#unconscious
I sleep so deeply,
in the mornings I’m unaware.
The world feels distant,
like I was never there.
I forget what has happened,
like mist in the air,
each thought slowly fading,
dissolving somewhere.
Yet I remember a moment,
the feelings, the pain.
I close my eyes softly,
and wander my brain.
Through echoes of yesterday,
and what was to come,
some days I was glowing,
some days I was numb.
I drift through reflections,
both gentle and grim,
where voices grow quiet,
and visions grow dim.
It’s strange how the darkness
can cradle me so,
in silence so heavy,
yet weightless below.
And maybe in sleeping,
there’s nothing to see–
just a beautiful stillness….
wouldn’t you agree?
♡ lil-usagi
Mar 27
Mar 27, 2026 at 5:31 PM UTC
The baskets spill, the piles are high,
unfolded truths that will not lie.
A basement door is pressed and bound,
with secrets clothed but never found.
I sort the fabric, piece by piece,
for some bring pain, and some bring peace.
The child I was still leaves her mark,
a tender seam, a hidden spark.
The mother’s cold, the lineage torn,
old stains of those who came before.
Yet in my hands I choose what stays,
what must be washed, what I’ll erase.
Each folded shirt, each garment worn,
a burden shed, a self reborn.
And through this work I come to see:
not every thread belongs to me.
Aug 23, 2025
Aug 23, 2025 at 10:23 AM UTC
My psyche’s manor,
candle-lit,
snow-capped hills,
gated in
against a fire
roaring in.
The wise old woman
waits and sits;
she speaks of safety,
preserving peace.
Unconscious contents
shake bronze gates,
so seasons change
beneath the skin.
In a white, vast court
where silence lives,
I’m safe for now —
but this I know:
that my Unknown
will come to Known.
Before the spring,
beneath my snow,
the grass of Me
begins to grow.
Aug 8, 2025
Aug 8, 2025 at 11:30 AM UTC
Scattered snakes
A leap of faith
A vacation from self
Into void
Two doors
Open Eyes
A descent
Into what we avoid
Constant sounds
Crescendos
To proximity
Of now
Meditation breaks
Then reforms
Foreign Sensations
Cell surge
Heavy heart
Static dreams
A pit opens
In consciousness
Destruction of silos
Synthesized parts
Hypnotized whole
One moment
Breaking into many
Weight of being
Sinking into flesh
Falling through mind
Flying past thought
Floating in awareness
Light as emptiness
I want to hold onto my memories
Like water in cupped hands
I fear entropy taking them away
Bit by bit, byte by byte
I am attached to them and I love them
Even as they change me
I see life through them
Through dreams that dream me
Webs of Stories form beliefs
Influencing actions
Creating concepts of me
Until me becomes myth
A synthesis of cells
Speaking electric tongues
A possession of matter
By patterns that think
Through a brain and a spine
And everything between
Resulting in unity
Of scattered fragments
Interactions forming bonds
All the way up
All the way down
Outside and within
Culture eating society
Society eating self
Self eating body
Body eating mind
Biology consuming chemistry
Chemistry consuming physics
Down to quantum foam
Relationships and interactions
Observation collapses waves
Into singular moments
Of existence
Embodied interactionism
Where Brahman meets brain
Where infinite touches finite
Where I dissolve
Into we
Forming beliefs
From scattered signs
Influencing actions
Through quantum dice
Creating me
From cosmic debris
Until individual
Becomes universal
Nov 14, 2024
Nov 14, 2024 at 11:14 PM UTC
Curiosity
from the depths it comes, expands.
Tears, joy, holy grail
Aug 16, 2024
Aug 16, 2024 at 11:10 PM UTC
We were in this small cafe on our morning
tea break
Me and some of my work colleagues
Someone inquired after my wellbeing
How I was
I motioned with my hand as if to say 'So, so"
Then I said
"I'm still a bit shaky"
'Why", they said, "what happened to you ?"
I answered "I was in a car crash last night"
"What!!!", they all said really concerned, "you shouldn't have come to work today, you should have stayed at home... you might be in
shock!"
