#therealdonaldtrump
What? No Dogs! NO first dog?
But all POTUSes had at least one of our best friends.
No Champ, or Major, no Commander.
He says he'd, "feel phony" if he had a dog (children and spouses excluded)
Oh. Now I see.
"Man's Best Friend"
His best friend died in prison.
And can't be replaced.
No Dog. What kinda human is he?
In fact, I believe he hates Dogs.
"Shoot him like a dog." He said.
"Throw em out like dogs." He said.
"Treat em like a dog." He said.
"Lies like a dog." He said about his Teddy Boy.
"Cheated like a dog." He said about Kristen Stewart.
"Dumped like a dog." was Bannon.
"Choked like a dog." did Romney.
"Fired like a dog." was Omarosa.
"Died like a dog." did Abu
And in Springfield, they're "eating the dogs."
Hmmm. You see what I mean.
People who don't like dogs, or mistreat dogs,
(Like Kristi, who shot her dog),
Usually don't like PEOPLE.
Kash doesn't have a dog.
Pete doesn't have a dog.
Pam stole a St. Bernard.
And on, and on...
Our canine pals helped us evolve out of the caves...
(Ahhh... now I understand).
Bets Old Yeller is never banned.
Oct 3, 2025
Oct 3, 2025 at 7:43 AM UTC
Whose face resembles a slapped cantaloupe?
Whose face could curdle cream?
Whose face is in a class of eejits all by itself?
Whose face spews out more **** than his ****
Whose face resembles a boil in need of lancing?
Whose face would be left on shore cause the tide wouldn't take it out?
Whose face has a waddle waddling like Donald Duck?
Who?
Aug 8, 2024
Aug 8, 2024 at 8:31 AM UTC
Strange guests appear on Christmas Eve,
Entities, more real than seems;
And POTUS soon will get three visits,
From three well-known, transparent spirits,
That call as an unholy host.
Stormy, his first ghastly ghost,
Then Moscow Mitch to **** his boast;
But the ghost of Christmases to come,
Is New York's Vance; there's scary fun.
Dec 24, 2020
Dec 24, 2020 at 11:01 AM UTC
I'm a loser.
I'm a loser.
And I'm all that I appear to be.
Of all the foes I have won or have lost,
There is one foe I should never have crossed.
He tallied tons more than I did my friends,
I'll not admit that I lose in the end.
I'm a loser.
I'm a loser.
And I'm all that I appear to be.
They say I look and I act like a clown;
My skin runs orange when I have my meltdowns.
My fears of jail are too real and acute,
A real man would self-aim and then shoot.
I'm a loser,
And I'm not the president you see.
I'm a loser,
And I'm all that I appear to be.
All I have done is the cause of my fate;
I'm old, bald, and stably overweight.
And so it's true pride comes before the fall,
It's also true they won't finish my wall.
I'm a loser.
And I'm not the president you see.
I'm a loser,
And I'm all that I appear to be.
(harmonica and don fade out)
Nov 9, 2020
Nov 9, 2020 at 1:53 PM UTC
Our world is in a mess.
There is no denying.
I send money so people can help.
I love doing that.
There are wars.
People getting hurt on all sides of our polygon,
They're dying in all manner of ways.
I love the way people will fight for their convictions,
Fight till death if need be,
For FREEDOM, LIBERTY, HAPPINESS.
I love that.
I love people in detention for their beliefs,
Their faith, hope and determination.
I know what bog schools are, penal laws, Black and Tans.
(I also know about cages, Jim Crowe, and Proud Boys).
I love their tenacity. I love their lives. They matter.
I love their politics, their altruism; the really giving of oneself,
To serve one's nation. To truly love one's country.
For these reasons,
I love Sleepy Joe.
He gives so gracefully.
Sacrifices the remainder of his life for his country,
His people, His family.
I love how the Tyrant will collapse,
Feeling betrayed, mocked, humiliated, parodied,
Jeered at, ostracized for his megalomania.
A shower will never wash away the
Odor breathed among his consorts.
Brushing will not diminish the Trump taste, the rot in your mouth.
I love Aristotle's Poetics, The Wheel of Fortuna, The Great Chain of Being, and the cathartic effects of tragedy.
I Love Life.
