#tb
Hope is drying up
Like a Well dries after the monsoon,
Sitting in this room, alone and aloof,
I have counted the stains on the wall,
None of it is more prominent than the
One I have with me, I'm a social pariah,
like an untouchable, polluted with death;
Run, Run away from me,
I hold death in my lungs.
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 2:41 PM UTC
Hope is drying up
Like a Well dries after the monsoon,
Sitting in this room, alone and aloof,
I have counted the stains on the wall,
None of it is more prominent than the
One I have with me, I'm a social pariah,
like an untouchable, polluted with death;
Run, Run away from me,
I hold death in my lungs.
Dec 29, 2020
Dec 29, 2020 at 4:08 PM UTC
Mirror, Mirror in the Heavens!
A demeanour equable to viridity,
The nascence of a lamb.
The supposed handsel from the welkin!
Mirror, Mirror in the Heavens!
A swaying of a quixotic mind,
The dance from the societal crwth;
The derogation of the lamb via gibes.
Mirror, Mirror in the Heavens!
A continual lampoon –
The spawn of a chapfallen eagle.
The brainchild of a timorous creature.
Mirror, Mirror in the Heavens!
A diagnosis of a bird in incommunicado with flight;
A late palpation, albeit.
The societal routine…
Jun 30, 2020
Jun 30, 2020 at 1:39 PM UTC
As a child, I would write letters. No, I have never been a romantic, just a rather diplomatic child. I would write letters of negotiation to a friend of mine, burn them, and let the ashes be a legible phoenix to him.
As a child, I grew up writing letters. I stopped believing in the existence of phoenixes. Either that or my friend wasn’t really a fan of one. He was way older than I’d ever be, so I was sure it wasn’t a change of taste. It was rumoured that he preferred the savour of sconces, so I kept burning my letters.
As a child, I wrote letters in desperation. I learnt the fine line between a negotiation and a plea. I pleaded…I pleaded a lot in my letters. Do you think dried tears on paper burn too? I think my friend thought it insufficient. Either that or salt water becomes invincible above the clouds.
As a child, I wrote letters. I wrote lots of letters. I wrote letters to the only one I was sure would write back in some way. I think burning those letters wasn’t such a good idea, it made him unable to read them. Either that or he forgot changing mails was supposed to be a colloquy. He’s my friend, right? He’d have replied if he really did see them…right?
As a child, I did write letters. Then I stopped. Then, then I never wrote them again until I was forced to for grades’ sake. They are the only letters I can say I got replies to. Only difference was, for some reason, each one I wrote came back with the marks of a red pen and a word beneath it all.
Jun 30, 2020
Jun 30, 2020 at 1:37 PM UTC
My tuberculosis infected heart
spits blood
and
stays away from light
lives in humidity causing fungus growing
In my inside.
My tb infected heart caughs from all its holes
at night
it never sleeps
nevear eats
it's lost it's appetite for people and joy
and laughs
My tb infected heart will die soaked
in smoke
they'll burn its bed, its clothes
every crumble of feelings
and I will be left naked
with blood stains on my skin
My tb infected heart
lives in isolation
between walls of mirrors reflecting
the misery of my mind
It lives in fear and shame
hungrily waiting for death to come
for them to burn its bed.
Mar 8, 2016
Mar 8, 2016 at 10:42 AM UTC
I want to drive
But to where?
I want to travel
But to whom?
I want to fight
But for what?
Without a dream my wants are empty.
Without a purpose my needs are superficial.
How do I choose a path if I don't know the destination?
Am I empty in a good or bad way?
T.B. Wayne
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015 at 1:02 PM UTC
I'm just so sad right now
I don't know if it's just momentarily
Or a general sadness about my life
I think it's the second one this time
I mean
I've had a lot of "sad moments" before
But none of them felt as real as this one
This time it's different
I am generally disappointed
In how I am living my life
Do I have a choice though?