Then I said 'It was only a dream'. I went on "Yea, I dreamt I was in a car
crash
I was driving down this terrible winding
mountain road
Like something you'd get over in Italy
It was like a spiral staircase, going round and
round
All these terrible bends
And the car it's getting faster and I know I'm
starting to lose control
So for a moment I look down trying to figure
out the controls
But suddenly when I look up again we've
overshot a Bend
And We're heading straight into a wall
It's like everything goes into slow motion
You know there's no avoiding it
You can only brace yourself for the impact
And then BAM!! POW**!!! .....
And then I can't remember what happened
after that.
Maybe I became unconscious"....then looking
at them all around the table I said
"Maybe I'm still unconscious, maybe I'm just dreaming you guys sitting here
right now
Maybe the dreamworld is the real world
And the real world but a dream...(tapping my finger on the table) a solid dream"
Then I took a sip of my coffee and said
"One thing...the coffee tastes nicer over on
this side".
May 31, 2023
May 31, 2023 at 4:35 PM UTC
Transformation:
one into many &
many into one
the bird of paradise
half truth and half lie
it's not pure fiction
but pure singing
or intensity of the dark light
this vibration of your U(nconscios)
is a floating vessel
(sunk into mystery)
for my dreams
mine is for yours and for her
and for them
this is the way we meet
It's scary and wonderful
to recognize each other
some mirrors are crazy
light hides itself best in the dark
and darkness hides itself
best in the brightest of lights
there are too many layers
of liquid meanings in this
creature called life -
the same way
the ocean is carrying
different layers of
pressure and dark
the bird of paradise
dissolves itself
into singing cause
this is the only way
to meet its music
a bird constantly changing
the shape of its wings
to accomodate danger -
the danger of being alive
on your own
day after night
Jan 1, 2023
Jan 1, 2023 at 8:56 AM UTC
Oh, hello itch,
I've not missed you!
Nor your pleading, uneasy,
Eager smile,
Wicked begging eyes,
And hungry open mouth.
I've quite enjoyed this past while,
Lacking your insistent whispers.
Your lustful face
Looming round each corner of my boxed up,
Broken brain -
'FRAGILE - Do Not Break'
Ignored by the world -
Allowing you unforced entry,
You made a home
Hidden in the shadow
Of my unconscious darkness.
Fitfully coming to light
To remind me
Of yours and therefore my own;
Plea to die.
Dec 9, 2022
Dec 9, 2022 at 7:47 AM UTC
he would have discovered him
trying to change the water formula in his tears
he tried to exist/insist/resist
where no body was thinking
the man without moon
suspended in a terrorizing labyrinth of faces
His own
he was a method man
growing salt in his eyes like minefields
teaching it the taste of the earth
anxiety like mountains of fog eradicating crossroads
he wants to exist inside the body of the world
with the decency of negotiated desires
and the hands get lost in translation
truth is a black truffle
sweating and swearing
sensuous craters perhaps
he killed many singing birds
searching for imagination, his body
muted, renegotiated soon after birth
staying alive, denying the soul of zebras
He lacks verbs, some nouns
learning from the theory of absence
how the effortless U(n-conscious)
is a Poet that
rhymes the body with the mind
of the world
He summoned the shaman, the artists, the tango teacher
to the wake of his body
while learning how summer waves contribute to a theory of mind
his self white
white while forgetting Magritte,
a taxi for Chopin
or the whiteness of the cotton pickers
perhaps
Nov 9, 2021
Nov 9, 2021 at 5:48 AM UTC
The feeling of fear meeting someone for the first time
the delight looking at a little child playing
near ecstasy smelling a magnolia blossom
a secure feeling upon seeing Pampas Grass.
The unsafe feeling being with the blonde man
who had been nothing but kind to me
then… finally I remembered
the sandy-haired boy who made an object of me
at age seven behind the barn on a summer day.
So much of the self is hidden
chaining me to the old
keeping me in a caterpillar state
stumbling over chunks of earth
ignorant of what can happen
in the cocoon.
But learning, writing, remembering
can make me a Monarch
flying into spring.
