#unfeeling
Trying to feel feelings
'Cause theres feelings feelings everywhere,
Feelings that I don't feel.
Jun 5, 2025
Jun 5, 2025 at 9:55 AM UTC
What have I done?
On my quest to gain power,
I killed someone,
Someone dear to me,
And not just one,
But multiple people that existed only in me
Died with my act,
An unforgivable one.
The setting sun
Unleashes it's red glow
Further highlighting the blood on my hands
The wind howls, mourning;
A trait I have forever lost
I look back back to my villa
An haven big enough to feed the world
To fulfil every and all desire and needs
Forever keeping them happy
But to me, it's a monument to what I did
It will never fulfil my one desire.
I wish mother was here
I still remember the last time I saw her
She was smiling, that genuine smile I've always loved
Even as her body deteriorate
I worked so hard to save her
But I failed.
Now, this is the only memory of her that's left,
The rest died with him,
That happy child,
So full of wonder, curiosity,
Knew what it meant to live in the moment
To be genuinely happy,
To genuinely love and care for others without thinking of ulterior motives
To.....to......to just....be
But I will never feel that again
On my quest to be independent
To grow up
To be for me and me alone
What was nurtured in me for years
All the memories and emotions engraved within them
Gone, in the blink of an eye
A stand here amidst the haven I built to be my happiness
But all it does is remind me of my state
Dead, cold, and unfeeling
Forever cursed to be soulless
A cold unfeeling monster
Apr 25, 2025
Apr 25, 2025 at 2:45 PM UTC
Wave after wave we rode the highs,
Steadying our footing before the next rise,
It all crashes into laughter and the salty foam,
Time flew by as the clouds framed the setting sun,
Lighting our path as the time came to head back home.
I lived in the fleeting moments loving the rush of being alive,
Forgetting about the dark night that lay over the horizon,
As we crossed the threshold back into our abode,
The interlude ended as the last light receded from the windows,
Leaving me in unattended in the murk of my thoughts.
Unequipped for the blackness that glared at me,
I searched for a glimmer of a forgotten dream,
There was once a fire that shone bright my hopes & ambitions,
Not even embers remain that I may stoke a new flame,
Aimlessly I move through the motions of the daily mundane.
Slowly collapsing under the unbearable weight,
Wishing that I could find meaning in life,
Or give up altogether and end it tonight,
"Why am I even here?" Echoes back at me from the dark,
I fear there is nothing else left for me here.
Nov 13, 2022
Nov 13, 2022 at 3:33 PM UTC
When up is down,
left twists into right
Green burns brown,
day becomes night.
I'm walking on the ceiling
confused by everything.
Feeling that I am unfeeling
as I don't know anything.
Jun 16, 2020
Jun 16, 2020 at 9:08 PM UTC
Charred
From flames past
Stunned into silence
By their selfishness,
anger,
detachment,
indifference...
He hears their voices
screeching
his name--
The void awakening
to consume
his sanity
He whispers,
defeated,
"Can I steal
my Self away
from this world now please?"
May 4, 2020
May 4, 2020 at 8:27 AM UTC
My heart feels blocked, my fingers unable to unlock its doors.
Perhaps time moves too fast
for it to be processed.
Or maybe this icy chill has crept in
through my thick curtains and made its home
in my chest.
My heart, my mind are numb.
Where are you emotions? Where are you poems?
The words don’t pour out anymore,
I’ve seemed to have lost my voice
or maybe I’ve gotten used to being silenced.
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 31, 2019 at 8:21 PM UTC
So you cheated, which is something I honestly expected.
Doesn't mean I’m not destroyed, I'm really quite affected.
I was hoping it wouldn't go this away, and together we would be great!
But at the end of the day I was your cheap thrill, a way to increase your heart rate.
Because i need a break from you, girl worried about getting to the next base,
That is, before I escalate the situation, punch someone in the face.
An interesting experience, and I hate to sound cruel,
But your breaking my heart Tuts, i hate being another's tool.
And your best friend assured me you cared a whole lot.
“Yeah, I'm sure.” I said after, just wanting to smoke some ***
“No, she really does, and loves you, this is all a big mistake.”
“Yeah? If it were truly like that I would be great”
I think a better word there is ecstatic.
But my imaginary friend was back, “Don’t be so dramatic.”
I loved holding you, and I'm sure you felt the same.
