#unusannus
Two men started a YouTube channel
They called the channel Unus Annus
They were also the characters Unus and Annus
One year is all that they promised us
There was a clock counted down the days
The clock finally stopped and then we all did the same thing
What we all said was MEMENTO MORI
Aug 1, 2021
Aug 1, 2021 at 11:23 PM UTC
Life was only worth living
With SSRIs in the system
It was only a matter of time
Before I regressed without them
Back to the bottom
Another AllTimeLow
The headaches
The despair
The empty
If I can’t live without you
Do I even deserve to live with you
Jun 20, 2021
Jun 20, 2021 at 11:52 PM UTC
All I really wanted
Was to be wanted
But now I’m slowly realizing
I only ever wanted
To be wanted by you
Jun 16, 2021
Jun 16, 2021 at 12:39 AM UTC
Hours passed
Until we slipped away
From the plane of existence
And the pain of persistence
Into a world where everything just worked
All the pieces fit together
Beautiful harmonies our ears were deaf to
Beautiful colors our eyes were blind to
And the lights danced for us
They don’t do that for everyone
And they won’t do that forever
So let’s vibe while the vibes are good
Jun 14, 2021
Jun 14, 2021 at 12:31 AM UTC
Out of dust we are,
Which answers the question
Of why I love the rain,
Skin run along like sandpaper,
Scratching and mostly unpleasant
I have been made in the rough
And the rough I have become
But when the scent of rain comes
I can’t help but let myself
Become soft to its touch.
Run along to make the feeling
Of my skin more pleasant
But why does it stop so suddenly?
A month straight of rain
And no sun
Then all gone in an instant
Letting the skin I let get soft
Crack and bleed
From the lack of your touch.
Where did it go?
Who thought it was okay
To tell someone you loved them the day before,
So they woke up the next
Blocked.
Jun 10, 2021
Jun 10, 2021 at 8:47 PM UTC
Why would I trust
Why do I risk this again and again
When all I ever get for it in the end
Is a head full of questions
And both hands empty
Except for the warmth of her hands
That seemed to be there only moments ago
But no more holding your hands
Because you left
And I’m left holding
Holding questions
Again
Jun 9, 2021
Jun 9, 2021 at 11:00 PM UTC
Invisibility is a cliché wish,
But a night spent staring at the ceiling
Or the wall
With the feeling of existence
Washed to the minimum
By consumption,
Creates a similar feeling
Of invisibility to the senses.
I wish not for invisibility,
I wish to be your ghost
For exclusively your eyes
To witness me
As a shooting star
Scratches the sky
Leaving no trail
For those who missed it.
I hope I don’t miss
The trail of the gentle scratch
You leave in your last touch,
Letting this fleeting moment pass
Without recognition until lost.
If you spend forever in a single moment,
It’s not just a moment anymore,
For if you lose sight of me,
I'll erode away in the river
That you'll toss me in.
Emergence to accept defeat
That I let such a moment
Dissipate to become a lifetime
Of regret is the pressure point
In my mind regarding you.
Losing you now would be unforgivable,
Don’t let me go.
Jun 8, 2021
Jun 8, 2021 at 10:16 PM UTC
Sometimes the heart of a poet cracks
And before they can worry
About stopping the bleeding
They spill a little out on the page
The things my heart bleeds for
I would share them with you
And I have
The parts of life that make it worth living
I’d share them with you
And I have
But at the end of my rope
When the well has run dry
When staring at this doc a second longer
Could push me over the edge
I give in and write something uninspired
Or even a joke
And that’s what goes viral.
**** you for that.
Jun 7, 2021
Jun 7, 2021 at 11:10 PM UTC
It’s a taste on the tongue like peppermint
As invasive on the sinuses as mothballs,
It’s the precision of a samurai sword across a palm,
With the brutality of a gladius twisting against ribs
More infectious than the black death,
And no cure to stop.
GL HF my friend,
For we are all claimed by something,
And one by it every forty seconds.
It’s a pain in the mind, you see.
Jun 6, 2021
Jun 6, 2021 at 6:13 PM UTC
To those who have everything,
More will be given,
To those who have nothing,
More will be taken.
I just hope that living in between both extremes
Could lend me a lifetime of the seasoning
You pinch on my days
Providing hope in me through your delicacies.
Don’t worry about something
That you don’t know.
