#usn
We share a tale,
of vaulted views
and columned pews.
With dappled light
through glass bejewelled
comes solemn rays,
shining down
on kneeling few
and dusted air.
Though far between
our different times
the hallowed halls
our paths have shared
on shores we've seen,
though separately.
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 9:15 PM UTC
A sailor well knows while far away from home
To slowly lower the brim of his cover
Hold fast, and swallow his pride
For to display pointless emotion
While with faithful, intended devotion
*In the middle of the ******* ocean...*
Can only lengthen the great and terrible divide
He hides his chagrin, well versed
Sticks out his chin, lets out a curse
And simply lets the time pass by
The burdens back home he must face alone
Because he simply cannot be at her side
The borders of insanity with every last calamity
Only strengthen his stubborn resolve
For the smile on her face can't be replaced
So tirelessly without rest he does his best
For not to allow the world around her revolve
Every mile that tries to cheapen
Her now bent oblique belief weakening
Misleading, deceiving grievances on repeat
Hours spent askance with no chance for relief
Are all accounted for and held seperate
For soon he comes back to find her
Her sad eyes a gentle reminder
And that reward has him addicted and so desperate
Don't ask him why he has no alibi ready
Why he would rather die than break down
This life at sea is rough
And unsteady enough
Without her being around
So when he flashes you that grin
Do not think it disingenuous
There's no convoluted, contorted distortion
Or disproportionate sentiment carried within
Its only the aftermath from living this life of sin
This rocking boat will clutch your throat
And bring you down on your knees
For we understand love that's torn
And know to never get too warm
Because sailors aren't born, we are forged
Within the depths of harsh winds and roiling seas
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 8:50 PM UTC
The water is deep and you are gone.
again. I should be used to it. I miss you most when it rains. The petrichor drowns your scent/laugh/touch/voice- the waves of missing you crush me with their weight. Sometimes, i drown. More often, i swim. rarely, i float.
"Sea to shining sea", I you, we are lonely. Never alone, they say we say, but always alone. cold nights and endless mornings. Sometimes, on calmer days i look back .
To when you were here. When we were we. I love you. To the depth of your ocean. with the weight of your ship. To wherever you are and back again. but.
You are not here. You are gone and the dark water rises to cover my mouth so you can't hear my scream. a small mercy.
The sun rises in the morning- it makes me cry.
Our stars- the same where you are as i am in our white house on our porch with my flag- are gone. It's harder to imagine you here. the sun is too bright to lend me your warmth. And you are gone.
I eat lunch, see friends, miss you. Our house feels like my house. But a picture reminds me. It is shared by two. Sometimes.
sometimes i can close my eyes
and picture you here; sometimes i think of you and smile. Mostly, i wait for you. wonder about you. Rarely do i go a day without missing you, never do i go a second without thinking of you.
You come back to me like the waves. But you are not- The Same. I worry until you leave again. Then constantly, i worry still.
But this time when the rain falls, you drown. I don't. yet.
The waves proved too much and they knock "rap, rap,rap" on my tiny red door in the middle of the blackest night
they are sorry, they say.
so am I, I cry until i flood the earth, fills their oceans, drown my pain and their pathetic remorse, the flag they give me is soaked but it helps me stay afloat
This little white house is mine, not ours, and i can no longer swim.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 8:19 PM UTC
We are too happy. we were- must have been.
You are not here.You are far away and i lie alone. I wake alone.
Your letters, all i have of you- fill me with love/longing/fear. I worry for you and things you have seen. Places i won't go.
everything you don't/ can't tell me screams wordlessly in my brain. It's too loud for me to sleep. To quiet to stay awake.
i tell you only lies. pretty ones. "I love you (I do), i miss you, you'll be home soon" i want to say-
I am not okay. I miss you so much it is like the knives we got for a wedding gift, the ones you've barely used, are sticking cold and steely in my heart and i am dying, you won't be home soon you never are. But i wish you were- i love you- i write to you- i'll wait for you.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 7:45 PM UTC
I kiss you. Goodbye. I wait under you- watch until the plane
goes up. above my by miles, away from me my countries.
The gravel road of our driveway is cool and firm
the sand of the desert is hot and shifting and you are gone
You promise to be home soon- we both know you won't but pretend to believe this is a promise you can keep
you will not be home soon, if you come home at all
I miss you i wait for you i want you here
but you don't come, you can't
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 7:30 PM UTC