#unrequired
You didn't come today.
Somewhere inside of me,
that burned.
But don't worry
Tonight I'll **** that
part of myself.
That way tomorrow,
I can see you,
and I'll smile.
May 23, 2025
May 23, 2025 at 2:05 PM UTC
It's broken, scattered in pieces, in shreds.
What was immoveable, now is crumbled.
It morphed from spool into puny threads
And got so futile and so unrequired.
All is gone, both faith, and repentance.
And what is now, no meaning, no goal.
No one needs excuses or blaming.
Neither of those who needed are gone.
All is trampled down, mixed up.
All is stupidly wasted in whole.
And only one mediocre Zero
Is stayed with no shame at all.
Feb 15, 2025
Feb 15, 2025 at 4:07 PM UTC
How do I love you?
I obsessively read
Pisces love horoscopes
though I am a Capricorn
How do I love you?
I vividly imagine
our colorful future together
though I know it's unlikely
How do I love you?
I unhesitatingly take
your jabs at my best efforts to please you
though I know you're projecting
How do I love you?
I ask myself, constantly, repeatedly
why my love for you isn't enough
though I do know the answer
How do I love you?
I incessantly interrogate myself
a beggar for love, begging away
though there's a treasure trove inside of me
How do I love you?
as I look longingly at my reflection
at the woman who is still learning to love herself
though her soft, open heart has be restrung like a treasured violin
Dec 10, 2020
Dec 10, 2020 at 12:20 PM UTC
He's like a sea I can't seem to navigate in
It's wind ever changing cours
Apr 27, 2020
Apr 27, 2020 at 12:19 PM UTC
I was never looking into you
I was only pouring an image of myself onto your canvas
Of course I didn’t know
it was me looking into me
this was the mirage of my desire
always in the shape of a question mark
and you
a sweeping mystery
oozing something toeing the peculiar line between *** and titanium (cold, edgy, sharp - trembling
between pain and principle
like blazer and tie
or more like halfway-unbuttoned-shirt-and-slacks on-with-no-tie
(it was like you were making an effort!))
It was ***
but it also wasn’t ***
(I am empty
I am full)
I keep building up and up and up
all these images in my Mind
(which never shuts up)
(a never-ending narrative
She spins and spins and succumbs
only in those rare and passing circumstances)
constructing people like buildings
only the scaffolding is imaginary and when
the architecture folds in on itself
soulless
and my beloved figurines come toppling down on me
why do I still get so surprised
so stung
so lonely in that
hollow and distant way
(like your Mind is echoing
in on
Itself)?
My Mind is like quicksand
devouring streams of memory with ease
forever unsatisfied and craving more of the same
sharp edges and all
praying for a satiation in some distant future
She knows will never come
Only here
in this tiny universe
can I spell out anything resembling rationality
from the mess and junk and tangled tendrils of my Mind
Only here
can I extract bits and pieces of thoughts
and try to puzzle them together
until they make sense
until I can separate “Me” from “Reality"
And what doesn’t make sense
what I need to understand
is why I feel so beset
with this heavy magnetism that
overpowers me to the point of
paralysis
(with little to no room for breathing)
and why it was you
who pushed me into this feeling
and you
who is still pulling me along
far past the threshold of my resistance
and I am done
and it stings
Sep 13, 2018
Sep 13, 2018 at 12:51 PM UTC
This could be my worst mistake
Risk I might not willing to take
Because it could cost you someone dear
Now being selfish becomes my biggest fear
Will these guilty emotions cease?
Is it possible for us to find peace?
As long as you are happy I'm happy too
If the time comes it's all up to you
I keep hoping this will work itself out
I can't shake this sense of doubt
Feeling that something is going wrong
Was it destined to end this way all along?
If you both can find a way
To turn around odds today
I would be sad, I cannot lie
But also happy you decided to retry
If two hearts are doomed to break
And one of them isn't mine to take
I beg you to convince me otherwise
Lead me into your arms with open eyes
Sweetly whisper on my neck today
"Everything will be okay"
If I have you holding my hand
World can learn to understand
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 7, 2018 at 1:24 AM UTC
In my dreams I see you
You love and hold me tight
Whisper sweet nothings into my ear
And tell me everything is alright
You listen to my woes
Yet with you I feel no stress
As within your warm embrace
I am finally allowed to rest
Your sweet lips on mine
As we share a gentle kiss
A hickey or maybe more
Ah, this is pure bliss
We run through different scenarios
Your confession, Our love and tears
And together no matter what
You are still willing to hold me dear
Everything is perfect
I laugh and smile so bright
Being with you brings me delight
So I hold on so tight
But when reality comes knocking
And I wake up from my dream
I look to see I'm all alone
And the tears flood like a stream
In this world you dont love me
I'm nothing more then a friend
No hugs and kisses adore me
Those are only for your girlfriend
My unrequited love
Oh, how it hurts me so
I can only wish you could love me
So back into those dreams I go
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018 at 10:48 AM UTC
She stands outside my blooming heart
and draws my soul with messy hands
paint mixed with my blood and sweat
blurring all the lines
bending all the rules
And she's not Monet
but she doesn't remember my face anyway
I'm just a shadow in a crowd
and just a paint when we're alone
'cause the sunny afternoon
doesn't last forever
whenever
wherever
the wind will take us away
Mar 3, 2016
Mar 3, 2016 at 2:04 PM UTC
If only I had taken
those last few steps
towards you,
I probably would have
had the courage to say
a simple 'hello'.
But instead,
I'd chicken'ed out
and let her get the chance
to say them instead.
And now;
I've lost my only chance
to ever be with you.
{ E.I }
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015 at 2:21 PM UTC
I'm no good
I don't deserve you
because I would wish for the person you like
to have someone else,
Just so you
could finally notice me.
{ E.I }
May 28, 2015
May 28, 2015 at 8:41 AM UTC