Aug 23, 2021
Aug 23, 2021 at 2:35 PM UTC
In deepening dream a dark moon song
Careening oration to the reeling inside
of flickering film, burning fast celluloid
An internal tribute to a time now past
Adrift at dawn the dervish swoops its
whirling and whining an awesome spectre
enraged she raps her raw knuckles
Pushing apart deepest self
Seeing in sleep the shadow of my daylight
That blinds me habitually; subliminally she
Speaks the script to a censored play
I’ve never seen.
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 11:45 AM UTC
Unmoved everything is leaden
My thoughts are dry
Striving like a ship in a bladderwrack sea
My vanity is death to creativity
Give me lonesome insanity
And the truth in delirium dreams
Give me truth that hammers in torrents
At the warped deck
Give me truth that seeps and runs
To the lowest point
Truth that opens clouds
Rolls back seas
Revealing slime-rock weed-whipped me
Give me the humming in the womb
The beating in the drum
That settled in my ancestor’s ear
Distant sounds, drawing near
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 11:43 AM UTC
All energy comes from the same well
every whim wrought
whims not
while sitting on a fiery throne
or cast out onto frosted stone
buy or sell
It's drawn from the same well
loss
gain
pleasure
pain
close your eyes
what color is it?
Aug 9, 2020
Aug 9, 2020 at 1:14 PM UTC
Are we really in complete, control of our heart?
What about natural selection?
True to its own necessities
its as inescapable as mica in marble
its influence uncoiling
throughout our everyday existence.
The emotional future decided by pheromones
by unconscious laws of pattern, form and complexity.
Decisions independent of what is fleeting and fashionable,
based on actions without social polish.
Natural selection in the age of lasers,
terrifying hierarchies of secret signals.
Layers of strangeness glinting and winking at us.
Chemical commands by tide of electrical impulse to warm the heart.
To end one love in favor of another.
The choosing of one heart over another,
as if, at my age, the situation demanded such sacrifice.
To refocus the heart like the skipping of a pebble
from one spot to another. Self inflicted sabotage.. dreadful gamble..
Jul 1, 2020
Jul 1, 2020 at 11:07 AM UTC
Standing right behind me,
Just out of view.
In direct sunlight,
I cast a shadow of you.
I draw you back under my feet.
Where I can't see you.
Feb 17, 2020
Feb 17, 2020 at 4:38 PM UTC
the four walls are frowning and closing in on me
the doors are all knocking on my head for a change
all the eyes in this room are piercing into me
everything and everyone
they're all counting on me
but i'm just a little tired
i want to lay down for a while
this is good, it's fine
the floor is nice and cold
so is the darkness
that has enveloped my sight
Nov 15, 2019
Nov 15, 2019 at 11:01 AM UTC
Brain, brain go away
Don't want to listen one more day
Already lonely and afraid
Feel insecure and full of shame
Brain, brain don't act this way
You're always angry; Filled with hate
You know we're joined; Can't separate
Yourself your punching in the face
Brain, brain what can I say
To make it so you see things straight
Don't know how much more I can take
Of constant warring and debate
Brain, brain it's getting late
This journey's not some endless race
Life's flying by and at this pace
Forget a win; Not gonna place
Brain, brain let's medicate
I'll feed you drugs and we'll sedate
The only way to mitigate
Discrepancies we generate
Brain, brain we sadly waste
This outcome feels like it was fate
But never was there a sealed date
Fulfilling what we self-create
Brain, brain so much we faced
Success so close could almost taste
Instead our tail we always chased
We'll die alone sad and disgraced
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 9:48 AM UTC
even sleep no longer provides relief
once a safe haven
from the restless, overactive
thoughts that never
subside
vivid
real
increasingly nightmarish
realism interspersed with subconscious fears
the clever subtlety of imagination
thoroughly intertwined, entangled
veiling the dubious line
no longer distinguishable
between reality?
dreamscape?
awake? or simply a false awakening?
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 10:03 AM UTC
There is a cave
Within a cliff
Beside a great waterway
And I don't know
That it exists
How the ocean moves and carves it's way
Without me watching it every day
How the caves of mind turn ever in
In their unexplored and unannounced way
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 2:57 PM UTC