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#wellington
Auntie Em is calling…. I was just getting to love my Emerald City The shiny feel of it, its sweetly diverse demi-monde. Its shimmering green beauty and tranquil sense of safety. The heels of my ruby red slippers were well & truly dug in. But no, the state fair balloon stands before me tied up & ready to go. A grand exclamation mark in my way if ever there was one. And Toto for once has gone mute, no chance of a last minute hold up. "Dorothy, Dorothy, where are you?" I guess it must have been too fantastical a dream to be true. A time for goodbyes. I’m embracing the Lion telling him to always be proud of himself & not to walk unafraid. The Tin Man’s gentle open heartedness I compliment him on as we both shed tears. The Scarecrow I kiss and thank for his loyalty & grace under fiery pressure. With a heavy heart, I climb that first tentative step on the block.   "We’re sick with worry over you" I could be angry but the wise words of the mystic ring loudly in my year. I do need to go back – My Auntie Em is really calling me. Calling me back to the grey flatlands of home. Back to the numbness of small town heteronormativity. Where Twisters rarely every came by to sweep you away and save you. I could only keep singing ‘Over The Rainbow’ in vain hope. "Find yourself a place where you won't get into any trouble! Unlike Dorothy Gale, this Dorothy left Kansas voluntarily The long yellow brick road finally took me under the rainbow and on to my Emerald City I no longer pined for home but knew all along that it would call me back one day. And so here I am, drifting higher & higher away from my adopted home. Perhaps I need to build a revolving door when I get there to pass through both worlds easily Or perhaps bring something of the rainbow back to illuminate the grey-lands. Or perhaps – in reality -  some reconciliation between these worlds is in order. Perhaps. It’s time to slip on the ruby red slippers and prepare the way for Kansas. Yes, this Dorothy has surrendered but I always had the power to be me, my dear. I just had to learn it for myself. August –September 2018
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Sep 16, 2018
Sep 16, 2018 at 10:46 PM UTC
Return To Kansas
Auntie Em is calling…. I was just getting to love my Emerald City The shiny feel of it, its sweetly diverse demi-monde. Its shimmering green beauty and tranquil sense of safety. The heels of my ruby red slippers were well & truly dug in. But no, the state fair balloon stands before me tied up & ready to go. A grand exclamation mark in my way if ever there was one. And Toto for once has gone mute, no chance of a last minute hold up. "Dorothy, Dorothy, where are you?" I guess it must have been too fantastical a dream to be true. A time for goodbyes. I’m embracing the Lion telling him to always be proud of himself & not to walk unafraid. The Tin Man’s gentle open heartedness I compliment him on as we both shed tears. The Scarecrow I kiss and thank for his loyalty & grace under fiery pressure. With a heavy heart, I climb that first tentative step on the block.   "We’re sick with worry over you" I could be angry but the wise words of the mystic ring loudly in my year. I do need to go back – My Auntie Em is really calling me. Calling me back to the grey flatlands of home. Back to the numbness of small town heteronormativity. Where Twisters rarely every came by to sweep you away and save you. I could only keep singing ‘Over The Rainbow’ in vain hope. "Find yourself a place where you won't get into any trouble! Unlike Dorothy Gale, this Dorothy left Kansas voluntarily The long yellow brick road finally took me under the rainbow and on to my Emerald City I no longer pined for home but knew all along that it would call me back one day. And so here I am, drifting higher & higher away from my adopted home. Perhaps I need to build a revolving door when I get there to pass through both worlds easily Or perhaps bring something of the rainbow back to illuminate the grey-lands. Or perhaps – in reality -  some reconciliation between these worlds is in order. Perhaps. It’s time to slip on the ruby red slippers and prepare the way for Kansas. Yes, this Dorothy has surrendered but I always had the power to be me, my dear. I just had to learn it for myself. August –September 2018
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36
It was the type of day Wellington is infamous for: rain slanting into the pursed and puckered faces of harried pedestrians and I, out and about with my secret that in the tall towers where the wheels grind slowly a thing not made of commerce a growing not spurred by market forces an investment not subject to whims and crises, but a spark ignited by two people laying themselves open to love and hope and dreams and schemes sometimes lost sight of, was fanning the flame, the head, heart, flesh, bone and wairua of a life taking root in my beloved's belly, a life long longed for a life whose existence sweeps before it all petty irritations and affixes itself on my face as a big stupid grin
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Feb 25, 2015
Feb 25, 2015 at 7:02 PM UTC
BIG STUPID GRIN
time interrupted thoughts into the present past losing direction
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May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 6:01 AM UTC
conflicted