse, a w'rk of art,
sculpt'd p'rfectly in all its
muscular stature
i tryeth to not bethink on Thee …
the way we w're,
young with a future,
we couldst not seeth.
What ifs and maybes,
a maze, i tryeth to escapeth,
longing f'r what couldst've been,
a heart yond acheth.
Ev'ry fare thee well,
a pang in mine own chest,
feareth of nev'r seeing thee again,
and all yond is repress'd
Thy absence, a weight
yond i doth striveth to shaketh,
wond'ring wh're thou art,
what thou dost maketh.
Art thou joyous, art thou free from careth?
i tryeth to not bethink on Thee …
yet some days, 'tis hard to beareth.
In sooth,
i am not depress'd,
n'r doth i feeleth the blues, wh'reupon
i f'rce myself to not bethink on Thee …
by mineth owneth shall, anon.*
~
Aug 30, 2025
Aug 30, 2025 at 9:29 AM UTC
My heart screams your name in cadence.
Amor, I drown in your absence.
You understand me in my silence--
For I do not have to elucidate my reticence.
Time heals, they said.
But time is cruel, I say.
For a soul that longs for you 'til the end.
For a fervent vow left unsaid.
When distance is beyond seas,
Beyond continents and skies, I fear;
Beyond what the eye sees.
What is left is your ghost in the abyss.
My love is yours,
But this life was not ours.
Time was in hours;
In a field of sunflowers,
I will see you in another life--
Amor, where there is forever.
Mar 24, 2025
Mar 24, 2025 at 1:47 PM UTC
Sa mundong puno ng libu-libong pagdududa,
Bukod tanging sayo lang sumugal at nagtiwala.
Ngunit bakit sarili’y tila akin nang nalimutan,
Mas inuuna ang sayo kaysa sa aking nararamdaman.
Labis ang mga tanong na “paano na tayo?”,
Hindi na maisip kung “paano na ako?”,
Tama ba na sumugal at ilaban ko pa?
O mas mabuti na lang mag-isa?
Jun 5, 2023
Jun 5, 2023 at 10:16 AM UTC
I'm leading my way in my own grief. Pretending to be nowhere but the truth is I'm fully wide-eyed. A lot of what ifs? What if I let go? What if I won't? What if I pretend that nothing happens? What if I stop chasing? What if i stop caring? What if we shouldn't met? And what if I shouldn't love you? Does the waves stop? Does the floods can go back to its rightful placed? or does the moon and sun can be together? I know it's impossible but I'm still trying to hold on with someone whom I couldn't have.
Jan 8, 2021
Jan 8, 2021 at 1:12 AM UTC
If tomorrow comes and brings a different light--
far from what you wanted, planned or dreamed of:
live your best today, intentionally, purposefully
and tomorrow, bring all that's good from today
If tomorrow never comes, as all is temporary:
live your best today, hold on to everything you love
embrace them all tightly, leave no space for doubt
you'll be leaving a beautiful, inspiring mark
If tomorrow does come & answers all your prayers:
still, live your best today, so you could prepare
to be that person who knows, appreciates, & cares
for that precious blessing that has been given
Live your best today
through all the ifs of tomorrow
Live your best today
because tomorrow is never promised
Live your best today
because this is all that's certain.
Sep 6, 2020
Sep 6, 2020 at 6:36 AM UTC
Don't clear the smoke
Let me be in the smog of what-ifs
In my la-la land
I shall live my best life
In the heat of the blunt
I will live in the moment
May 25, 2020
May 25, 2020 at 4:33 AM UTC
temptation is sweet
careful not to take too much
it'll come out as sh*t
Apr 30, 2020
Apr 30, 2020 at 7:40 AM UTC
swimming in pools shined upon by a hundred neon lights,
racing each other past labyrinths, really just stairs with never ending flights,
with the hum of playlists we created in the background and almost perfect sights
a spectrum arrayed over countless black and white nights
now our tracks rest over pedestrian lines,
waiting for the light to turn green
looking silly with the feathered, glittery wings strapped on our backs- this proven by the numerous stares people keep giving us
i could care less because you were in an urge to buy them from the costume shop; you said it was a necessity for tonight's "mission"
and it was all just so funny; you're funny
because the first night i whispered
“you up for an adventure?"
