#swiftie
The Life of a Showgirl
Glitter is just dust
that learned to beg for attention.
The crowd loves the fire,
not the girl breathing the smoke.
I’ve bled in gowns worth more than rent.
Showgirls don’t sleep,
we just step out of view.
I bow so low the room flips upside down
and think about staying there.
The house always wins when the house is me.
Every encore’s just a prettier cage.
Applause is hunger wearing perfume.
I’ve been feeding it my spine for years.
Every standing ovation is an autopsy report—
cause of death: she was too good at her job.
I learned to stand still
so the aim would be easier.
The dress is breathtaking,
and I can’t breathe.
The pearls bruise softer in summer.
By fall, they know my throat’s shape.
By winter,
I forget I can take them off.
The life of a showgirl
is knowing the curtain call
and the execution order
sound exactly the same.
And I bow
until the curtain closes,
and I’m gone-
even I’m not sure
where I go.
Aug 15, 2025
Aug 15, 2025 at 3:05 PM UTC
Forgive me Peter,
tensions blare like flames of a heater.
You said, that the time’s ill,
But it came off as your free will.
Unbeknownst, we were put to withstand the test of time,
Did you really give up on us in our prime?
What once was as bejewelled as a cosmic star,
Is now drowning in the wine at the bar.
The story of us,
preserved in cedar closets
Accessed by the one left behind,
a tortured marionette.
Denial disguised as hope,
the thought of when you return.
But now you’re 25 and farewell’s all I wrote,
A void engulfs my radiant glow,
I watch my fantasy wither, then burn.
Acceptance is moving on,
But pain strikes deep, as the new day is born.
It’s time I realise,
The shelf life of those fantasies have expired,
My life - a tragic satire.
May 4, 2025
May 4, 2025 at 11:07 AM UTC
Lingering in the dark side,
She just blew my mind,
My brain waves all fried,
Sanity lost, too far to find.
I dream of busting chains,
Throwing my life down the cliffs, to the ocean rocks.
My soul now in your reigns,
Bound,Buried & Chained in a box.
My visions wild,
Fantasising a life away,
Heartbreak not so mild,
I end up all alone and stray.
In my Mind, my Initials chained around her neck,
Tighter than the grasp of love and dread,
Blinded in a hedge maze, reality unchecked,
We’ve already done it in my head.
Fiction and reality merge,
I keep recalling you in vivid dreams,
A messy little kiss it’s all that I urge,
Lust flows in wicked streams.
The river of lust,
Sourced from fatal fantasies,
As I drown deep in you,
Giving into all the fancies.
Bedsheets all ablaze,
Screaming, hiding my face,
Rising up like waves,
Crashing over, leaving no trace.
At last, a wishful yearn,
Giving way to laboured breath,
Will the tables turn,
Our fate all set.
Feb 23, 2025
Feb 23, 2025 at 10:31 AM UTC
My knuckles bruised, they’re violet,
My heart broken, it was once so scarlet.
I waived the white flag just for you to tear it apart,
I knew it was just the start.
Of Bloodshed, Crimson Clover,
Our dream was over,
You said forever.
But then you smashed it up.
Hatred spills over our sacred love.
Our malice intertwined,
Truth drowns deep in glasses of wine.
Maroon red is it love or is it hate,
Or was this eventually our fate.
Feb 15, 2025
Feb 15, 2025 at 9:53 AM UTC
I want to write a poem for you, a lighthearted one full of morning breath kisses after late nights of bodies intertwined. One worthy enough to be quoted in wedding vows. Except I haven’t had a good night’s rest since the second of December, and the salt has left permanent tracks on my cheeks. My glass heart is glued together with Taylor Swift and therapy sessions, cautiously breathing through the memories anticipating the shatter. One day I’ll write a carefree poem, only it will be about me.
Dec 29, 2024
Dec 29, 2024 at 8:53 PM UTC
If you can’t feel anything
You’ll never hurt
If you go on a trip
You don’t have to come back
I know I speak nonsense
Improbable things
Make your meals
Eat your money
Then repeat
Until the ending
They say go to bed on time
Because time is not my own
I have no control
One tear resting
On my piano alone
What if I died?
Who really cares?
These questions
Whispered at night
It’s me who does this
I’m self aware
What is poetic?
This is not what this was supposed to be
These are midnight thoughts
Thanks for listening?
Missed you all
It’s been a minute
Life moved on
I came back
Because I missed u in it
Jan 13, 2023
Jan 13, 2023 at 4:27 AM UTC
Oh mirror
I believe you were made to taunt me
Few see beauty and peace
Most see something they can never be
Wanting is a burden
Having is a crime
What do I say to that?
Just give me some time
Paralyzed I stare
Oh mirrored me
Talk to me sweetly
Tell me
"wear and tear is normal
just confide in those who cry deeply"
I sigh alone fractured by despair
I walk outside
and I see mirrors everywhere
-J.R
Sep 30, 2021
Sep 30, 2021 at 9:20 PM UTC
We were a crooked love
In a straight line down
Makes you wanna run and hide
But it makes you turn right back around
I wish you would come back
Wish I'd never hung up the phone like I did
I wish you knew that
I'd never forget you as long as I'd live
I wish we could go back
And remember what we were fighting for
Wish you knew that
I miss you too much to be mad anymore
And I wish you were right here, right now
It's all good
I wish you would
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 2:58 AM UTC