This is my life
I did not ask for it
Nor do I control what happens in it
So, yeah
I'm just going to continue loathing my life
And being helpless about it
Mar 7, 2015
Mar 7, 2015 at 4:44 PM UTC
Separated by two lives
Two different realities
The material world
And the world of inner peace
I have felt that moment of clarity
Where all is right in the world,
I have felt the pain of desire
The pain of one million heart breaks.
I want to be with my family
But this life is killing me,
I don't want to wake up
To this dismal reality.
I want to live a solitary life
One of much self love
With a calm and simple mind
To get me through the day.
I find it hard to be
The true and lovely me
Especially when I'm told
Who and how to be
I am torn between the paths,
These hard paths of love
One walk is very steep
And always filled with mud
The other is more uncertain,
Is it a path at all?
My fate is undecided
My destiny will soon call,
Maybe I will leave
Maybe I will stay,
I will take this journey slow
For my path ends bitterly every way.
T.B. Wayne
Dec 26, 2014
Dec 26, 2014 at 12:58 PM UTC
The sky seems so dark
The moon seems so dim
The rain falls heavy,
On my tattered skin.
My eyes grow gloomy
I’m shy like the sun
I am never warm anymore
My day has just not come.
The sky does not open
The stars do not come out to play
There is no twinkle in my eye
Like lovers who’ve met that day.
One day I thought it was over,
The next I tried to begin,
Life seemed to ignore what I wanted
And I ignored every win.
I gradually woke up,
And decided to be happy,
Not because the world allowed it
But because I wanted to be free.
Free from some idea
That the world owed me
Free from all the pain,
That stopped me from being free.
When I walked outside,
Like any other day,
The sun did not shine,
But the rain came my way,
And even in that dark sky
And in the midst of pouring rain,
I began to smile,
And I never felt the same.
T.B. Wayne
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 1:03 PM UTC
I could write a million songs
About the color of your eyes,
I could write a million poems
About the softness of your hands,
I could sing forever about your beauty,
And it will never be enough.
I could just look at your face
And know the world is going to be all right.
I could touch your arm
And calm your heart down to a beat,
I could laugh for years upon end,
Just in hopes of seeing your smile.
For every tear I shed on a lonely night,
I pray you lay there next to me.
If love is what I have
You will never have as much for me.
But if I should die
And your world would fall apart,
I would force God to return my life,
Just to love you one more day.
But as I sit here,
With you not in sight
I wonder can I live
Without you in my life.
T.B. Wayne
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 8:44 PM UTC
Loneliness
Do you really know the meaning of it?
I know how it feels to feel lonely in a group of people
That ******* cliché definition
But don't for once ******* say you know how it feels
Because I know how it feels
To be stuck on the bathroom floor
No one to even call in to check up on me
No one to feel loved by
Not knowing there is someone
Waiting for me in 4 months
Don't ever for once think that that is a short time
A day was enough to set me off
4 months left me dead
With the memories of dark times
I will never forget
Times like those ******* make me grateful
Appreciative for the ones who even want to go out with me
The tiny acts
So don't ******* think for once that you know how it ever felt
To be truly ******* lonely
To know that no one cared
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 8:56 AM UTC
I can’t express these words of love
or embrace the somber sounds of denial,
But if I should wake and our world is through
Know on my back I will carry you.
When all that we know fades away
I hope you realize the love that was made.
I hope you see love in the stars
I hope you can love who you are.
I cannot protect you forever, my love
But know that at the end, I call for you;
And if we should die so steady and fast
Know that our love will eternally last
I have no doubt that our love lives eternally
But I’m staring right at you and you can’t embrace me,
So is it love at all if it’s never alive?
Does it take life for love to die
T.B. Wayne
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 2:25 PM UTC
The sun reflects off the water
While the rain ripples on the surface
What is the difference between the two?
When the rain stops the sun will shine
When the rain conquers the sun will hide
The river does not know the difference.
The water only ripples when it rains
The water shines only with the sun
It knows the sun will always be there
It knows the rain will always come.
When all is absent the water is calm,
ever so calm
T.B. Wayne
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 7:44 PM UTC