#todaysdate
mindfulness on nature's needles
see the sky's brightness turned to max over hand prints
planned trips of impromptu gladness exceeds all
of every expectations, I breathe tall
I feel small, but content
the world's beauty just will never relent
it is my perception that ebbs and flows
my imperfections that make me glow
and my intentions that seem to go
in all directions connected expressions
I feel the calm of love and acception
within is lifted, the self-oppression
I'm blissed out this yoga session
Jul 31, 2019
Jul 31, 2019 at 10:24 PM UTC
sitting in sun past locked windowed doors
wrist tendon tensioned from trying tagging for the first time
sometimes it pulls at my sleeve and i cannot predict when it will be, but at least it doesnt drag me like it used to
merely quietly suggesting to tentatively assume that it is true -
and i feel it striking down, rolling over skin, curling at the edge
but i will not give in
Jul 31, 2023
Jul 31, 2023 at 1:30 AM UTC
scintillated leaves
a cold piano sits
separated lights glinting over black
organic liquid crystal
made of melted sleep
silk screen politics
upheaval and sink
Oct 22, 2023
Oct 22, 2023 at 10:49 PM UTC
patience demanded now
it couldve been worse but i wasnt sure -
looking, and my thoughts are not current
and im sorry and im scared and is it worth it
unsatiated crown
cutting off, its all i know
the only thing i can control
and i worry and i falter
because all thats in my palms are stones
Jul 31, 2023
Jul 31, 2023 at 1:28 AM UTC
thirty minute play time
sixty hour scroll
fifteen times of homework
and seventy to toll
finger on a screen
lines of all thats in
shapes that have been seen
speaks of what has been
a notebook closed on table
hunched back over the board
bringing grapefruit abled
cracked knuckles to the core
touch and sense and good
twice upon the body
water held in stood
two thirds of the laundry
music in my follicles
art inside my pores
theres feeling in my eyelids
emotions in my joints
and most of every single thing there is
the thought of it conjoined
Jun 5, 2022
Jun 5, 2022 at 1:54 AM UTC
integrals of goldfish and scrollin
significantly easier than expected
bracelets and blocks and rockets
from breakin a hundred
short drive the hill that rarely took
bowl of quinoa and another of pudding
just like the cups on the table of atla
waiting whistling losing air in digital pacing
it was four minutes after
one down and just to two
once again im wonderin but this time i know that its not true
cutting ice with knives and gliding with lemons
bodyprox'd knees and coworkers girlfriends
gargoyling fountains and relacing skates
i wouldnt much mind getting used to this
its dark and its late and you asked me what sort of changes id been thru
the second that ive ever told to
the first stop was closed but the next one was perfect
yoyo slingin in the parking lot
with rippled notes blastin tunes
reference typin effect affect i love you
Apr 16, 2023
Apr 16, 2023 at 2:51 PM UTC
black blanketed empty ice
i didnt want to bring it
i didnt feel the pull the push the desire the bone-burning fire
i think i might be losing what it meant what i felt what i dreamt
grieving on pine needle floors
"TO DECIDE"
is it even up to me anymore
"everything that i want
i now have to give up
because it seems appropriate"
(appropriating portions that you punctuate)
if abdication is required well then so be it
or at least that is the manner that i will depict
as i realize the extent to which i fluctuate
spotted in tears parallel to peers
for the impact is unimaginable
intangible ungrounded unfounded unmanageable
i stand in the back row, watching the casket sink lower
im never sure whos inside
whats divine when theres nothing alive
to what capacity will the constraining factor maintain
incapable, an electric field of rage, inescapable
a negatively charged invertebrate ablaze
as if i ever had a chance against the flames
yellow crosswalk indicators underneath my shoes
sillhouetted familiarity by the garden ledge
and instead, wiping away water, stopping for the view
six identical plates, twelve identical more
will i wont i, pushed aside
deciding that right now i will be fine
six identical breaks, twelve identical torn
this future does not carry over
perhaps it is that i will be declined denied reimagined revived
i will never be ready for anything old for anything new
not even clouds in windows in lines
i miss you i miss you i miss -
well
i miss what i used to think of you
but standing in that row
did you hear what i had whispered
a candle lit dinner in tandem to splinters
for some time
sitting alone at the table
inside of my mind
would i even if i was able
did you notice
did you falter
are you stable
the stone had a name like mine
Apr 29, 2024
Apr 29, 2024 at 11:08 AM UTC
cloudy early brightly walking
auto pilot busing
an extra hour of penciled words
just for your entrusting
trigun sketches life drawn messes
