#suppressing
these words bubble up in my throat
but i push them all down
if i don't
then i'll lose control
screams rattle inside my skull
but i never voice them
for fear of not stopping
i have so much to say
so much anger to express
but it isn't a good idea
i don't want to be like them
they were volatile
and as unstable as dynamite
i don't want to become violent
and see their faces in my reflection
Apr 30, 2025
Apr 30, 2025 at 8:39 AM UTC
After suppressing pain and keeping tears at bay over a million times, you learn how to lean towards numbness all because being hollow is ultimately better than overflowing with mayhem.
At first, you try to convince yourself you’re numb. In the long run, you’d no longer be a novice in this game. You’d learn to walk amidst the flames.
But darling, this isn’t strength; this is me coping, lonesome and alone.
Darling, this isn’t strength; this is ignorance well-meant, this is appearing whole when deep inside I'm disintegrating, this is me trying not to fall apart in your presence because I don’t know if you’d have the guts, or the conscience, to pick broken pieces up knowing that the shards could very well hurt you too.
Darling, this isn’t strength, so don’t put your faith in an empty cause. Spare yourself and say goodbye, and I’d give you my last farewell.
I’d rather we make amends before we part ways rather than just breaking away without breaking even.
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018 at 5:53 AM UTC