#unnatural
Something's off about me,
I look in the mirror,
But my reflection doesn't want
To look back.
I blink too fast,
Hold eye contact too long.
There are so many rules,
That weren't coded into my DNA.
When to laugh,
When to cry,
When to talk,
And when to hold my tongue.
I don't look quite like,
Anyone else.
I don't think quite like,
Anyone else.
Maybe it's because,
I'm not like anyone else.
I'm not from here,
Am I?
Apr 16
Apr 16, 2026 at 8:55 AM UTC
in a reforested mountainside, an equipment of men,
gather to harvest their forgotten predecessors plantings,
they comb and come with tools of great precision, honed,
carbide-tipped steel, high-alloy and high-speed steel,
teethings of diamond tips to abrade the resistant skin of the raw
material, ironic desirable for its very hardness that yields unwilling
to the saws of ant men, confident in their superiority, and the
tenacity, of the combine of men + machine, to bend nature into its unnatural components…
the radios crackle with warnings, shouts of ‘timber!” marking
a new stage, of objectified transformation, a tree is now timber,
de-branched, plucked and ready~prepped for transport to the killing mills, to become lumber, further on in their reformulation into boards of baby sized building blocks, and the irony of the cut is lost on no man. for they too, cogs and cognizant, will be cut, felled and fallen,
some in the prime, some unseasoned green and too early for usage,
and others who, have reach a stage too~aged, inutile, scrap readied,
few by their own choosing, unlike the hands that chose
these trees…
my heavy head crashed into early into a bed of fern, the brain then rem~cleansed, the troublesome underbrush cutaway, and rewakened reworked, reformulated in the minutes either side of midnight, with pencil and paper, progeny of the tree, I’m summoned by the invisible hand, to compose a compost of disposition by words, a pasty pastiche
of the amorphous sedimentary graphite that is redeposited onto
the paper…
is it poem or essay, a dream transcribed and transcripted, a reformulation of self, a metaphorical myth of my own demise,
and I’m reminded of the lyric of Mad World:
“ … And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had”
in the downward sloping, slouching process,
that marks the body’s agenda of its aging aggrievement agreement,
when and where balance, is an unaffordable luxury,
my willing words fall by the wayside of my travel and travailing,
seeds for seedlings,
new plantings,
and I shed them willingly, even eagerly,
disowning them to whomsoever dare
retrieve them from the forest floor,
or cede them to the passerby wind
for a random reforestation
reformulation,
knowing well in advance that
their by~products
will find their way into
your hands,
your mind
and now that it is the right side of the twelve o’clock hour,
we can begin over again,
reformed and reformulated,
from beginning to the
end.
<nml>
~~~~
12:17AM
Sabbath Eve
Fri Jan 20
2026
Jan 29
Jan 29, 2026 at 11:25 PM UTC
We are in an ice machine
"owned" by the dark of heart.
As I write these frigid lines,
spirit clenched,
It is loudly making ice again.
A splintering crack,
a thunderous land,
a thwoom and a ghastly hiss
is all you hear throughout the land
in an ice machine such as this.
Jan 29
Jan 29, 2026 at 1:27 AM UTC
The monsters quickly collect under the bed
Graduating faster to free range demons roaming the head
Diabolical shadows lurking on the perimeter of the peripheral
Becoming a something far to real to think it still impossible
Unlike fear and loathing, fear and logic are seldomly seen traversing side by side
The unnatural occurrence of an unnecessary ride
By the time an oblivious mind realizes the kamikaze danger
The digits it controls are busy pulling out each heartbreak dagger
Those select few that came through the front from the back
Create tallies in scar form that are starting to overlap as they stack
Teetering on life's edge as it dares me to take that final step over
Finding it impossible not to follow the devil when there's one on each shoulder
Mar 12, 2025
Mar 12, 2025 at 3:44 AM UTC
_Life is just the façade of plastic_ – plastic money; currency crafted
from synthetic dreams, one's plastic love; affections moulded in
artificial forms. Too much of the latter; a toxic one's greatest trait.
Plastic taste; threads of regret cling to my teeth – my palate’s
insides churns; the words of people made of plastic bullets; still
their weight hurts.