another joined us later
and when the photos posted
he was clearly there and on the table in the conversation causing laughter blushing i was not expecting because now you know
but then at one, another ride
a couple window hours
yet again an extra time a walk sublime
the flowers were in blossom
cherry petal soles to your aunt and uncles home
a pink abode above a pretty road
a most beautiful smile just beyond the door
oh how i missed you
talk of alcohol and crushes/ down the block and such this is/ so wonderful i love you, club or tonic i dont know the difference
dicing garlic in the kitchen
noodles cooking bread baking i tried white wine for the first time
(it was not particularly good)
but i drank it and i love you, watching tv on the couch
the little man that mr chicken he is just a little guy
a darling baby boy a chunky kitten
makes me think to past and how it felt in the backseat of the hospital parking lot i miss him
long hugs by the sink, a purple face cloth to my hands
a day that is so beautiful
my love, the heart expands
Apr 16, 2023
Apr 16, 2023 at 2:53 PM UTC
early morning heavy bag with nothing else but hopeful
they said theyd be there soon
you say youll be there later
catan at engineering noon
was bittersweet flavored
water in the kettle
barely touched the mech on the table
last day tears in the after shelter mental
i was in the ceramics studio when you arrived when it all came together
rivers of slip and clay and dip and dip and swing
keeping printing lately squinting
we helped to bring the paper
you disappeared concerning feared
but just for shoes in your backseat
sparkled nails on the church's floor
behind the curtain essay typin
ping pong flyin wild story improv timin
next to those shoes scrollin and the topic was ace
so i dont know if its my place
but
as we left the lack of open doors was odd/
so then came back to the front lawn of god to give you a plastic bag of support
keepin rapport in some way of some sort
gracious hospitality that it wasnt raining
though when we were waiting there were trains and there was dogs/
but soon hes gone and hugged and loved
and now im in the front seat;
and then im in the drivers.
back window fogged, behind the wheel with you beside me reel and keel my necks still sore two days later just like my brain that needs a stapler
because i couldnt look at you
im scared of being fake but then/
music's meant to sing
i went to bed at 1 am
i dont regret a thing
Apr 16, 2023
Apr 16, 2023 at 2:48 PM UTC
ah.
its been a minute
been around the block with my train ticket
travelin wicked fast with it in my hand missin all the scenery but bland cause it
not much
train dont stop for no **** but its your choice to go sit
to stay put and know this that you can jump ship
itll
keep you in hold you down whisk you away
make you forget why you just woke up today
just chuggin along takin its time but speeding for fun
got you rugged but calm, just restin in some methodical thoughts it could sweep you in routines hypnotic youll not
remember the windows again hear yourself in your head but instead coast through life leaving living on read
you gotta
open the door
lean out feel the wind but keep it open for sure
the grounds whippin by but youll be just fine one step more tuck n roll,
breathe.
Dec 7, 2022
Dec 7, 2022 at 4:44 AM UTC
there was a heron in the sky when i crossed the street this morning. ive never seen a heron so far from water, so far from home. i watched it gently, despite the people walking. i dont always break the unspoken in this manner, and although ive been more often lately, it still is not consistent, and so feels notable in this instance. of course there you were when you werent and lasting considerably though considering what is normal to me this was not notable.
but a heron was flying when i got off the bus today.
i felt as rested as ten with completed checks yet really i was running on a miracle three with more boxes than i could carry with my hurting wrist and hurting knees -
dear god,
will you hold me so softly with mercy in your palms,
will you tell me so delicately what you mean when you speak,
will you set me so lovingly to the floor when you must let me down,
for there will come the time for me to die.
at six fifty pm they turn off all the lights. and down the block sitting at the stop, at last a moment to catch up, and that is when i saw the second one that day.
dear heron,
will you fly again so starkly with your ever fervent beauty,
will you seek me out so blatantly though subtle as you have been guided,
will you return so frequently further, but not so much you disappear,
for i would love a heron to fly when my time has come to pass.
holding you feels like an inevitable. intangible yet legible. i dont check the clock when im waiting for the bus. it will arrive when it does and when it does i will get on it.
i saw two herons on tower street today.
