#swimming
depression is like
being in the middle of the ocean
with nothing in sight
but an insurmountable ship
where everyone else socializes
oblivious to the feeling
of constantly needing to fight to survive
and the people on the boat
keep asking why i won't stop to appreciate
the beauty of the water
like those same waves
aren't pulling me under
they tell me to just swim—
even though they don't have to—
as if i'm not already trying my hardest
to stay afloat
"oh really?
i'd drown if i go under?
thanks, i'll keep that in mind."
somewhere, deep in their minds
i think they subconsciously believe
that i made the decision to jump into the ocean
just so their eyes would be on me
as if my life hanging in the balance
is just a performance act
and if i wanted to
i could just climb back aboard
all i know
is that the water is freezing
there's no way to escape
and swimming has become painful
so while drowning may seem unimaginable
to those on the outside looking in
for me
it might be the only thing
that could finally offer
reprieve
5d ago
May 29, 2026 at 1:00 AM UTC
Swim with me; I’m swimming in the deep end
Splashing and drowning, looking for a friend
Come drink with me, I’ll buy the beer
We can talk about things we hold dear
A friendly laugh, a tearful cry
Swim with me, let’s get high
5/27/26
7d ago
May 27, 2026 at 3:18 PM UTC
****
I meant to tell you on my own terms!
I really did, I didn't lie to you then!
I know who ******* did this, they'll get it soon.
But anyway, I really wanted to tell you myself,
I didn't want somebody else to let you know,
And make you confront me like that again,
I really did want to tell you.
But things happen,
I took my sweatshirt off in the wrong place
I never find a real safe space
So, since you know about it now
What will you go and do about it?
Am I still yours?
All I have left is the lingering pain in my legs
Don't make me wear shorts for a few months,
I can't head to the pool this summer
I told somebody I knew that I like to swim
He asked if I had a pool,
I realize that this year, some things might have to change
Since over the winter,
I changed so much,
I'll ever be the same
Do strangers make large assumptions
Do they see me as a devil?
Do I go to hell because I hurt?
How is it my fault that I saw no other option?
I keep at least one sharp object around me at all times
Just in case I need it.
This poem is scattered,
It bounces from subject to subject
From telling my mother to swimming in the summer,
One central piece relates to everything in my life
The cutting, and the inability to stop it.
Mar 20
Mar 20, 2026 at 5:28 PM UTC
I try swimming in the deep end
Y
Am I kidding
When I can barely crawl?
Aim high to feel low
Shoot for the stars; I'm somewhat moronic
hypochondriac psychotic asthmatic
Can you tell by the scars I've drawn on
And my masochistic vehicle?
Got a list of what I'm tryna do
Tryna reach my goals;
An exaggeration of my fragmented mind
onethingtwothingthreebacktoonethingbecauseIcantforgetonething
My perilous thoughts.
No concentration makes for just conversation
In that I lose myself
Mar 1
Mar 1, 2026 at 2:11 PM UTC
Dim evening light
splits the sycamore trees.
Water shimmers.
Becky, Bonnie, Sandy,
all of them laughing,
tipsy on wine coolers.
They know
they’ve got the magic
that will carry them through life.
Bare skin, goosebumps,
all *** and legs.
They run into the water,
splashing, shrieking,
the sun dripping into the horizon.
I strip,
hands sticky with beer,
heart hammering,
nervous, alive.
We swim slow,
bob up and down,
breathe,
girls worried
about fish and water snakes.
Bonnie grabs me
under the water.
“Hey girls,
somebody likes what they see.”
As darkness wraps us
in the blanket of youth,
my eyes strain
to see *******
and little patches of hair.
Sandy’s 8-track blares Freebird
from her old Monte Carlo.
Those three guitars
wailing, endless.
Conquering heroes
emerge from the same lake
I used to catch bass in.
The water swallows our secrets,
our first awakenings.
I suggest we stay naked
and build a bonfire.
The girls just laugh
and pull on their jeans,
don’t comprehend
that this moment
will stay with me forever.
Jan 25
Jan 25, 2026 at 9:46 AM UTC
There once was a man from Toledo
Who went to the beach in a Speedo:
He swam on his back,
And, enjoying a whack,
The ****** let loose his torpedo.
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 4:01 PM UTC
I swim.
The lights are dim.
My muscles are moving,
I find the movement soothing.
There is nothing I can’t achieve.
I just have to breathe.
Don’t have to think.
Just make sure I don’t sink.
I take a break.
Focus on the movements I make.
And it’s nice.
Hearing splashes of water, not lies.
That’s why learned myself to dive in.
Just let swimming win.
Nov 30, 2025
Nov 30, 2025 at 10:36 AM UTC
under the dark of water and
drowning
but you are like fresh breath
in my lungs
so no matter how long im underwater for,
i know im okay,
i know im alive.
Nov 18, 2025
Nov 18, 2025 at 12:16 PM UTC
Can’t help myself from swimming
__SO DEEP,__
_In your thoughts –_
It’s really the depth of your
conversation, that keeps me afloat.