Oct 31, 2020
Oct 31, 2020 at 11:10 AM UTC
"I'm the least racist person in the room,"
Presupposes
There are worse racists in the room.
Or,
I'm the only racist in the room.
Oct 24, 2020
Oct 24, 2020 at 6:16 PM UTC
To weaken him,
He sent the archangel Virus;
To muffle him,
He sent the St. Michael storms.
Aug 23, 2020
Aug 23, 2020 at 11:51 AM UTC
We love my mashed potatoes,
With butter on our plates;
But at the Trumpian table,
We'd eat from Donnie's pate.
Jul 31, 2020
Jul 31, 2020 at 7:55 AM UTC
If I was a bigot,
Or xenophobic,
Or prejudiced,
Or sexist,
Or racist,
Or even Evangelical,
I would argue
The Wrath of God
Has enveloped America,
Like a plague.
But I'm not, I'm a non-believer.
Jul 10, 2020
Jul 10, 2020 at 7:40 AM UTC
When the son-in-law
(who should remain nameless)
Is a clone
Of the father-in-law,
(whom should also remain nameless),
The son-in-law
Lies in an incestuous bed,
And the father-in-law
Gets a vicarious jump
On the wing
(the west one)
May 8, 2020
May 8, 2020 at 1:57 PM UTC
As in all Partici-Poems,
You're invited to add your own.
Based on Fake News and False Hope,
There's nothing here to help you cope.
Covid-19 is China's Beta version.
The real pandemic is yet to come.
They now have a one year head start.
They've proved they can isolate and destroy
Without leaving their country.
The Sleeping Giant has opened its eyes.
It's the Real Rich people's way of getting Really Richer.
It's a deal maker.
You're Hired.
It's all about Government Opportunity.
Remember Get Smart and the CONTROL Organization
For whom he worked.
If the shoe fits, GPS someone.
If we send young healthy Jimmy (who tested positive)
In to see all the Grandmas and Grandpas,
Think of the resources we'll free up.
Manipulate the markets.
Tell people Russia and the Saudis are friends.
But tell your family first.
Hydroxychloroquine
Not only will it cure you, but it promotes
Natural skin color, whether black, white, brown or orange.
This is supported by the WH Medical Dream Team.
It's a miracle. Deus ex machina.
Will also give you blue eyes and blonde hair.
And please use a clean syringe when injecting disinfectant.
SIEG HEIL
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 9, 2020 at 10:10 AM UTC
We know them best by their first names,
Names ingrained on our brains;
Mouthed by millions being slain,
By the viral ego of the politically inane.
Adolph, Idi, Kim and Pol,
Francisco, Mao and Nicol.
Other names have come and gone,
None rise so high, as Despot Don.
Tens of thousands die prematurely,
The man's bereft of human morality.
Preoccupied with re-election,
He risks a healthy population:
The aged, sick and compromised,
Won't cast a vote when they die.
The word is out throughout New York:
He ain't famly, de foykin joyk.
Mar 30, 2020
Mar 30, 2020 at 12:20 PM UTC
Nero fiddled,
POTUS diddled,
The outcome is the same.
Handbaskets are in flames.
I, said:
Others are to blame.
Mar 14, 2020
Mar 14, 2020 at 10:23 AM UTC
How do I loathe thee? There aren't enough ways.
I loathe your birth, your girth; the lack of mirth
My tired spirit can reach under your curse;
For loss of truth on your tenuous stay.
I loathe you for the depth of my lost days'
Most silent tears, for all of what they're worth.
I loathe thee as I love our damaged Earth.
I loathe you for your blathering self-praise.
I loathe deeply with the disdain I held
For my old habits, and my wayward sins.
I loathe you with the intense, hurtful pains
Of lost loves left on our bleak battlefields.
I loathe with a passion I freely choose,
As free choice allows. I loathe with my heart,
My thoughts, my whole being; and when you lose,
I'll loathe thee lovingly as you depart.
Feb 18, 2020
Feb 18, 2020 at 11:00 AM UTC
I won't come up short again,
Falling for clichés and praise,
Not now nor till the end of days.
I will not roll my weary eyes,
Shut ringing ears to truth-based lies;
Click my tongue or act surprised,
To the shenanigans of home-grown spies.
I will not throw up my hands,
But step close to the deathbed rant,
And hear the confessions
Of the Select's election;
The psalms of prophets
Who turned sour,
Who get ****** for their greed for power.
