#trivialself
In the crazy busyness of the day
where electric sounds suffuse,
even a little chat is often a freeway
of words and noise.
And in the midst, he tells me
“Just be yourself.”
There I am
in the small space of silence
being undone
with nothing to say
while I wonder
what self.
A friend tells me they’re getting a divorce.
The doctor says the tests are positive.
I watch: the surge of floods taking homes and lives
or images of smoke and debris right after a bombing.
After a real serious play or movie.
In the waiting room after I hear she is going to die.
In those lonely tiny spaces
of darkness
I cannot speak.
In those aftermath moments
I am silenced.
How do I react
to being out of control
or make these things normal
or fit them into my routine ways of being me?
Silence asserts itself
like a wild animal
I cannot tame.
At these intervals
of being powerless
I hope I do not miss the chance
to humbly bow
in silence
and embrace my humanity
and smallness
in the cosmos
where it is utterly trivial
to just be my self.
Aug 30, 2018
Aug 30, 2018 at 9:36 AM UTC