Apr 29, 2024
Apr 29, 2024 at 11:06 AM UTC
the hands have turned in several circles
and here I am at last
my head between the leveled curtains
behind me, left for past
the future veiled by pleats drawn
undone a twisted cord from imagination
I see a lonely boy growing old
in cubicles and grocery stores
condemnation of pc screens
drifted words become
the only voice stony cold
I see a lonely girl growing old
in tiny houses with empty rooms
and a stuffed closet with nothing used
whipped stirred and done
the bony choice joking folds
a lonely person growing old
tears will well, in weeping fell
but clear eyes see fear lies
because of course beyond the curtains
nothing's forced and nothing's certain
thus all could be reality
it's mostly knowing keeping bold
just wait and see what's next for me
I won't be lonely growing old
Jun 23, 2019
Jun 23, 2019 at 12:33 AM UTC
we established rules what you think you doin
thought we had a deal man
why you go and ***** it
once upon a time
we had a good thing
but bro you makin sad decisions
it's completely maddening
I was havin lots of fun
and it seemed like you were too
but then ya just had to
go and break the rules
that really made me mad and now youre gonna feel my wrath
cause that's just how it goes when you biff it bad in minecraft
Jun 7, 2019
Jun 7, 2019 at 1:42 AM UTC
nearly noon oclock at night
phone screen poetry on a shared queen bed
the kitty woke me up this morning
his sweet little paws so gently said hello
a fistful of minutes and my toes touch the floor
i never understand the fridges of anothers home
but eggs are in the pan and pancake battered bowl
red room breakfast, black tea in the car
water on the ground sleeping soundly
cash back in the pocket
it was perfect pacin walkin
upstairs adventure with a basket of snacks
you called at just the right time for that strawberry milk pack
dorm couch poetry next to different angled conversations my world in rotation everything falling into place i dont know how to convey to you the magnitude but holy ******* **** i love my friends god ****
driving down the [] trail to ikea
cs backup in the backseat lackin sleep stacked up
parkin lot food keepin stats up
as the five hour campaign begins as it seems itll last us
why the ***** was it so hot in there
two weeks later and ive finally found a bathroom
(now i understand the scps and backrooms)
cleaning closed to women so its great that im a man or at least enough to take the handle still on brand but -
ive come to see things so unlike the way i have before a total norm to have the room with another human being it doesnt bother me at all in fact it feels natural sharing walls ive never been there on my own like that before -
such exhilaration from a stall inside a store and everything has changed,
Everything has Changed.
(fading bruises blue i never thought id heal in truth)
but actually outside of me every little thing has stayed the same -
and it is my lungs that have been shifted since the air that i am breathing is not different its just never like i used to
weird *** food court and a homework champ
bluetooth music with your mandatory lamp
hurtling down the aisles in a flatbed cart/
clambering the scaffolding
hampering the staff it seems
i say this dearly but you three quite sincerely
have a chokehold on my heart
ive never tried konjak jelly and ive never heard cherry wine but boy i cannot wait for these to be the first of a long string of things, immerse me in your lives submerged and intertwined i want to love you guys for a long long long ******* time
May 8, 2023
May 8, 2023 at 12:11 AM UTC
sitting next to me she pointed to the keychain - smiling with a stranger like giggling at recess, how lucky, how lucky
the sky was not there when i went to the courtyard but instead a new set of stairs to a new set of bricks and cold quesadillas
i always thought loitering meant staying the night but i promise to tarry forever, how lucky, how lucky, i shouldt say such things i know, but how hard to resist when i hear someone on the other side on the other pane of glass, oh how lucky, how lucky, i look forward
Nov 25, 2024
Nov 25, 2024 at 2:53 PM UTC
Very distracting kind of abstract
Cardboard laundry hamper box filled with soiled time
Wash your clocks and clean its hands
Lord knows how often seconds wipe smiles from faces
How unsanitary, which I can't stand
But yet, the crumples of crinkled sheets cast aside
Though should reside in washer's spinning bowl
In actuality slumps glumly on my floor truly self extolled
How will I ever do on my own, after leaving from home
I'll be alone and hungry and ****** nothing but skin and bone
Anyway
It's time I just get those sheets washed
May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 1:43 AM UTC
