#timelapse
I pretend I don't know why I take you.
But really,
I like to chronicle my days, my moods, my looks.
Did I put makeup on that day?
Was I tired?
Was I happy? Smiling?
Forcing a smile?
Using a filter?
The truth is written all over my face,
if you know where to look.
Nov 18, 2018
Nov 18, 2018 at 11:39 AM UTC
Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. [Katherine] is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording, you may hang up, or press "1" for more options. [Beep]
Katherine, please, pick up the phone. I'm sorry that I keep calling, I know you probably don't wanna talk to me, but please answer. I can't just sit on the sidelines anymore. I haven't seen you smile in weeks, and some days, I don't even see you. I can't approach you without you turning and walking away quickly. You're isolating yourself, and I'm really worried. Please, answer my calls, please talk to-
Are you still there? To end your message, press "1." To continue recording, press "2." To hear more- [Beep]
At the tone, please continue your message. [Beep]
Everyone's talking about it. I've seen posts on the internet, heard people gossiping about it, even the teachers have brought you up. It has felt wrong not having you around, not seeing you doodling in your notebook during class, or walking down the nature paths admiring the trees. Everyone else doesn't seem to feel the same way I do. They know, but they don't seem to care. Maybe that's what made you think that nobody cared.
God, I miss you so-
You will be disconnected in thirty seconds. [Beep]
The funeral was today. I was one of the few from our school who actually came. I tried to give your family my condolences, and I started to choke when your mother began to cry. God, the whole thing was hard; hearing family members tell stories, seeing you lay there motionless. I was happy they put you in a long sleeved dress. I didn't want everyone to see that part of you; not that it matters much, because everyone knows that is how you died.
Everyone left an hour ago. I've been sitting by your tombstone watching the sun fall into the ground. I keep hoping that you are somehow hearing these messages, that you'll call me back any minute. I'm not sure how the cell service is six feet underground, but I'm still hoping. I'll always be hoping. People will be moving on, but all I can do is choke on my words and I yell into a dead girls voice mail.
I'm sorry, Katherine. I'm so so-
You will now be disconnected. Goodbye. [Beep Beep Beep]
...
I'm sorry. This number is disconnected, or no longer in service. Goodbye. [Beep Beep Beep]
Apr 22, 2017
Apr 22, 2017 at 8:07 PM UTC
8p.m. It's 8pm and I'm falling too hard for your best friend
9p.m. He broke my heart and now this is where we start
10p.m. I am head over heels for you while you're mindlessly stumbling
11p.m. You're walking just fine and I'm on the side of the road in the mud
12a.m. You finally made me realize my self worth, nothing
1a.m. I found a boy who's nice to me and makes me smile, but I just can't bring myself to stay
2a.m. I made some friends who are just as awful as you
3a.m. I drank until I couldn't feel the pain and made out with a boy who tasted like your cigarettes
4a.m. I lost my friends who I thought were my everything
5a.m. I fell in love with a boy who had the sweetest smile, but he tied that rope too tight and he was gone, just like I wanted to be
6a.m. It's time to wake up, and realize my worth. I'm with a boy who loves me and makes me feel wanted everyday
3a.m. It's 3a.m. and I still miss you like hell
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 12:39 AM UTC
5 pm
I want comfort
6 pm
I found misery instead.
7 pm
I want to slit my throat,
8 pm
I think I've lost my head.
9 pm
I seek destruction,
10 pm
Please put me on my deathbed.
11 pm
I only breathe,
12 pm
You might as well consider me dead.
Apr 13, 2014
Apr 13, 2014 at 5:43 PM UTC