#unforgivable - Hello Poetry

I catch myself sulkin' in a dangerous headspace far to often Hope fadin' to nothin' as I witness this slowly becomin' a trend Does life's chokehold ever loosen? Possibly but probably only after recordin' just one more win Does the fall from grace to then through the bottom of my rock bottom ever soften? How many of life's knockout blows to the chin can I take before smelling salts are no longer an option They completely stop workin', then, try as you might I can no longer be woken but I'm not dreamin' I hate to think it but is my inner peace destin to be found in a cheap coffin from some morbid discount bin Only then activatin' when they set me in and my body begins the process of decomposin' I'm not that lucky, I already know how it'll end Only leads to a destination for those with the designation of unforgiven Seems like I was made pre-broken but more often than not the why is an overpriced question, so it's rarely spoken How is any of this benefital to my survival and progression towards a vaguely promised fairy tail endin' Feels like regression made it it's mission to win the tug o war competition and it's lookin' like it did while barely tryin' There's only so far I can bend, destined to give in, I'm sayin' when with a voice through a digital pen Regardless who's payin' attention, wether anybody likes it or not there's no stoppin' or dodgin' what's comin' If history's taught me anythin' it's that there's no way this isn't happenin', it's both out of my hands and out of the question I won't beg you to listen, the dead end repetition has caused me to bail on even the lowest bar of expectation I'm not strong enough to keep goin', I can no longer pretend, can't count on myself to treat myself like a friend I've never known or at least have forgotten how to mend, now I'm the firey wreckage of a doomed hydrogen Zeppelin A bad idea tried over and over again, full send, hand your beer to a friend, yeah, we all know that definition I'm a multi fasited paradox, like water and oil mixin', or a Christian followin' what Jesus was actually teachin' Good and evil coexistin' under the same skin so there's a constant battle ragin' within Given advice but don't listen, cost of hate skyrocketin' but I'm buyin' in without even researchin' Ignorin' every critical warnin' while needlessly explorin' the landmine riddled mess I'm in My own reflection is a poor representation, I begin witnessin' the facade crackin' revealin' a twisted perfection But perfection was never the requirement, but still a required lesson I couldn't begin to tell you how many times I was a dollar short of payin' attention Realization sets in mid tail spin, lost all sense of direction, my guidance system way overdue for an inspection But once again no one gets in even though I'm desperately needin' a licensed technician My problems baffle the best of list of repair men to the point they go searchin' out a new profession I'm an occupational hazard, a coward, findin' the bad in every good situation, a magnet for confrontation Then I start thinkin', maybe my malfunction is beyond repairin' so I focus in on my masks restoration The projection of a sane person is important as to not draw attention to this infection of darkness that's spreadin' An infestation of my past, present and future anxieties manafestin', fear on every station, runnin' into problems at every elevation A hate hate relation, both comin' from and directed at the same person Cursin' my own existence as every action taken to better this god forsaken life adaptation only sees the situation worsen What's the solution? Where do I even begin lookin'? Is there a guide I could or should be followin'? If I told you hope was taken all the way back before my creation I'm sure it'll have you thinkin' I must be mistaken But I have no stake in or reason to lie, no exaggeration needed when the truth alone is so friggin frightenin' Don't come a knockin', you wouldn't want me to invite you in, the den is set up like a ***** dungeon Horrendous ***** happenin' within these walls, under my skin, you couldn't and shouldn't try to imagine It'll break you down like a fraction, plus, I can't say that I can see the attraction You're gonna have to come up with an explanation for that one again, start from the beginnin' 'Cause I thought I made the warnin' clear, extra bold between each quotation, reiderated in every caption Let me give you some life changin' advice son, run, don't look back till you see kingdom come on the horizon I'm not one to bet on, a hopeless lost cause, it'd do you well to move on ©2022

0

Sep 19, 2022

Sep 19, 2022 at 2:29 PM UTC

bettsjc187

~•§•~ A Hate/Hate Relationship ~•§•~

I catch myself sulkin' in a dangerous headspace far to often Hope fadin' to nothin' as I witness this slowly becomin' a trend Does life's chokehold ever loosen? Possibly but probably only after recordin' just one more win Does the fall from grace to then through the bottom of my rock bottom ever soften? How many of life's knockout blows to the chin can I take before smelling salts are no longer an option They completely stop workin', then, try as you might I can no longer be woken but I'm not dreamin' I hate to think it but is my inner peace destin to be found in a cheap coffin from some morbid discount bin Only then activatin' when they set me in and my body begins the process of decomposin' I'm not that lucky, I already know how it'll end Only leads to a destination for those with the designation of unforgiven Seems like I was made pre-broken but more often than not the why is an overpriced question, so it's rarely spoken How is any of this benefital to my survival and progression towards a vaguely promised fairy tail endin' Feels like regression made it it's mission to win the tug o war competition and it's lookin' like it did while barely tryin' There's only so far I can bend, destined to give in, I'm sayin' when with a voice through a digital pen Regardless who's payin' attention, wether anybody likes it or not there's no stoppin' or dodgin' what's comin' If history's taught me anythin' it's that there's no way this isn't happenin', it's both out of my hands and out of the question I won't beg you to listen, the dead end repetition has caused me to bail on even the lowest bar of expectation I'm not strong enough to keep goin', I can no longer pretend, can't count on myself to treat myself like a friend I've never known or at least have forgotten how to mend, now I'm the firey wreckage of a doomed hydrogen Zeppelin A bad idea tried over and over again, full send, hand your beer to a friend, yeah, we all know that definition I'm a multi fasited paradox, like water and oil mixin', or a Christian followin' what Jesus was actually teachin' Good and evil coexistin' under the same skin so there's a constant battle ragin' within Given advice but don't listen, cost of hate skyrocketin' but I'm buyin' in without even researchin' Ignorin' every critical warnin' while needlessly explorin' the landmine riddled mess I'm in My own reflection is a poor representation, I begin witnessin' the facade crackin' revealin' a twisted perfection But perfection was never the requirement, but still a required lesson I couldn't begin to tell you how many times I was a dollar short of payin' attention Realization sets in mid tail spin, lost all sense of direction, my guidance system way overdue for an inspection But once again no one gets in even though I'm desperately needin' a licensed technician My problems baffle the best of list of repair men to the point they go searchin' out a new profession I'm an occupational hazard, a coward, findin' the bad in every good situation, a magnet for confrontation Then I start thinkin', maybe my malfunction is beyond repairin' so I focus in on my masks restoration The projection of a sane person is important as to not draw attention to this infection of darkness that's spreadin' An infestation of my past, present and future anxieties manafestin', fear on every station, runnin' into problems at every elevation A hate hate relation, both comin' from and directed at the same person Cursin' my own existence as every action taken to better this god forsaken life adaptation only sees the situation worsen What's the solution? Where do I even begin lookin'? Is there a guide I could or should be followin'? If I told you hope was taken all the way back before my creation I'm sure it'll have you thinkin' I must be mistaken But I have no stake in or reason to lie, no exaggeration needed when the truth alone is so friggin frightenin' Don't come a knockin', you wouldn't want me to invite you in, the den is set up like a ***** dungeon Horrendous ***** happenin' within these walls, under my skin, you couldn't and shouldn't try to imagine It'll break you down like a fraction, plus, I can't say that I can see the attraction You're gonna have to come up with an explanation for that one again, start from the beginnin' 'Cause I thought I made the warnin' clear, extra bold between each quotation, reiderated in every caption Let me give you some life changin' advice son, run, don't look back till you see kingdom come on the horizon I'm not one to bet on, a hopeless lost cause, it'd do you well to move on ©2022