You were my Peach, in this stupid game.
But you took the game too far, why oh why.
And now the other boys are busy, making, a Peachpie...
Some like to scream, and others just love to pray…
Me? I just hope I don't get in the way.
But you, you proved my hypothesis right…
Do remember when i said i loved you, late that night?
Then you broke my trust, dashed me into pieces.
So here am, righting yet another thesis,
Against the name of love, put Cupid to shame,
****** I’m liar, here I go screaming your name.
Beautiful Peach, you wound me so…
And now, I’m completely out of ammo.
Do i ever want to see you again, i don’t know.
But you made a man into a shadow..
So in conclusion.
Not a single man, woman or child, should be deluded.
If I take you back, will be your last chance.
But, I’mma need 50 in advance.
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 31, 2019 at 8:55 AM UTC
I just want to cry
I can't seem to do that lately
My mess is all bottled up inside
But the cork is ******* on tightly
Tears don't come as fast it should
What an unnerving feeling
My emotions has betrayed me
Has drained me
I am feeling nothing and everything at once
It makes the room spin slightly
A hole where the loudness started
Has grown bigger each day
Sneaking its way into my dreams
To torment me awake
I lay in silence til dawn breaks
I do not feel safe
Sleep, old friend
Come as soon as you can
Nov 11, 2018
Nov 11, 2018 at 1:54 PM UTC
Where did my feelings flutter too?
The ones that make my body sparkle
And pound my chest with joy
The ones that spew anger and shout rage
The ones that throw tears at my eyes
And sooth relief into my veins
The ones that turn my thoughts into dreams
And my dreams into life
The ones that left me ohh so unlonely
Why did they go?
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 8:55 PM UTC
they kneel in the
corner of the room, unaware
maybe uncaring
most definitely unfeeling
apathy: a symptom of depression
in their case, undiagnosed suffering
over the years of fighting
a disease that wanted them dead,
they learned what the worst part was.
not the self-hatred.
not the permanent exhaustion.
not the intrusive thoughts.
not the suicidal urges,
not the emotional instability.
it was the apathy.
they had periods of time,
hours, maybe days
in which they couldn't feel anything
a horrible numbness
like saltwater crawling in their veins
like their skin was drawn too tight
like their heart had stopped beating
hours of nothing.
days of nothing.
terrifying, but not
because they couldn't feel fear.
the apathy was an infection
they could not find it in them to care
they could not find it in them to smile
to laugh
to cry
to shout
to love
they could not find it in them to live.
the apathy was the
emotional equivalent
of a sensory deprivation chamber,
the kind intended for torture;
a horrible lack of sensation
designed to bring a person
to the brink of an indifferent insanity.
years later,
and i have recovered
i have grown
but in the darkest moments,
when i feel the saltwater
lap at my ankles
when i don't feel the terror
i know i should
i wonder
if this time is the time
from which i can't
recover.
i wonder
if this time is the time
in which i will forever lose
my ability to love.
May 5, 2018
May 5, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
Soiled nappies
filled with discontent.
That the world is
always uncomfortable
and full of discomfort..
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 10:58 AM UTC
i am rubber, i am glue
i feel nothing, i feel blue
hi, i’m [ ], who are you?
fighting fire with fire but where is the fire?
just charred husks of what once was and what could have been
just emptiness, memories that i can’t remember
emotions i can no longer feel
sharp corners and fine points turned to dull nothings
wishing to be whispered sweet nothings
wishing for the sweet and wishing for the nothing
everybody loves me
faces and smiles turn into pictures of stock
if you knew me like i knew me you wouldn’t love me
maybe i’m not upset that they don’t love me or that they don’t care
maybe i’m upset because they do
how do you love [ ]?
how do you worry about and talk about [ ]?
how do you look at [ ] and feel something?
i wish i could feel the emotions you do
concern for my well-being
worry and panic because i lose myself
maybe you do love me
maybe i don’t want you to love me
calling myself names to evoke a response
words go through me because there’s nothing to stick to
i’m not rubber, i’m not glue
bounce off what and stick to who?
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 3:35 PM UTC
A broken heart
I would welcome
If truth be told
Over a heart
That would become
Unfeeling... Cold.
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 6:08 AM UTC
Under the cover of night,
A savagery blossoms in everyone,
Thriving in the privacy of darkened corners
And behind locked doors.