Don’t spend time wishing
When these moments are passing.
The love I give is an eternally full cup
With no bottom.
Pour yours into mine,
And let's see where these moments take us.
Jun 5, 2021
Jun 5, 2021 at 7:02 PM UTC
someone pressed a button
now all the lights are off but one
a red one blinking steadily
warning of the self destruction that's to come
the backup power moves my body
but even at full strength it was a losing battle
one last breath before my head goes under
and I'm swept away cause I don't want to paddle
Jun 4, 2021
Jun 4, 2021 at 11:22 PM UTC
Click a button
Watch the numbers climb
Even if it means nothing
The feeling is sublime
Jun 3, 2021
Jun 3, 2021 at 11:38 PM UTC
My own made rough
By years of discomfort within
Of skin that i wished to the sea
Instead of me wrapping
The passage of time
And evolution has proven
The bottleneck remains deep inside
Through simple confrontation.
Confidence lacking,
Revokes the foundation
Dismantling what was built,
And anxiety threads
Are plucked by fingertips
To tear away the rough
And replenish with red lubricant
Before the clot.
Will I become more confident
By tearing skin back
Ripping shreds to bone
Beyond tendon?
Lie to me
For this tumor
Is beyond any reason
For attempted understanding.
Jun 2, 2021
Jun 2, 2021 at 8:46 PM UTC
In two weeks, half the year will be gone
Half of our one year together
The time still ahead feels so long
But the time already past so short
Can they really be the same length?
The wax is halfway melted now
So remember the smell
And enjoy the sight of our dancing flame
Dancing carelessly
Because if our wick runs out regardless
I want to put on a show before all that’s left
Is the wafting smoke of a burned-out candle
Jun 1, 2021
Jun 1, 2021 at 10:46 PM UTC
A steady downpour will hide the tears that never shed
The winding road has many that cross it
My eyes part the streams like stones
Waiting to be eroded away
There’s more of a forest fire in a teardrop
Than the depths of my eyes have ever sparked.
Only gray skies and used lips left
For those few who ever venture here.
Overcast pale skin and used up lips
Tarnish further when hope lights its fire
Someone dig it from my chest to bring color to my skin
Until the forest fires fail to pass on as I do.
May 31, 2021
May 31, 2021 at 8:28 PM UTC
We were taken out back
Our blood painted the alleyways
History books called us the best of friends
So many beautiful love stories have been erased
So many of us died in hospital beds
While our immunity wasted away
And the government couldn’t care less
About the loss of a life if you were gay
And if you think that the fight ended in 2015
Then you’re deluding yourself, hate’s still alive today
But I won’t spend another day in the closet
So you can feel more comfortable
My existence isn’t a problem
Burning forever’s not the solution
I’m not sorry that pronouns
Are hard to wrap your brain around
I’m not lost or confused
I’m finally standing proud
I’m not sorry that there’s a month that’s not about you
I’m not sorry living my life the way I want to
Makes you feel so oppressed
Why are you so upset
Why are you so obsessed
With misgendering that man
Because he was born with *******
Why do you detest us
This has nothing to do with you
Just because my sexuality is different
Doesn’t mean yours has to change too
Just because I’m comfortable with he/they
Doesn’t make you going by he/him any less okay
What’s your ******* problem
Get off of my back
And stop pretending
When May is ending
That you’re under attack
I’m done repeating myself
It’s a strain on my mental health
To try to explain something
To someone
Who has no will to learn themself
This has nothing to do with you
So take a step aside
And let us enjoy being free
And encourage each other for future battles
I’m not asking
With or without your compliance
We will not hide
Because this is pride
May 30, 2021
May 30, 2021 at 7:46 PM UTC
A fleeting moment passes staring into the darkness
With an impulse procrastination
That has defined the past week
Or has it been a month?
So long that guilt presses against the wall
As the toss of another empty water bottle
Hits the floor.
Unbeknownst is the reality
That the room has become a physical embodiment
Of the headspace lived in.
Staring some nights
At the darkness
Because it’s easier than shining a light
And cleaning up this week’s mess.
Maybe you feel that you don’t deserve
To have a clean room
Because of a voice reminding you
Of all of them you couldn’t help.
How do you deserve a clean room,
When you can’t help anyone?
