#totga
the one
whom you prayed for
the one
whom your heart longs for
the one
whom your mind speaks
the one
whom you want to spend the rest of your life with
the one
whom you will choose everyday
if given the chance
again
May 8, 2020
May 8, 2020 at 12:07 AM UTC
I gave up on you a long time ago,
I gave up on the idea of us,
but here you are sending me hellos,
aren't you living with the person whom you chose?
or you're having regrets with your choice?
or maybe you're just bored?
Let me move on....
I've already let you go.....
May 3, 2020
May 3, 2020 at 6:18 AM UTC
you were that certain coffee that i couldn’t resist
that smell i swear i’m addicted to
you were a sin that i was always ready to commit
i’m a sinner, you’re all the crucials
vicious things i’m going to do
i’m the holy person, who became the devil
in denial of facts that satisfied me
and when i wake up in the morning
i keep grasping for air
because i know you’re just a dream i’m chasing
it’s hard everyday you’d be here
then the other you’d be gone
i don’t know when or how long
should i wait, i said i’ve moved on
but no, i still lose self control
everything still becomes a temptation
when it comes to you
every nerve on my body shivers
i tried to forget you
with all these alcohol, pills, and boys
that i’ve played with
but nothing was the best like you
you’re the reason why love is sweet
and why love is a bitter misfortune
you’ve locked me with forever
and left me like i was dust
thank you for the scar
forever in love with you
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019 at 8:17 PM UTC
And there are nights when
the weight of missing you
sits on my chest,
so I come out and
look at the dull, blue skylines
and I believe —
I believe that
in a world similar to ours,
we’ll always have the star-mapped skies
and the backseat cuddles
and wallpapers graffitied with our names.
We’ll always have shopping at 4 am
and those strawberry flavored kisses
and each other’s erratic heartbeats
syncing amid horror movies.
And in that world, we’ll always have
summer plans
and library dates
and chess games and black coffees
in the middle of a thunderstorm.
And in that world,
we’ll always have
the paper plane letters
and the eye contacts
and the ‘goodnight, i love you’s
and each other, darling,
and everything else
we lost in this one.
Jun 22, 2019
Jun 22, 2019 at 8:56 AM UTC
One day, I'll see you standing
there at the altar; to me, you'll be facing.
It's not just any ordinary day,
my wedding vow I will say;
looking at you, facing to my side,
"You may now kiss the bride."
Happily you said.
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 12:04 PM UTC
A pinch in the heart
An almost torn apart
There's not even a start
Yet it ended so smart.
Oct 20, 2018
Oct 20, 2018 at 4:29 AM UTC
You painted my world with words
Words of happiness, love, heartaches
Words of heartaches, pain, tears
An art of nothingness and of played hearts
An almost art turned into ashes
Ashes turned into nothing
Nothing into a nonexistent word
If only that word bloomed into life
Maybe our story could have been printed
Somehow I hoped it would last
But it didn't even had a chance to start
And there are poems I made for you
Yet because of you
I wish this will be the last
You've always made me feel important
I never learned anything at all
'Cause like a star that became a black hole
I felt sorry for myself
I became an empty space
I am sorry
For I loved you... on my own
I know I still do
But this madness has to end
I shouldn't be involved with you anymore
You who carelessly handled my heart
Made me feel like a Prada on sale;
Without a second thought, you pushed me away
Guarding your own heart but mine.
For always being there for you,
For making you feel special,
For being so annoying and frustrating,
For wanting to be with you always,
For starting those conversations,
For the late night texts I put you through,
I am sorry.
For singing you a lullaby at night,
For loving your voice over the phone,
For loving you;
For loving you more than I love myself,
For my eyes now filled with sadness,
I am so sorry for myself.
This is the last time I'll write about you.
This is the last piece I've ever written for you.
Oct 20, 2018
Oct 20, 2018 at 4:26 AM UTC
To the person I love,
I'm writing this with all my heart,
You made me happy,
You made me cry,
I'm sorry, I tried.
I'm sorry, I lied.
I love you, I really do.
I'm sorry I have to leave you
even if I dont want to,
I wish I could stay,
but I know soon, you will be okay.
pls let me be the one that got away.
By then, I will leave this world,
Selfish and UNCURED.
Sep 13, 2018
Sep 13, 2018 at 10:18 AM UTC
My mind wanders,
Still, he is in it.
My heart race faster,
His name is shouted
Beat by beat
And just like any other nights
I am missing him, still.
When morning comes,
He is the kind of hope
I wanna steal.
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 31, 2018 at 10:12 AM UTC
He once kissed me on my forehead,
A kiss that I know won't last.
He once held my waist when he tightly hugged me,
The best feeling yet he loosened me so fast.
Unmutual feelings filled the empty room,
He was staring right into my brown eyes.
T'was a birth of chance yet also a doom,
My heart is in agony and it cries.
I should have never hope for more,
But it was everything I asked before.
Yet, I hold on and I am sorry if I did,
Even though I know it was the kind of love
That the moon will never forbid.
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 18, 2018 at 7:37 PM UTC
a distance of light year
and a havoc of universe
our worlds are asymptotes
with a bit of formula
but how could we become parallel
maybe it's just myself
or things are meant to be that way
the reason is unfathomable
if it's me
**** me with your words
for i am worthless of your love
and your euphoric existence
if it makes you happy
leave me with a smile
'lets meet at the universe' tell me
and i'll wait for you to come
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 5:00 AM UTC
I thought you were the one
that i would spend my whole life with
I thought you'll give
the same amount of love i did.
I am more that willing
to give you my everything,
but you chose to ignore me
when you're all i see.
I even felt the need to move on
from something that doesn't even turned on,
i thought i won't ever move forward
because you've been pulling me backwards.
But despite of all the tears,
thank you for letting me pass through my fears.
Thank you for not choosing me,
when i only have my eyes on you.
For all the mixed signals you gave me,
making me think that you'll love me too.
Thank you for making me realize that you not choosing me,
is the start of me choosing myself.
Thank you because i am finally free,
from someone who won't even look at me.
I am now finally happy,
i found someone who wont doubt on choosing me.
Thank you also, for realizing,
that i will always be your 'The one that got away'.
Jul 26, 2017
Jul 26, 2017 at 2:11 PM UTC
You smelled like bourbon today.
I still long for the old musky scent,
Your neck used to reek of each day.
Your skin felt oddly smooth today.
Gone was the funny stubble,
That pricked my tired face each day.
Your eyes glows a subtle shade of emerald today.
How I miss the hazel pair,
You used to look me at each day.
With you grabbing my wrist
and I, spilling my wine.
With you kissing my cheek
and I, letting out a little sigh.
In those moments I realize
He’s not you, but you are mine.
May 5, 2017
May 5, 2017 at 6:45 PM UTC