Inhibitions are lost,
And veils removed,
And the arching,
Writhing,
Wild things emerge.
There is one exception,
A predator that sinks into the shadows
And observes.
One who calculates every movement,
And plans,
Meticulously,
How to create the perfect night.
As the moon inches closer to the horizon,
And the purple of the dawn
Begins to rise,
The predator manipulates her prey into the necessary positions,
Guiding them into the right movements,
To say the right things,
Punishing,
And rewarding,
For following her rules.
“Sometimes I wish that I were like the other
Animaux de noir
So that I could release myself,
Instead of cinch
And draw in
Defensively.
But meticulousness is all I know
And to design
Carefully
Methodically
Does not keep one warm.
I must plot every second,
Every reaction,
And list the rules for my prey.
Take away their sight
Their speech
Their movement,
And once they know the isolation of the sensation of touch
Without control,
Without authority,
They may earn them back,
One by one,
Until they can give me a definitive answer.
What is it that you want?
What do you need the most?
What do you want to do first?
And what will you do last?
Predictably,
They plead to give me what I already knew they would give,
To do the things that all before them have done,
Because they are puppets,
They’re easy,
They’re all ****** to be the same,
And I,
Night after night,
Will remain
Just as meticulous.”
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 10:02 PM UTC
I am empty,
unfeeling;
That was what I felt when I met you.
You cried for those who were miserable,
and I only thought it vain.
You fought so vigilantly for everything,
and I did the same,
with my own perspective.
You were a child with big dreams.
I was the adult with true realism.
But I was trying.
I only dreamt of a world with you.
I did not realize of the destruction I was capable of,
and I was not aware of the calamity that lived within me.
I had lost you,
and only did I know then
that I was never empty.
I was filled with the existence of you.
And now you are gone.
So tell me,
what am I now?
— Y.H.
lost love,
gentle fervor.
Jan 14, 2018
Jan 14, 2018 at 2:42 PM UTC
What are these things you feel?
These deep things
secret things
their worth unbeknownst to you.
I cannot grasp them;
The breadth and worth of them
the way you do.
I cannot feel true pain
nor relish in overflowing joy.
I am but a suit of armor,
polished and made to reflect
a light that does not belong to me.
Awake, awake, o sleeper!
Awake to the worth of the blessed curse
to laugh and cry
to dream and die
with the strum of a lyre and the stroke of the pen
and the thousand words from family and friends.
It is not merely a blessing, nor merely a curse
and believe me, it is far, far worse
to be disconnected from the majesty
of your bleeding heart.
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 6:05 AM UTC
My eyes watch the camera reel,
hollow and hawkish,
unfocused, unreal,
I try to grasp the meaning here,
sullen and sarcastic,
illusive, instilled,
Forgotten fragments that don't seem to meld,
jutting and jagged,
reclusive, revealed,
The lens of life,
false and fibbed,
lost, lurid,
paltry and pitiable.
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 7:45 PM UTC
The walking dead in the land of the living
Soulless eyes and hearts unforgiving
They seek to destroy
******* out your joy
Shatter your skull
Make your mind dull
Rip out your heart
That's just the start
Dead set eyes
You'll never relize
Till it's to late
Your heart they ate
Breathing remains
Nothing else the same
Now hollow of feeling
Soul was sent reeling
Some don't know
Out of them life flowed
We're all missing parts
Mostly the heart
Also gray matter
Out of mouths spatter
Growing in number
Pillage and plunder
All must be feed
Living in the land of the dead..
Feb 2, 2016
Feb 2, 2016 at 8:16 PM UTC
Frostbite you must face.
The icy cold you'll just have to embrace.
The truth hurts honey, It's cold and hard.
But you made your decision, you played your last card.
You can't just start crying now that your heart is scarred.
You're not the only one, **** it up and grow yourself a backbone.
You must now start paying for your past, for your sins you must atone.
Jul 19, 2015
Jul 19, 2015 at 3:34 PM UTC
Touched or felt, could/would/should it be more real?
Jul 2, 2015
Jul 2, 2015 at 1:37 PM UTC
Immature
You lash out
you hurt those around you
Unfeeling
You lash out
you shut out those around you
Insensitive
You lash out
you break the hearts of those around you
Weak
You lash out
you burden those around you
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 2:04 PM UTC