Gazes of a select few friends resemble patient crows, observing
the burdens you bear in a plastic bag of your baggage. A course of
those processed foods; processed natural flavours – _sprinkle a little
more sugar to add weight to that plastic container._
“You don’t really match my flavour,” I wouldn’t know how it
really tastes – _my heart;_ I’d love to give you a taste, but it’s often
filled with so much hate. And as I try not to break what holds my
food for thought; I keep my dreams on a plastic plate.
_But even plastic breaks,_ just with the right weight.
So tell me, why are you trying to carry the weight of the world?
Feb 11, 2025
Feb 11, 2025 at 2:55 AM UTC
What is this,
This twisting thing my face is doing
It feels so unnatural
My lips curling this way is disturbing
And they're doing it all on their own
What is this?
The corners seemingly defying me,
Lifting and contorting
I can't seem to stop it
People are reacting,
Though not retracting
What is this?
Ah, nevermind,
There it goes,
Quickly spoiling,
Back to all stale looking
Back to the real thing
Let's promise to never do that again
No more of this...
...ever
©2024
Oct 2, 2024
Oct 2, 2024 at 7:46 PM UTC
A flattened cricket,
Bright fluorescent lights,
A bathroom stall
Aug 10, 2024
Aug 10, 2024 at 2:18 AM UTC
I was the idiot clown watching the well-suited circus
It was at the 14th tooth whistle that my brain said goodbye
So many words had died and were forced to the front of her mouth
I scanned her face with intrigue
Such formality had caused deep ravines to form around her eyes, her lips
She had signed and surrendered her personality for this job years ago
Perhaps it was the price she paid to be found worthy of listening to
I wondered if she in a small corner of her home loved to turn inside out.
I wondered
Before being interrupted with another ambiguous, impossible question
But I couldn't care, just as her voice couldn't care
The circus was still in session.
Jun 4, 2024
Jun 4, 2024 at 7:28 AM UTC
You already know I could twist your mind like sprite did with a lemon and lime
And all it would take is the right line and the wickedest rhyme to pull you from the time you thought you were doing just fine
But nope, now you're lost in a reality as dark as mine, no shine, just grime
A slime you can't rinse off, you'll wince as you feel it intertwine and become part of your spine
An evil design, your whole being now redefined
By then it's to late to hit stop and you can't rewind, the seeds already been planted down deep inside
Any bit of good has died, drowned out by a vicious, unnatural high tide
That there, that's the evil carnival ride
I've spied on those deepest fears that you've tried to hide
Oh how you've tried and tried to hide proof of their existence but you've lied
And you can't do that to me I'm afraid, no reason thought that you should be afraid
However, I already know that you are, I've followed the trail that you've laid
Small fears leading to large fears, some riddled with the tears you've made
The years that have strayed, the thoughts that stayed, leaving you to feel betrayed and to your dismay, here I am holdin' 'em in your face, like a winning *****
Ooooh how fear can cut deeper then the sharpest blade and aid in the all out raid
A massacre masquerade brought by a frayed being formally thought to be slayed
No blockade can keep me out when I've already seen inside, peeked through the blinds
I've seen the outlines, seen what you keep in the deepest confines, in the darkest corners it hides
A little whisper here, a short memory there is all it takes, so quickly it reminds
And draws clear lines in the sand, come to the dark side and find that it's nice over here, you may even enjoy the ride
But it looks like your little ***** have shriveled up and dried like cow hide
Left with only a plan that life denied...and your pride
But that will only provide a cockeyed stride derived from never seeing an upside
So learn to say **** it and avoid that toxified landslide
Stand here alongside me and get your mind clarified
Create your own chaos, inject a little genocide
Post up curbside or on a hillside to watch the world burn
I know you've yearned for this your whole life, well now, it's your turn
Your life has been a pattern so let's break the mold and never return
Let me be your lantern to guide you away from the molten hot iron
Don't concern yourself with this trend, a path that's so modern
Society needs the savage people to return, don't be so fuckin' stubborn
Let's relearn these trates and earn your spot in history before you reach the urn
Just a little shift in alliance, embrace defiance and use it as guidance
You've taken the licks now break the silence, it's your turn for violence
What do you mean it doesn't make sense? Don't show your ignorance
Frozen in a defeated stance shooting me a confused, wide eyed glance
**** yo, now's your chance to stand in the inzone doing your own victory dance
Stumbling upon me this very moment I can gerentee wasn't by chance
No coincidence, something this life altering isn't happenstance
I'm here to shake you out of your trance and show you a new entrance
Here, I'll even hold the door open, all you have to do is walk through and advance
Come oooon, you want it back, I can see it, cut the act, I don't believe it
Grow a sack, you're gonna need it, but since you lack you won't achieve it
Look, I can't force you to do **** that I'll admit
But only a nit wit would look at what I've laid out and not grab hold of it
Just try it out a bit and if you don't feel it we can turn it back lickidy-split
I'm gonna be honest, I can promise that until you try it I'm not fittin' to quit
People that know me woud say that I'm a stubborn ****
But I don't walk through.
