#thefriend
Uh oh, I feel it
It's coming again
One more unwanted visit
From my longtime friend
There's no notice given
As he barges right in
And no length to his stay
Don't know when it will end
He takes over my space
As if it's always been
Just his place and not mine
Who's the one paying rent?
Feel my presence erased
Put on hold and suspend
Don't confront; Do not face
Feel I can not defend
Everyday forced to face
Sadly, what could have been
Feeling lost and disgraced
I'm imprisoned again
In this bottomless pit
Where reality bends
Won't give up; Will not quit
Digging out with a pen
Beg for mercy and pleas
In these notes that I send
Penned emotionally
On my life it depends
Don't just look; Need to see
The real trouble I'm in
My words quietly scream
Fight alone I can't win
Someone please just help me
A spare hand you can lend
Don't need much to be free
Very little you'll spend
But without it I'll bleed
Boxer who can't contend
I'm struck down in defeat
Ref has counted to ten
Not how it has to be
Room is starting to spin
Get me up on my feet
Reset this bowling pin
Knock me flat in the street
Won't sit still like a hen
Punching bag that you beat
Think I'm yours; That is when
Rising up suddenly
Spirit back on the mend
You're the one looking weak
Everything is pretend
Cleaning house; Need to sweep
From this filth I've been cleansed
Helped in my time of need
Thankfully by my friends
Days ahead bright for me
My life here want to spend
But can't get too comfy
He will strike; Don't know when
Out my eye hole I peep
Could return once again
Promising not to leave
Me and my longtime friend
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 12, 2019 at 1:22 PM UTC
When he talks, she hears you.
When he laughs, she pictures you.
When he holds her, she feels you.
When he hugs her, she smells you.
When he kisses her, she wishes it is you.
It's unfair and unjust.
She likes one, but she loves the other.
Seems like the people switched positions,
"The one" and "the friend".
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 9, 2019 at 12:20 AM UTC
Spinning and whirling, of course it would stop
Right here at this God forsaken spot
That wheel of time never did like her
In good times that wheel couldn't spin faster
In bad times that wheel would be dragging an anchor
Grinding through loneliness, bad things did occur
It use to be when she was in this agonizing place
Floating there in outer space
Desperately wanting friends so bad
But in outer space there's none to be had
Night time in her darkened room, she let the agony go
With every sharp slice like fire, blood filled with agony would flow
Spinning slowly into good times, it brought with it friends
One was a soul-friend connected through centuries, he was a Godsend
Teaching her how to deal with the loneliness, and darkness
He reminded her of the pen's savage caress
He was a great poet, with a shattered caring heart
"Bleed ink on the paper to make it depart"
"I love you dear friend, use the pen instead of the blade to drain
All the agonizing sorrow, and dark thoughts in your brain"
Soon figuring out they were friends of the soul, talking everyday
She prayed it would always stay that way
She got use to the "I love you" said to each other
When she was sad, big Bear hugs that smothered
Quickly the wheel spun good around to bad
In that day, in just a few hours she lost all she had
His demons had won, they had finally taken him down
On deaths door, bet you can guess by who he was found
It was a grief of the soul, she had never felt before
Far beyond agony, sorrow, or pain, this was a different door
One by one the other friends slowly disappear
It doesn't matter how, she's right back here
Wheel grinds slowly through loneliness
She's trying everything not to be depressed
Carefully she takes out and caress the tiniest wrinkle out of the paper
Pen now in hand, writing so fast ink almost becomes vapor
She drains her pain into her new friends she creates
With the blackest ink her darkness she tries to illuminate
With her paper friends she tries to banish the crushing loneliness
Trying to fill the spot he left, trying to fill the emptiness
©Pauline Russell
Jul 6, 2017
Jul 6, 2017 at 8:05 AM UTC