But you must know
That the glass can only build so much pressure
Before the shatter
And the glass can only pour so much
Before it runs out of itself.
You must know
That cleaning your room
Creates more space to fill with something else;
How can you help someone
If your glass is empty
And the pressure continues to pile on?
How can you change the world
If you can’t even clean your room?
May 29, 2021
May 29, 2021 at 6:42 PM UTC
A long time is becoming
Sooner than the grasp of its coming
Once, i could take the drive
Without specifying what time
Until a message would be sent
At only a moment’s notice
In warning of my arrival
Not asking permission
Simply stating i’d be there soon.
Once, the coffe shops defined our friendship
As we sat and spent those thoughts
That would otherwise swirl in rumination
Locked inside the mind only for another
Sleepless, endless night,
But we spent those thoughts on eachother
Digging a deeper hole of understanding;
There’s something about them
That I can’t help but miss.
Once, Drinking felt more healthy than it should have
When it wore down the wall so that all was left
Was the genuine heart breathing in our chest
So many moments
Oh, so many memories that defined us, inseparable
My brother of which i share no blood relation
But the bond formed won’t be shattered
By the miles away you ventured;
We’ve still miles to go.
May 28, 2021
May 28, 2021 at 8:30 PM UTC
Don’t these hours fly by
No wonder my body can’t keep up
When my mind can’t comprehend it
The days and weeks pass through
Space faster than light in a vacuum,
For the vacuum of life
Is much more efficient
In ******* out everything
Than we could possibly mimic.
May 26, 2021
May 26, 2021 at 7:59 PM UTC
One could might hypothesize
That the tears would have
Drained more than
The veins drawing out
Of the confines of the muscle
Pumping sweltering anger
On such a transportation
Of creating a new home
Out of one recognized for three years.
The stacks upon stacks
Of emotional drainage
After the physical had worn out
From problem after inconvenience
After incompetency.
A departure I wrote an outline for
Before I stood at the border
Of goodbyes,
I quickly threw out.
The itch and discomfort,
The aching and drainage
The constant questions in my mind
Throughout the entire time
Divorced me from the clouds
That I foresaw above us
Hugging goodbyes.
The storm was in the lies
That made me hurt
To see such discomfort in your eyes.
Here’s to the storm’s dispersion,
No good deed can split the coming tidal wave.
May 25, 2021
May 25, 2021 at 7:34 PM UTC
Numbness
Numbness
Numbness
Adrenaline floods my veins
My hands go numb
So I won't feel any pain
So I can keep swinging
Until I break your empty brain
Your existence by itself
On humanity has been a stain.
May 24, 2021
May 24, 2021 at 10:44 PM UTC
Skin and bones
You reach for my hand
But you can't stop shaking
Your ribs are showing now
And I'll kiss them gently
To flood your brain with those feelings
The chemicals that make you forget
About the hair you watched circle the drain
And the tears in your eyes when you looked in the mirror
To fill your heart with a lust for living again
Stay alive until our next kiss, darling
And the next.. and the next..
May 23, 2021
May 23, 2021 at 12:40 AM UTC
i didn’t look back
didn’t hold on tight enough to every moment
because for every great memory
i was so sure another was coming
maybe i trusted a little too much
or maybe i was taking you for granted
i’m not sure what more i could’ve done
but i should’ve
May 21, 2021
May 21, 2021 at 11:34 PM UTC
Lost in your head for part of the day
I'm friends with all your voices
And they all have nice things to say
But how'd you get so broken into this
5 people in one mind
But they all call themselves mine
And every day for just a few moments
Every voice comes into sync
And I hear every part of you
With all 5 voices
Tell me you love me
May 20, 2021
May 20, 2021 at 11:18 PM UTC
And we rest at the standstill
As life’s colors fade
Bring me an endless paralyze
Against the willow
Amixt the green grass
In the forest deep
With no thoughts more to venture
And no hopeless dreams.
Dissect the place I buried in my head
That I continuously dig up
To bury myself in its stead.
Relinquishing me
Blueprints for burdens
Awaiting construction.
The puzzle has been flipped
So that the pieces all look the same,
There’s no chance.
Bury me by the dock
Beside the willow,
The only friend I have left.
Amixt the green grass
In the forest,
That drains its colors
At the moment
Of my death.
May 19, 2021
May 19, 2021 at 7:35 PM UTC