I ignore the swift, slick little voice. It's not new.
There has been a few times I did, one or two....
Right, one or two dozen maybe and if I only knew.
If I only knew in the long run what those decisions would do...
I guess I would have nothing to write, nothing to say to you
©2018
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018 at 1:00 PM UTC
Harken unto thee all ye cubicled rats
Furrowed brows
And mortgage rows
A cocktail of sneezes, wheezes and white lights
Leave me the soil under my fingernails
The monsoon and the snakes,
Heavy lifting, creature coexisting
Just spare me from the circle-backs
And obituary emails.
The stale air, ergonomic chair.
Hallowed be the slow mornings
Birdsong breaking the dawn
A soul full of tea
Softly resting chin on knee
Save us from the flood of empty words
Of formality and forced smiles
The glorification of busy
Crumble the ancient hierarchy
Let us wander home.
Dec 3, 2020
Dec 3, 2020 at 7:05 AM UTC
I often have a dream,
About this feeling
It is an escape,
This love.
I don't know where I am
So I thought of holding her hand
And taking her along
On a journey with no sure destination.
Sometimes I'm stuck
listening to the background noise,
I'm fading out into the unknown.
This seemingly perpetual dip in time
Makes me come back to life.
Realising a purpose
Now that I have her,
It is time to make our journey
Conflate and intertwine
Like Adam and Eve
Exiled from the garden of Eden
Seeking salvation together for eternity.
It is time to put an end to this pretend
Even if this union is treason,
For the summers are always slipping away
But the show must go on
We can escape together now,
Without having to give any reason.
Jun 29, 2020
Jun 29, 2020 at 8:21 AM UTC
I met a drifter once with soulless eyes
Who told a tale of red demented skies
A madness rides when darkness rules the earth
And howling wolfen echoes now are heard
A whitened moon is shining brightly there
Upon the paths of men, of fools that dare
To cross, to enter forests bound to rule
Of Baron ****** cruel and nightly cool
The men still travel headless down the road
To Baron's castle dark, their new abode
A silence fills the ears as gurgling dies
A silent static warning - travel wise
I ventured forth the paths of blackened woods
And heard I there the noises barely good
In terror, fear and horrid dreams I stepped
To crawling blackness there and gates *****
The fear was there, astounding gravely fold
The swaying bodies, clouds of grey so bold
In windy gates, in hollow ground and more
Will walk the hanged, the blooded ones in yore
I turn and run as far as legs would take
I run until I reach a crystal lake
And there nearby a village stood aghast
I stumbled forward, homely inn atlast
To catch a breath, to feel relief at heart
Relief that came gave way to thoughts so stark
'Twas then I heard a horse and neighs and screams
Commotion there, a song and creaks and dreams
There stood a rider, crimson ****** death
Ungody terror stealing every breath
The Crimson Baron, headless, stood there proud
And looming over us, the stormy cloud
A rider red atop a horse and dead
The bloodied sword that bit and bit the heads
And dyed the plates, a colour crimson gore
To chop, to chop us all and more and more
A hand that fell atop the singing moon
A hand that brought me low to pits of gloom
Of people hardy stole the god and mocked
The changing seasons, life, the earthly walk
The wight alive in slaughter lost the sight
I climbed a tree in fright in hasty flight
To watch the limbs of bodies broken fly
The men and women, children hanged to die
As slowly moves the timely guiding hand
And ripple skies above, a plane so grand
A ****** slaughter waning down below
A promise, fateful image, bane and woe
And then I turn my eyes to bright of light
To ember stars, to moon aglow in night
To ride atop the mountains, hold a vault
In hands, above the heavens, hold a court
Awake I, ground so damp with dew and tears
A steady breath for painful lonely years
To hear a neigh, a horse to dream, to haunt
A rider ****** waltzing, hear his taunt
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 9, 2020 at 2:34 PM UTC
Flowers bloom next to rusting Pepsi cans,
Watered by the spit of ******* dealers,
And the ***** and vaginal fluid,
Of hot lovers groping under blankets,
Under stars dimly blinking through thick smog.