*I am he for whom you search,
my manicure suits the crown.
I'm not worthy for such honour,
To be a prince or harlequin clown.
You'll pardon me,
If I misspoke,
But you missed the punchline:
I'm the joke*.
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019 at 9:49 AM UTC
The collective elective
Threw a bag of human waste
On the White House steps,
Torched it,
And stuck around to watch it burn
Live,
On TV.
Nov 22, 2019
Nov 22, 2019 at 11:31 PM UTC
Charles didn't heed the Puritans
He was God's appointed,
Anointed and empowered.
He tumbled from above,
Down through the law,
Lost his head.
Nicholas was placed in the basement crypt,
A cult-like condemnation;
So they stood him against the wall,
He listed to his Monk,
His reasoning debunked,
So they shot the anointed one
On his golden throne.
Benito was above the law,
High on meat hooks.
Could we dare to look?
If you were lucky,
If you were tied to a stake,
And the ******* ignited,
Someone dear would tie a bag
Of gunpowder around your neck.
Why let the crows pick out his eyes,
Make golden nests from his hair.
End the torture. Pull the life-line.
Sever the head from the body politic.
It is the righteous thing to do;
It is the civil thing to do
In pensive state.
Rise up from your ashes.
It is the kindest cut of all.
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 12:47 PM UTC
Whistle while at work,
Donald is a ****
Giuliani strokes their egos
All the way to court.
Oct 3, 2019
Oct 3, 2019 at 5:35 PM UTC
We've numbers in distress;
We've villains and scoundrels
In need of redress;
Choose any one of one thousand quests -
We're in desperate need of a Hero.
No call for a cape or cowl,
Hidden rings or magic swords;
We need action,
Not placating words -
From a righteous Hero.
Greece or Rome won't be the origin,
There may well be one in Oregon;
At this juncture we'll take anyone -
A home grown or welcome Hero.
We'll have truth without hyperbole,
Not disdain, but hearing dignity;
One to rise up, reach out, lift us
From the swamp of vanity.
We don't need Deus ex machina,
Or anything supernatural;
A woman or man,
Natural or choice,
A sister or brother,
To call us home;
To hear a voice say,
You're not alone.
Sep 19, 2019
Sep 19, 2019 at 10:44 AM UTC
The baboon savant
Will rear and taunt
From high on his hair-swept hill;
He snatches bananas from the unsuspecting,
His reach has no appeal.
He relishes the sound
Of his own voice,
Screeching into the wind;
He sticks his fingers in his ears,
And when he plops down
His ruby-red ****
His thumb's nestled up his rear.
Aug 27, 2019
Aug 27, 2019 at 9:37 AM UTC
Foresight gives us 20/20.
Hindsight prepared us.
Don't get blind-sided.
May 19, 2019
May 19, 2019 at 8:44 AM UTC
They pulled a *****
With Trump's ********
I mean Election.
Nov 12, 2016
Nov 12, 2016 at 11:22 AM UTC
Red herrings tend to be trustworthy,
But lead us astray.
Orange orangutans are trustworthy:
If it looks menacing, it is;
If it grunts, it's meaningful;
If it moves, it's unpredictable.
In captivity they're studied
As evolutionary wonders,
But it's still an orange orangutan,
Pounding his chest.
Feb 1, 2017
Feb 1, 2017 at 7:20 PM UTC
From the Tower of Babel,
Being chiselled in stone,
Come forth new commandments
To appease the throngs.
One through three
Remain the same,
Following a change
In the demigod's name.
Numbers five through ten
Need some twerking,
Alternatively,
They weren't working.
Lie, cheat, con and steal,
Whatever works
To seal the deal.
Covet women and neighbour's goods,
Stay west of Eden's pussyhoods.
Number four stands alone,
The command is clear:
Honour the unborn, not the Mom.
After a frantic panic,
Babel collapsed in pitiful spite;
Its ruins scattered
On the western Atlantic.
Our world continued to spin,
Because we were resolved
To sin.
Feb 3, 2017
Feb 3, 2017 at 11:43 AM UTC
We need a biopsy
To diagnose hypocrisy
In American Democracy.
Jun 20, 2017
Jun 20, 2017 at 8:48 AM UTC