May 17, 2025
May 17, 2025 at 1:41 PM UTC
As I sit in my shallow pool,
every movement carries meaning.
I shift
a wave appears.
I touch
a ripple dissolves into silence.
In this still water,
I witness my connection to reality
and reality, in turn, acknowledges me.
When I force the waves,
push them with all my might,
they recoil and push back,
equal and unwavering.
As if to say:
all you do
will return to you
in equal kind.
So I see my influence
if not on the world,
then at least on this small surface of it.
My own lunar pull
on a body of water
that never needed the moon.
I used to try to keep still,
to let the water settle,
to find some perfect calm.
But stillness, too, was a choice
a part of the dance.
And when I moved again,
the waves would rise.
The world would rumble.
And I would swim.
Apr 22, 2025
Apr 22, 2025 at 1:59 AM UTC
How fast can you jump,
With tired legs?
Further than the wall,
Or are your legs too weak for freedom.
How far can you swim,
When your arms are sore?
Will you make it across the lake,
Or drown half way?
How much can you love,
With a broken heart?
Will you make them happy,
Or have them jumping to get away?
MON
Jan 8, 2025
Jan 8, 2025 at 5:12 PM UTC
before we grew apart
i dreamt of you dying
of your mother
clutching your voice, crying
in the chlorinated stands
where we met for the first time
she holds out the phone,
says “say goodbye”
and i’m running
railing flying by
reaching through thick air
to the mother who buries her boy
and i don’t know
if i made it in time
and i mustn’t have
cause we haven’t talked in a while
and i woke up smelling chlorine
and i never got a goodbye
Sep 26, 2024
Sep 26, 2024 at 3:19 AM UTC
Stars shimmer in the predawn night
A mountain lake awaits, her cool waters beckoning
I quickly shed all my clothes
Feeling the chill of the air
But I don't shiver - I'm ready to dive in, to surrender to her
Dawn's early gray peaks at the horizon
I plunge into her cold embrace
The rush of the water invigorates me
A shallow dive, my wet cheeks greeting the morning air
Stars begin to fade
I start my stroke
Muscles warming, I kick like a spring frog
Water ebbs and flows through my body
Like a Bach Adagio, slow and serene
I brush my hip with my hand on each stroke
I feel wet skin
My skin
No suit
Pinks and purples, a sonnet of color, grace the sky
I roll over on my back, chest above the water
Cool breeze whispers over my *******
Water caressing my skin
Aware of this fleeting moment
This glorious sunrise never to be seen again
Morning sun chases away dawn's colors
I quicken my pace, feeling my shoulders ache
Mind starts to wander, blocking the pain
What if everyone could experience this swim?
Becoming one with nature
Comfortable living in their skin
No hate, no depression
Morning has arrived
As I reach the shore, legs wobbly and head spinning
I stand looking at the sky, feeling grateful to be alive
Memories of this swim, a treasure to cherish
I smile -I am a swimmer
Sep 12, 2024
Sep 12, 2024 at 5:46 PM UTC
Down here by the Murray River,
where life swims all around;
above and beneath the surface,
in this heat, everything flows —
Beers, BBQs, budgie smugglers and babes in bikinis,
memories bobbing above ground
capturing freedom; post-pandemic and pre-celebrations.
Down by the Murray River,
watching things flow safely and soundly,
birthing new possibilities:
boyfriends, babies, businesses and brews?!
Endless possibilities abound,
prophecies realised; salvation.
Down by the Murray River,
with nature, our souls sing loudly,
simplicity is possible,
trusting and enjoying,
everything is allowed.
Jan 13, 2024
Jan 13, 2024 at 4:28 PM UTC
Standing underneath a Billion Stars,
I looked down at the Roaring Sea.
Something jumped out of the Water,
I wondered What it could Be.
I leaned Myself a bit further
and tried to figure things Out.
A Mermaid caught My Eyes
and I had no time to Shout.
I thought I ought to save Her,
from the 'Sharks' there out at Sea.
Then I changed My Mind,
as Her Beauty enchanted Me.
I waved out, My Hands to Her
and that brought, out Her Smile.
She said to Me, "Let's go Diving,
so U can Romance Me for a While".
With a Splash, I was in the Water.
Holding on, to My new found Love.
She was a Soft as Cotton Candy
and murmured like a Snow White Dove.
At times I've Romanced in Sunshine,
At times I Held Hands in the Bitter Cold.
Today I was at Nature's end Swimming,
With a Mermaid and Her Heart of Gold.
Sep 23, 2023
Sep 23, 2023 at 9:37 AM UTC
Count the Raindrops,
falling in a Rainstorm.
Count the Leaves,
that are there on a Tree.
Count the Stars,
Up there in Heaven.
Count the Fishes,
Swimming out at Sea.
Take the Happiness,
of the Universe.
and Add them all,
to a Love that never Ends.
Her Heart,
will taste only Laughter
and Her Eyes,
will hold U until the End.
