#trama
You don’t know the trouble
I get in
Because you don’t seem to care
You didn’t cry when peanut died
Because you couldn’t care enough
You don’t ask my opinion on things
Because you don’t care about me
Why do you yell at everything I do
Why is everything wrong in your eyes
What pain have you gone through
To not care
Why can’t you care
Mar 24
Mar 24, 2026 at 7:50 PM UTC
looking at the door
there's blood everywhere
i'm bleeding everywhere
all my cuts are open
the door is calling
walk to the door they say
so i do
it moves away i tried again but i can't
all the time it moves
i run after the door
it stops i try to open it
but i need a key
i can't find the key...
Jan 14
Jan 14, 2026 at 2:24 PM UTC
How do I explain that I smile but have a sad soul? That I'm both brave and shy. That I keep most things to myself but when I decide to let my walls down mu ugliness is too much and uncalculated; just raw and painful. The strength and grace i give to others I can't give to myself because I don't have the training. Quietly, self-soothing but then my insides need help getting back to solid. How do you walk head up, heart strong but silence can break you all at once. They say, "life doesn't happen to you but for you. I don't understand. If your mind is powerful why does mine play tricks on me.
Tell me... how do I need people but then feel ashamed I burden them with unhealed pain. That I don't want them to leave me but love me unconditionally even when I don't love myself. When does my soul match my smile? Tell me how to wipe the invisible tears while trying to stop the uncontrollable ones.
Nov 12, 2025
Nov 12, 2025 at 9:44 PM UTC
HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO SMILE?
WAS MY FIRST THOUHT
NOW I KNOW HOW HARD IT CAN BE TO SMILE
TO HIDE THE TEARS IN YOUR EYES...
Dec 16, 2023
Dec 16, 2023 at 7:57 AM UTC
take your fingers
and run them through my brain
pull out a strand
try not to get your beautiful skin
caught of the knives of the past
May 14, 2019
May 14, 2019 at 7:38 AM UTC
Looking into your eyes
I see your burdens and cries
So cold like the moon
Trying to hide in your cocoon
Looking into your eyes
I see behind your lies
In the dark moonlight
You're drained of your might
Looking into your eyes
I feel you agonize
I see so many cracks
You can't hide behind acts
Looking into your eyes
Emotionally paralyzed
No one can recognize
Hiding behind a disguise
Life full of lies
No wisdom from the wise
Can no longer harmonize
Wanting to eulogize
Can't hide what's behind my eyes
Nov 27, 2018
Nov 27, 2018 at 12:25 AM UTC
Sometimes I cry
I don't know why
I feel so different inside
I don't know why
I feel alone
I don't know why
I speak but no one listens
I don't know why
I want to love but I can't feel it
I don't know why
I feel so dead
I don't know why
I am so confused
I don't know why
I want to die
I don't know why
I think of my problems
I try to cry
Tears won't come out
And still...
I don't know why
Oct 9, 2018
Oct 9, 2018 at 10:58 AM UTC
"No one likes you"
Ow, that hurt
Who knew words could hurt so much
"You're so annoying"
Wait! I just wanted you to like me
I wish there was someone just like me
"I love you son"
Mom, please love me more
Cause the hurtin' they did on me left me sore
"You're so stupid"
I know I am, which is why I act so smart
Don't you know, being fake is an art
"Paul, I love and care for you"
Words I heard in my head
Wish they were real
Is there a person that can make me feel?
Or maybe the pain will never heal
Oct 9, 2018
Oct 9, 2018 at 10:56 AM UTC
What happened to your smile?
I'm feeling depressed
Can you stay a while?
I am not impressed
I must confess
I can't find a quest
I am not the best
I can't past the test
I am f*cking stressed
I can't get bed rest
You, I do detest
Is it God's mental test?
Am I just second best?
My love so suppressed
My love so unexpressed
I feel so dispossessed
I want to disconnect
I have so much regret
Can't get a day of rest
I am so depressed
Oct 9, 2018
Oct 9, 2018 at 10:40 AM UTC
I am
Utterly
Petrified
To open the graves
Of my past hidden in
The deepest part of my being.
For I
Am
Petrified
Once they are out
I won’t be able to rebury
Them before they consume me.
I am
Utterly
Petrified
To release the words
Of which have become rusted
Barbed wire imbedded in my throat.
For I
Am
Petrified
During their release
I will find those words have
Sewn themselves into my tattered soul.
I am
Utterly
Sure
I will not survive
The verbal barbed wire
Demolishing me on its way to freedom.
-ARI
May 15, 2016
May 15, 2016 at 4:53 PM UTC