#unsteady
The words still fill the pages when I don't know where to start,
There are droplets of your ink still flowing fiercely through my heart,
I tried to drain it out once but I didn't know the trick,
You still trickled through my system I was strung out and love sick.
I thought I would be prisoner to tears for my whole life,
But a laugh is to the rescue when I think of the best nights,
Before curiosity was piqued and mystery remained,
Checking all our satellites to see if we're in range.
If I can prove through cosmos this connection's meant to be,
Then I don't have to listen when I tell myself to leave,
But the moon is not my master she gives guidance through the stars,
And I never will quite get it staying deaf to my own heart.
Apr 25
Apr 25, 2026 at 2:11 AM UTC
Cumbersome, I am
Under some profound stress, and
I'm clueless at best
Jan 28, 2021
Jan 28, 2021 at 7:13 AM UTC
I take a jagged breath. Eyes closed. Facing the wall.
I squeeze tighter. "If you ignore it, it should go away".
My mattress shaking violently, like a earthquake is splitting the ground beneath me, threatening to drag me in.
Another jagged breath. It begins to rain. My pillow, now a desolate pool of ocean water, polluted by my thoughts.
I bury my nose deep between the eyes of sadness living in my bedroom.
"If you ignore it, it will surely go away". My mantra.
A hiccup from unsteady gasps.
The lights are not flickering, that's you shaking again.
I hope sometimes it would stop
So I try to ignore it
But deep down inside
I know if I didn't storm
I would never be exausted enough
for my brain to welcome sleep.
Aug 28, 2019
Aug 28, 2019 at 5:19 AM UTC
I feel like an unsolved rubiks cube;
higgledy-piggledy.
Indecisive and confused,
Chaotic and muddled,
Vague and hazy.
Tongue twisted is what I feel
When someone asks;
for I can not say
anything for sure .
I am lost in the galaxy,
wandering through the forests -
I don’t know what path to take
to reach the destination set for me.
Oblivious to what I want
or what to do,
everything feels
unsure and unsteady
“It’s just a phase” is all I say .
For one day I will know,
the floor will not be unsteady
and it will be clear.
For I hold on to the hope
that one day
the rubiks cube will be solved
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 1:27 PM UTC
I am unsteady
Unable to cope with these thoughts
With each new trouble I'm never ready
Unprepared for what life has thrown
Feeling as if I could choke
On these memories I own
I'm not worthy of what is good
But not deserving of the evils
If I could erase the past I would
And still I can't forget what I should
Apr 15, 2019
Apr 15, 2019 at 9:27 PM UTC
i should be in a war
i should be fighting
for my own freedom
the mind is not a joke
its difficult to control
i feel like crying
but whats the use
we are all in a journey
the destination
we all know about it
just do not take me yet
let me breath for a while
let me laugh like my friends
i deserve it, this is not the end yet
telling me about how life is useless
will not help
i need to be normal
the mind is not a joke
#RIP Avicii
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 9:06 AM UTC
Dear parents,
Am I
myself today?
I must know
Because some days
I can feel I am,
But today
I
need
You
to hold
me
close,
Because
I'm
feel
ing
slightly
Unsteady
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 4:39 PM UTC
Flickering on and off like a kerosene lit lamp,
I waver in the dark,
awaiting the verdict I've already given myself.
Sinner. Saint.
The pendulum swings back and forth,
toying with my frayed emotions,
Ripping away the little remaining sanity I have.
No matter the outcome,
I am destined to run from both sides of the coin
As I have found my solace nowhere and, yet, everywhere
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 9:52 PM UTC
the sound of silence
i tend to find
echoes louder
vaster
than the vile and stale taste
of unspoken words
hanging heavy
on a blood bitten tongue
Mar 3, 2018
Mar 3, 2018 at 10:27 PM UTC
The ground?
The ground is gone. Im floating past sunsets and sunrises
Im floating through hellos and goodbyes
Im floating below the heavens
And just above the singe of hell's fires
I'm floating with my debts
I'm floating with my pains
I'm floating with my future and my past
I'm there
Suspended
The air is thin
My breaths are small
But just enough
And I see it all
I feel it all
But numb to consequence
I've kept my drive
I'll hold my loves
But I float amidst the cares
They graze my skin and float away
The ground?
The ground is gone and I feel its gone forever
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 10:24 PM UTC
Hold my stem, lest I spill sherry
Pour unto me the flavor of you;
My cold feet go into spree
Is unsteady, yet free to go.
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 11:20 AM UTC
All I know is living in the fire,
Feeling the heat, scalding hot;
All I know is infinite hurt,
The tears that it brought.
I am learning life is fragile,
Lest you tie it down with the strongest rope,
The winds will buffet it at all times,
Rendering it impossible to cope.
I am learning moment by moment,
In a way that is mine alone.
I am strengthening each day,
Resembling the toughest stone.
Living in the fire has taught me,
Independence is life's most valuable jewel.
To ignore that vital truth,
I would be proving myself a fool.
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 4:49 PM UTC
I asked,
Begged,
Pleaded
For you to stop.
But the truth of the matter was
You were a train without brakes;
You couldn't be stopped
Until you ran out of tracks to guide you.
And even then,
You would go on,
Soaring recklessly until you,
Inevitably,
Crashed and burned
And lost all the wonder you once had.
And the day I realized this
Was the same day
I stopped asking,
Stopped begging,
Stopped pleading
For you to stop.
Because this was the day
I realized
That a broken, unsteady,
Out of control train like you
Stops for no one.
(a.m.)
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 11:36 PM UTC