#wellspring
The deeper the veins
of a silent rising
fountainhead reach,
awaking a muse
more chilling
than the truth
in the blood ―
a cold
stillness stirs
that lets me
feel an
unheeded sigh
cast in the wind
A breathe
of words
from a sudden
burst of silence,
tossed like a
handful of dust
lost in a rush
of wind ―
a beclouded
murmur fleeted;
holding your breath
as the aching
passion
manifest,
no longer
containable
I really wonder
if you even know
or care
who's behind
the dark
cracked glass ―
you learn to live
with what’s broken
to survive...
learning to look
in the eyes
of a dark horse
in a tight-lipped mirror,
to hear what’s
pushed back down
unswallowed
Staring down
the muted throat
of the voiceless;
feeling the anxiety
of held breath,
turning blue
afraid to exhale
If you look
at these words
and remember
there was nothing
left to lose,
then you'll see
the meaning ―
I don't need
to hear you
tell me to re-lock
all the doors
I wish I never opened;
knowing there are
still moments
when it leaks out
of my silence
Someday,
at first light,
a songbird
hearkens
the morning
dew's passage;
I’ll take heed
a song
of deliverance
and rise up
from
bended knees ...
but right now
I’m still learning
how to live alone
Jesse e Stillwater
May 2, 2018
May 2, 2018 at 2:05 PM UTC
There are certain feelings in my heart that I won’t try to explain
which if I were to tell you about them you’d probably complain.
The well-springs of our heart run deep and determine how we live
meaning: if we don’t allow them to flow naturally hold us captive.
_________________________
Sep 30, 2023
Sep 30, 2023 at 10:41 PM UTC
the moon had a fingernail-split underline and
there, in small heights, you could hear the sea
from anywhere. the lamps cast shadows from
objects that were, and are always, beautiful and
ugly. a lone soft life, calling, from out over grass
& then in, rippling through the curtains.
and, there in my bones, was the familiar ache:
the vastness of the ocean, its comprehensibility
appearing only in glimpses as each other fibre
untangled. little warm dissolution. comforting
tiny mutability of the world, and all its associated
weights. laid down in so many russet fields, was
each time-kept glance, gone-stale motion,
fervent belief, or undenied hope:
the breadth of humanity
lay, still.
the world was and is and will, for ever, be
the backlit glow of sunrise over a picture-book
we chose colours for, and reference, followed
by names and indices: here, the paint peeling,
the rain, settled on long grass outside of the kitchen,
the undiscoverable full fear and joy of living,
the cluttered expanse of patterns in the chaos.
the light we only see with half-open eyelids, as
the skyline burns from ahead or behind.
and i firmly insisted i was lying or
standing here, that my eyes were
closed or lying to their ordinance;
that there was nothing but more or
less to life, and that it was not my
decision, anymore, and sat cross-
legged in either sun or snow, and
it did not matter which, at all, for
i had no compass to find bearing, no string
to twist between fingerprints and tie
knots like milestones, just the lasting
impression of my own impossible and
shining inevitability. in the dust of river-
beds or the debris of sanctity, insects
broke down my flesh and the unbroken
rays of sunlight bleached my bones and
finally, all else burnt down& out, the
meaning of life precipitated from an
empty sky, running streams over the
cracked surface.
the soil set to loam,
and the dried roots engorged, so swollen
that gravel once again became sand, and
canopies burst from everything: in the
array, in my emptiness, there was still
nothing to know, and my ferned jaw
turned upwards to know, as part of all,
that i, too, was meaning, and i woke,
on a park-bench,
in the streams of the momentary dawn
that punctuate the endless night, as
a mother puts child, sweetly, to rest.
so, finally,
hook was cast into sea or
pick was cast into ground and
life, in its infinite meaninglessness,
struck another second-hand and
bundled its arms tight around,
in this season without relent.
and i, at once, knew:
for all the stars, stuck in that firmament,
or cloudlines, unalgebraically shuffling
against that paling blue, those i'd been lost in;
the uncountable nights and days spent toiling
in bliss and woe, for each unfurling front,
i was not forgetting a single iota, but
simply recollecting all i'd so long lost.
Aug 29, 2015
Aug 29, 2015 at 1:40 AM UTC
O’ Flowing Stream, smooth and calm,
How gentle are your waves
Oh, how refreshing is your taste;
Like crystal glass, your gaze
I came a long and weary way –
Walked through the deserts dry
And in the moment that my eye
Beheld your view I cried
---
I cried because my eyes then traced
Your course up to the Spring –
The Source beyond the mountain top,
Where blessings flow and bring
I saw a bright and lovely sight:
A plan in the Grand Scheme
Providence…it brought me here,
To drink – to sing – to dream
---
O’ Stream, now that I’m here with you,
I’m here with you to stay
I’ll make my home and plant a tree
Beside your waters way
I’ll watch it close and give it all
I can to help it grow
And trust the Source to ever-pour
That you may overflow
.
Nov 19, 2020
Nov 19, 2020 at 8:41 AM UTC
Honestly,
I feel like I'm drowning in a lake,
Battling with a constant headache.
Is it stress?
Tiredness?
Regret?
I assume that I'm not the only one,
who's head pounds like a drum,
At the simple thought of love.
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 8:52 PM UTC