#traumaresponse
Just when everything was pieced back together, it explodes.
Gears and pulleys no longer function as they should.
No respect, or decency for an abused harborer of blood.
Each time stripped and pulled apart.
Restructured with stitches of lies and broken promises.
Cracked open by the unworthy.
Tainted by ***** hands, and chipped blackened finger nails.
Cut and infected, poisoned and bruised.
Stupid thing.
Crying "love me, love me!" over again.
**** it learn!
No longer make yourself out of soft, breakable, easily torn.
Instead surround with metal and iron.
Impenetrable.
Make it so.
I blame you.
I will stitch your mouth shut with iron thread.
I will make it so that you beat only to live a little longer.
I will stop listening, I will no longer allow you to have a say.
You will become nothing to me.
I am sending you to the basement, I am taking all feelings away.
You will no longer roam free.
You will become my unspoken shame.
You will be the secret that I keep.
No one will come to know you.
No one will ever see you again.
You cease to exist this very day.
I will not feed you, I will allow you to die.
I will chain you up and watch you wither away.
You don't deserve to live for what you have done to me.
I trusted you to many times and now you must pay.
I lock you up.
I bury you deep.
The only link you have to me is the blood you pump through my veins.
I owe you nothing.
From this day forward you are dead to me.
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 5:48 AM UTC
Sometimes I feel this tugging at my heart.
It's weird cause I haven't felt anything in a while.
I hate that tugging.
I know it's trying to revive itself,
but I don't want it to.
Whenever I come across a memory
It jumps,
as if its trying to say
"Remember? Remember?"
I lie and tell it
"No, now shut up."
It's just better if it remains silent.
Of course it doesn't get that
Nope there it is
Jumping.
Tugging.
Can't you see I am lifeless?
Of course not
the heart doesn't have eyes
Unfortunately.
Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013 at 7:32 PM UTC
like a car crash,
explosions fill
my head
emotional wreckage—
thoughts tangled
in dread
am i the problem?
or are they
projecting
instead?
i let go
of the wheel
just to
feel something—
go off the rails,
’cause sanity
feels surreal.
am i the problem?
or just
trapped in
my head?
because dealing
with this
is harder
than i ever
imagined.
Jun 13, 2025
Jun 13, 2025 at 2:01 PM UTC
Snap back to reality,
Snapping out of it
Breath in
Breath out
You're not alone with it
Let's conquer
Let's wake up
Let's become
Present again,
I know we're capable,
I will support you till the very end.
I love you.
Mar 28, 2025
Mar 28, 2025 at 8:24 PM UTC
One simple thought
Igniting a wildfire
One match that turns
A whole world upside down
We can pretend that it's not there
It will burn deeper
Cause it doesn't care
A domino effect
That's hard to stop
It's a blind spot
No way to grasp it,
Change it,
Make it disappear...
The more we fight,
The stronger it'll persevere,
The more alive it is,
Contagious pain
And identification
Will keep on breaking trust
And sending us
Into a black hole
Of intoxication.
Jan 29, 2025
Jan 29, 2025 at 7:37 PM UTC
*
Forgiving doesn't always take away the pain
As if washed away by some mythical rain
Generously applied truth is the only salve
Duel-edged and sharp enough to cut us in half
Pain-reaction, recoil, trauma response
Defensive action, budding trust is lost
This is normal human behavior
PTSD drains, Hope is savior
Catalyst for anxious dread
Water in the desert when nearly dead
Grateful hands lift life to lip
Thankful for the sandiest sip
Kindness inspires compassion and understanding starts
Enlightening dark corners in sunlight and healing the heart
*
May 22, 2021
May 22, 2021 at 4:46 PM UTC