Nightly haven for muggers, rapists, fiends,
Whose every breath profanes the species they,
So poorly represent, turning Plato’s,
Featherless bipeds, to dead plucked chickens,
Soul-less, pointless wastes of protoplasm.
Abomination-- not in itself but,
For the use it’s put to: a bone for dogs,
Who’ve never tasted steak, and are gleeful,
To feast upon the scraps of fetid meat,
Clinging to well-gnawed bones that they are fed.
Central Park, the bone we are to chew while,
Smiling complacently at skyscrapers,
Daily rising where wild flowers might have grown,
Our humanity proportionally,
Shrinking inversely to their daily rise.
If I seem narrow minded and unkind,
Or blind to the beauty of Central Park,
It is because I’ve stood on ****** ground,
In summer, fall, winter and early spring,
And cannot bring myself to love a *****
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018 at 12:00 AM UTC
We Live In A Dog Eat Dog World
The principal rule of life
As beaten in every door
Is to get your fill
Of the the great big pie
That the world offers
But pieces don't have names attached to them
And there are only a limited amount of slices
So when in line
Standing one behind
Disregard its structure and the numbers that form it
And find the front
Quicker than your eyes can see it
As to not go hungry
Such is the way a human lives amongst humans
We are only food
To fill each others stomachs
And I've seen every type of meal
I've seen everyone devoured
Strange enough though
I've never seen a dog eat another dog
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 5:07 PM UTC
We get so lost in this another world,
that is becoming our reality,
actually it has already started.
And it's scaring me.
Humankind has lost a sense of self,
nothing is real anymore
and when nothing's real,
everything feels worthless.
Everything we constantly keep aiming for...
but for what?
Did you ever stop and ask yourself;
what are you doing?
Why are you doing this and what for?
What is real?
Is it your smile or your words?
Im frightened that this other world may be the end of us.
We will reach the bottom line aiming for the; top, perfection.
There will be very little left of authenticity,
if none..
Feb 7, 2018
Feb 7, 2018 at 9:43 AM UTC
The curse of eternal life
Would be, watching
Every one you love, die
...and she felt like
Her bones were buried
In her body
Unapologetically
Apathetic
She had eaten eons,
Watched the ends
Of millions of clocks’ lifetimes
Snorted the rust of their
Idle hands, dead still
In the blank stare
Of their concentric silence
She wanted to cease
This void existence,
For boredom was
Her ultimate torture
Jun 26, 2017
Jun 26, 2017 at 4:08 AM UTC
My steps have led me
To a far unknown place
Where the Beast is hiding,
Where the Dark is shining
Across the other side
Of the moor.
Magpies have sung me
About a far unknown place
Where my Heart is hiding
Into a deep dark well
On the other side
Of the moor.
My memories have left me
Into a black unknown place
Where a patient Solitude awaits,
Unnatural Silence circulates
A deep dark well
On the blackest side
Of the moor.
The Beast is laughing...
Mar 30, 2017
Mar 30, 2017 at 3:25 PM UTC
Cradle me in your bones,
teach me the meaning of home,
I'm lost in this feeling of numbness,
My heart is gone,
replaced by a stack of bricks
and no matter how much
I strive and twist,
I feel absolutely nothing,
The crannies in my mind
have never been so
mind numbing,
I feel nothing at all
and it feels so un-natural.
Oct 14, 2016
Oct 14, 2016 at 9:50 AM UTC
This feeling
unlike any other feeling
Feels unnatural,
unsafe and catastrophical
can't get out, can't handle being all alone
Clinging on to the only safety I know
Even if it feels entirely wrong
What's wrong with me?
Why am I so scared of the unknown?
This is the time to test boundaries,
Learn for selfgrowth,
And feel forever young
I'm like a child inside,
scared and lonely,
Afraid to take the risk,
To fly high above
and shine
on my oh so destined throne
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 5:37 AM UTC
the might redwood
standing tall resilient
ignoring mankind
Sep 15, 2016
Sep 15, 2016 at 3:19 PM UTC