Aug 30, 2023
Aug 30, 2023 at 9:45 AM UTC
For the longest time it's felt like I'm drowning.
I've kept swimming.
This isn't where I'd like to take my last breath.
It angers me that I struggle to fight the waves.
And sometimes, all feels lost.
Yet...
Whether through ego, anger, denial, or the instinct to survive,
I cannot accept an end like this.
My lungs are not yet out of breath.
Jul 24, 2023
Jul 24, 2023 at 10:30 AM UTC
Great, swimming at night,
alone in the silent lake --
black trees around me.
Mar 4, 2023
Mar 4, 2023 at 3:35 AM UTC
“She toddled in the mighty Duck
And almost never was”
Whether by design or luck
Or maybe just because
Summertime in Tennessee
So scorching hot and dry
The family thought a swim could be
Relief so we would try
While swimming came so easy
For most of us that day
But Mom was water queasy
So on the bank she lay
My friend and I, we swam like fish
In the deep Duck River
A day that would make you wish
This fun could last forever
My baby sister was so small
She could barely walk
She toddled and then down would fall
And jabbered with her talk
So Dad had moved into the deep
That’s when I saw it well
My sister ran without a peep
Into the Duck she fell
Momma screamed and I just froze
And out of sight she went
The muddy Duck would now propose
Another life be spent
My Dad had sprung to action
On hearing of the scream
He dived as a reaction
Into the muddy stream
.
.
.
And many years would pass us by
She studied hard and long
Nothing was too tough to try
She never got it wrong
A Ph.D and drug design
She makes the pills you need
If you were really in a bind
And needed meds indeed
She plays piano and reads the books
And knows so much inside
She sews and cleans and then she cooks
With logic as her guide
Accomplishments on every level
Complete and tried and true
But humble, never would she revel
In all that she could do
.
.
.
He came back up and looked around
His eyes began to beg
He dived again and there he found
And grabbed her by the leg
Upside down he pulled her up
And water did pour out
And soon we heard her cry startup
Relief without a doubt
.
.
.
Remembering that day and so
A blessing to repay
That was sixty years ago
But feels like yesterday
I sometimes think of all the luck
That happened just because
“She toddled in the mighty Duck
And almost never was”
Nov 1, 2022
Nov 1, 2022 at 5:18 PM UTC
Fickle
Done in mentioned light...
Through and due the common, the still
Notice of compliment, a comment of right
None
The more we save, from the proof of simplicity
Story's and a sulking tree, the seldom of fun in the sun
Turned to universality, with the eyes of anarchy
Amend
Sour and refined, refrain from the beauty of compel?
The pout of another gift and the choice of feeling's substance
Over the quiet since, that has become ours to weal...
Things
And the duty of a desire in worthing heaven, the hell of unity
Given me, and the role of synchronicity a resolve, to sweeten
Time is a daring host, to assure even the tiniest of needs, vicinity
Arduous
Threshold in the lime, the boding of every else, in the book
Staid and remembering decorum, like a hell is every cause
When we are the understanding home, to a willing look...
Force
Are we a stir of responsibility in the arms of voice, or its cope?
Timid as we are, the calling of it all, is a wisdom's source?
Look hard for a nature? when you can have a friend for it's love...
Caring
True to mellower stares, the throe of uncanny light
Made from the none, are we to survive a decision, so faring
The response of decency, that a swim with the devil, is also right...
Liberty
Loan the call, to me for a universe's song
Trust is a walking might of the deed, asking the seldom, evil's
Is it me, or the shade in a wishes stir, the tout we held all along?
Oct 10, 2022
Oct 10, 2022 at 4:45 PM UTC
twitchy sniffly noses
silky bracelets woven
a sennight of whispers
and soft rains fallen
bones strident ringing
skins slow submerging
bloodshot eyes and
star-shot skies and
cheekbones shrouded
in staling chlorine
sneaking syrup smiles
under honey gold
four tonics drowned
to fight off the cold
and fast fortune-telling
for finites foretold
trace the lines and
face the folds, please
hold both palms closer
but leave them closed
twitchy ditzy fingers
***** rings unspooled
a sennight of stories
and sinking in pools
bones washed in phenol
skins slick like ferrule
bloodshot minds and
star-shot why’s and
wisteria lips speckled in
the warmest shade of cool.
Jan 26, 2022
Jan 26, 2022 at 8:01 PM UTC
In deeps of love
_(termless)_
We're only drowning;
trying to swim to the end.
Dec 18, 2021
Dec 18, 2021 at 2:58 PM UTC
I can hear the sea bed,
I sometimes think I can hear whales and eels,
And pain escaping my body,
I feel so much all the time,
I sometimes think you feel very little and watching you succeed makes me feel worse and isn't that awful?
Eels are covered with a slimy mucus that allows them to slither around without getting scratched,
I keep dropping myself into water,
For a second of relief,
Healing isn't linear,
And did you know eels can swim backwards and forwards.
Nov 27, 2021
Nov 27, 2021 at 4:38 AM UTC