coming fast and about to hit
speed of light but even quicker
dissociated limbs that quit
a losing battle a quiet whimper
iced up feet in sheets of liquor
falling heads with IV drippers
crippled bones and blood made thicker
atrocious ripper zipped but flickered
wicker tricks grip wits of fleeting trips
grow weaker writhing trickled sick
Nov 11, 2021
Nov 11, 2021 at 12:49 AM UTC
potted paints in tins
glass water bottled dipped with brush's tip
crouched at a baby table back hurting knees hurting hand hurting head hurting
this is art
watercolored spit is this enough for you
of course not
another cake but without cream
my tooth lethal leveled sweet
didn't even read
fine print in the footer
of birth certificate
"may contain mentally sick"
I'll die of too much sugar
if not first by bullet to the head or any particular sharp edge
this house takes anger and consumes it straight
presumes hate
don't touch me
I don't feel safe with my roommates
Apr 15, 2019
Apr 15, 2019 at 2:11 AM UTC
ashes on a dresser's top
a candle lit for one
a deck of suns and split are some
stopped in small hands lost
a single boy fell to the floor
the messenger brings news
for few is it a story through
for most worn cards are torn
Aug 8, 2019
Aug 8, 2019 at 5:39 PM UTC
you're the one who wanted the sale
yet you anguish over axles and hands
today or tomorrow or never bother and borrow
exhale frustration and stale anger for patience
may compassion expand despite demand
Aug 24, 2019
Aug 24, 2019 at 10:14 PM UTC
stir fry rice in the black skillet pan
stove top breakfast but not enough time
blueberry coffee cake in room seventeen
outdoor windstorm inner demon fling
pride and accomplishment but sorrow as well
what if it's all down hill from now
best performance in practice compelled
what if that was the best I'll ever tell
what if the slam isn't great isn't perfect
wait
breathe
don't negatively dwell
feet wide, chest out, clenched fists, inner yell
power pose and your sound will grow
in this case
your sound of existence
may you ever be persistent
in working for your dreams
next on agenda, signature forgeries
for a cause of course no cons
light theft earlier today
held the door and stacked chairs
rules broken my way
skip to offer therapy, support, care
make you feel understood
I like to think that I'm chaotic good
Apr 11, 2019
Apr 11, 2019 at 2:15 AM UTC
my head's a hollow jar
made of fragile glass
careful not to break
into a hundred shards
my eyes are made of cork
but very poorly so
as everything leaks out
puddles on the floor
May 4, 2019
May 4, 2019 at 12:15 AM UTC
awoken missed calls
to another eight hour stand
body pain and mental strain
say it's needed and
call this really living
call it present call it future
call it time forever further
Mar 8, 2023
Mar 8, 2023 at 4:16 AM UTC
seventy percent is needles in my head, bed sheets clean but not made yet
seventy percent is baby park pride, neighborhood rummage sales and mountain bike rides
seventy percent is school computer games, new DS names, broken back maimed
seventy percent is everything I did today except for homework
why'd you have to make it seventy percent
if it were less then maybe I would put forth
but it just feels impossible and efforts will be worthless
seventy percent is something bound to fail
seventy percent of my grade 'bout to derail
Jun 2, 2019
Jun 2, 2019 at 1:34 AM UTC
three hours later at the nine and followed forty
(where did you go from the four)
slandered rocks he left on bricks before a bus of bad memories came to knock me down
straight into the ground I thought it might just drive me to the mantle
molten rock to cool my temper after living below finger pads and being trampled
how could I have run when simply stunned I nearly tripped
over my own tongue
I need to close my mouth
but here I am too kind too cruel to ever say a word but to never stop a sentence what kind of speech is my own
I've never heard it real so to speak you see at least thats how it feels
ask me again tomorrow and I'll say I've felt it true and that I know myself exactly who
and yet
across the bench is you
I'm tired I'm drained I'll completely explain
why I do not like you--
if only you'd sign this form of consent to never sue me over words I may have maybe said
except those are never read just signed in blinded ink instead
so really what's the use just take the helmet off my head
(don't be silly, as if I ever had it really)
he's got his heart on his shoulder but I'm not sure
if there's another in his throat
another one to dread
I hope to find proof yet hope's all I can do
for better or for worse or left for simply dead
I cannot seem to tell good liars what's the truth
May 30, 2019
May 30, 2019 at 2:55 AM UTC