you just looked at me with so much hesitation,
as if i were a delinquent and you'd rather i leave you to yourself
but now we can almost be a platonic bonnie and clyde;
waiting for the light to go red holds such betrayal
because as long as it stays orange we can have more adventures
and we'll always get a glimpse of the first sign of sunrise
but once it turns green,i know you'd still go after her
that no matter how much thrill the night makes you feel,
how many graffitis we'd spray paint our own graffitis over,
how many new songs and mixed CD's we'd trade,
it's still her
somehow amidst the full moons and the waxing crescents
you're still stuck in the time watching the sunset and the raindrops gently come home to the earth with her
when you were enough to her
you're still stuck in what almost was and what could've been, what could still be; but will it ever be again?
you're still hers
you're stuck in the chasms she's unknowingly created
chained to her love that made you alive all this time
tied to her presence you long to feel again
and i want so badly to set you free but i can't
because you wouldn't mind drowning in a whirlpool if she told you to do so
four
three
two
one
light turns red, traffic halts
- please don't leave just yet
Apr 28, 2020
Apr 28, 2020 at 9:48 AM UTC
If only you could see what's on my heart,
You'd see thousands of crumpled papers,
Filled with broken poetries,
constructed by woeful verses.
Pages of untold stories,
with unfinished proses;
And an unexplainable pieces.
If only you could hear what's on my heart,
You'd hear the words I failed to scream,
The horrible weeps of my shattered dreams,
The sound of my soul aching and breaking,
The demons inside me who's mercilessly laughing,
The sobs I suppressed with a smile and an "I am fine." lie,
And the sound of my heart which cry, "I am fragile."
If only you could see what's on my heart,
The chaos, the sadness, the fears and the tears,
If only you could hear what's on my heart,
The screaming, the weeping and the crying,
If only you could,
I wouldn't have to write this poem.
Nov 11, 2019
Nov 11, 2019 at 9:47 AM UTC
What If I could rewind time?
And go back to the place where we first stood;
together
How I wish we could've live together
and make it last forever,
If only I could, I would, but I couldn't.
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 12:33 PM UTC
I wonder how it feels
To be in line with your sight
All the time, even just for a while
I wonder how it feels
To receive the smile you give
To someone dear, oh joy in your eye
I wonder how it feels
To have your hand, enlaced with mine
Safe and sound, even just for a while
I wonder how it feels
To love you freely boy, and not be told
You’re not worth my precious time
Apr 4, 2018
Apr 4, 2018 at 10:59 AM UTC
I sat by the window side at the bus
And ate some chocolate cake with gusto
Headaches from last night's partying
And suddenly I dozed off while eating
How strange...
Someone tapped me on the shoulder
I ****** and opened up my eyes
And saw you with your gentle smile
My face with smudges of chocolate
How embarrassing...
You asked if the seat beside me was vacant
I nodded unable to speak for shame and fear
Of opening my mouth full with chocolate cake
Too conscious how my teeth would look like
How pathetic...
Side by side, hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder
Instantly felt the warmth of your smooth skin
You glanced at me and smiled again very slowly
My cheeks were blushing of my indecent thoughts
How pitiful...
You asked softly if where my destination was
I answered politely afraid of looking directly
Too distracted by the musky scent you have in you
I wanted to ask what perfume you were wearing
How awkward...
The journey was tediously long and I had hangover
We sat there for five hours in companionable silence
But my insides were screaming with excitement
By your mere presence, I felt I was safe and sound
How weird...
"Excuse me sir, may I pass?" I nudged you respectfully
Your eyes widened a little bit and nodded in silence
I got off the bus and stared as it continued on the road
Regretted that I never even dared to ask for your name
How hopeless...
Aug 13, 2016
Aug 13, 2016 at 11:56 PM UTC
I know there's something wrong but I don't know what.
I know I have to change but I don't know how.
I know that I'd stop crying but I don't know when.
I know some people hate me but I don't know why.
Nobody loves me, that's what I'm starting to feel.
Nobody needs me, that's what they made me feel.
I am but a burden and that's what I'm feeling.
Torn between the thought of dying and trying.
I wish there is someone who'll listen to my rants.
I wish there is someone who will understand cries.
I wish there is someone who will tell me I am right.
I wish that someone would tell me: everything will be alright.
I wish to cheer people, when they have to deal with life.
I wish to be useful, to the ones who brought me here.
I wish to be someone, who would listen silently.
And not to be someone, who is selfish, nags and rude.
I wiped my tears, but they didn't stop falling.
I faced the floor and they just kept pouring.
I stopped hiding my tears, 'cause nobody noticed.
I cried 'till tears ran out and blood started falling.
I don't want to live dying, but I don't want to die living, like a corpse in daylight, walking.
Life is beautiful, life is cruel
Life is a gift, with endless burden
I should've been selfless, and learned to appreciate.
I should've understood them when I wished to be understood.
I should've been more careful, with the things that I have said.
I should've been a good kid, and listened to my parents.
If only I wasn't me, with a different family.
If only I had something I could do so perfectly.
If only my steps, had the right foot to start with.
Would I still be sitting here, waiting for my death?
Jul 24, 2016
Jul 24, 2016 at 11:25 AM UTC
You're the faintest memory,
But the strongest one.
Ended without a sorry,
Also ended with none.
You're the prologue,
That broke me so bad,
You're the epilogue,
Of the days we had.
You're a short chapter,
But the most memorable one.
What sorrow more sweeter?
When to you I never won.
May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 12:41 PM UTC
I'll never forget the feelings we made up
To keep each other alive, survive another night
Everything of us, all just myth
Medicine to heal but power to destroy
Greatest addiction to be released
Finally at peace
with these unsaid words
This would be our final goodbye
Everything of us, all just a myth
Bittersweet it was, to overcome
the closest thing to real love
I wish you the best as you continue
Prayers for your next love
To be blessed
Nothing like us, all just a myth
Ending with burned pages
But instead
Ending with laminated chapters
Mar 5, 2016
Mar 5, 2016 at 8:38 PM UTC
What is being honest?
When the ones you love are hurt?
You try to be transparent, but you're messy from all the dirt.
A Constant battle of head and heart.
Some things that cross the line.
You conjure up feelings you never knew existed
For Want of something that never will be mine?
The definition eludes me the more I try to
Deflect,
The emotions that surround me from the moment we met.
Ambition is one thing, as success is another,
Turning new leaves,
with nothing left to uncover.
To live freely without love or be loved with a whole heart.
The grass is never greener when we go back to the start.
Be honest to yourself, to your woman or your man.
If you don't be strong now
prepare to be a part of someone else's plan.
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 7:33 AM UTC
You were, you are, you always will be my chimerical vision.
For a while, I had always thought things should be tacenda, but then I realized how stupid of a thought that was. I mean you came into my life and became my dépayśe. I was completely taken out of my comfort zone and put in some place unknown; some place near you, yet so far away. I have this wish where you and I find the light together, but I think I always knew it was a velleity. You're so soigné, and I'm just homely. When I close my eyes, I picture that first mamilapinatapai and wonder why I couldn't have just spoken up. I've become a mad man over this serendipity which lasted a short time only to last forever. It was just a halcyon, those few moments we awed over, and I was just to sick with evasion to ever light a spark. Now, all I can do it drown in this chimerical vision alone.
(j.a.r.)
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 12:30 AM UTC
The day plays over in my head
The conversations I had
The ones I didnt
The people I saw
Those I ignored
What I did
And what I could have done
These are the midnight thoughts
That plague my restless mind
Robbing me of my sleep
And making me second guess everything
There is no peace in midnight thoughts
Only hope that tomorrow I will do better
So that when I face tomorrow's midnight thoughts
I will be plagued less than I was tonight
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 7:26 PM UTC
Wrapped in your scent
I think of then
I think what could have been
If i had felt something more
If loving people wasnt a chore
I wish i could do more
We
Could have done more
But oh
Love is a bore
No
Love is fire
We were rain
Love was never
Part of our game
Your name
It sends chills down my spine
And no
Not the good kind
We were wet
Sloppy
Gross
And you loved the most
I was new to this feeling of comfort
Comfort
Was it comfort?
Was it comfort that kept me up at night
Wondering if my head was alright
Wondering if i was holding you tight
Enough?
Because you never seemed ok
With my selfish
Distant ways
And i never knew what to say
To do
How to act
But today
Holding your essence
In the naked palm
Of my hand
I felt that slighy
Small
Maybe
We could have been something someday
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 6:28 PM UTC