#sucide
I look back at you
and wave goodbye
goodbye grandpa
I only knew you so young
for you to hold me so close
goodbye great aunt jeannie
you were the strongest women I've known
goodbye aubrey
you were the bestest friend
and my only friend at the time
goodbye izumi
you owned the black heart emoji
and most of all owned my heart
goodbye Melanie
you would've been an amazing daughter
and an amazing older sister
goodbye mochii
you always knew the right time
to give me a hug
goodbye zer0
you never let anyone drift away
no matter how hard they tried
and as much as it hurts to say goodbye
to those around us who we love
so dearly
that's just how life goes
I know you all are probably happier now
in a place that is much nicer than earth
and although I cried
and your never coming back
your always still here
in my heart
so I wave goodbye
to you all
and I know your never leaving
not really at least
you'll still be there
telling me I'll get through it
reminding me to eat the food on my plate
telling me I've grown oh so beautiful
and that's just it
your still here
in everyone's heart who loved you
I wave goodbye
again
with you now holding onto a piece of me
that was broken
and your repairing it
in your peace
Mar 5
Mar 5, 2026 at 10:26 PM UTC
Maybe one day
cleaning my room someone will find the letters sleeping in my closet,
folded with the words
I never spoke out loud.
My best friend might scroll my notes, recognizing the pieces of my heart
I was too shy to share.
You’ll see me on ordinary days,
laughing, talking,
looking at you a second glimpse longer just to memorize
the faces I love.
You may notice my room
neatly arranged,
tho for me it feels different
like a room holding its breath.
I’ll give you small gifts when I see you, little pieces of care,
the way I always do,
hoping you feel that I'm still with you after i leave.
And maybe later
you’ll wonder
what filled my mind
in those quiet moments.
But more than anything,
I hope you keep the warmth of me,
not the questions.
I hope time brings
understanding why i did it.
But more than anything, I hope you remember the laughter we shared, the moments that stayed warm, and the love that was always there
Feb 8
Feb 8, 2026 at 3:53 PM UTC
TW:b100d, g0re
Nights spent carefully watching as his smile turned to ice
Nights waiting for the call that I knew would not come
A butterfly that grew bright, was fated to fall and die
Leaving behind a world full of flowers and love
From their perspective at least
Nights that echoed from my thoughts racing from his words
Nights that screamed in my ear, the night sky wrinkling in my palms
Nights that I stayed unaware, foggy memories of terror and hurt
Staying at the window, watching for lights, fighting to stay calm
What have I done when his smile had grown too small?
What have I done, when he had filled up his skin and his walls
With drawings I couldn’t stop?
Bl00d is Ill-fated when staining the hands of a civilian
Easily turning a human into a monster that twists behind the mirror
A world full of people but still I thought you were one in a million
Biting back, I thought in a way that didn’t make it any clearer
But yet
The bl00d drips
My fingers become frozen ice that doesn’t feel, a world that seems so unsafe
I don't wait for your breath that has become empty
I had thought it was you all along, but the story is told in many faces
The ink that ran from our eyes were different colors, and I saw mine as black
But I know now it is red like the bl00d in your veins
Spilling out onto the carpet, spilling out of your head
It’s hard not to feel insane
And that smile, I realized, was just carved into your cheeks
The other side of the water, was not just my reflection
It was a strange thing to be seen…
Sep 10, 2025
Sep 10, 2025 at 12:43 PM UTC
Sometimes I forget who I am
What I look like
I forget what I've done
I forget what the universe thinks of me
Untouchable ;
Is who I am
Arms and legs
Joints and knuckles
Down to cells of my rusty ***** inducing aperture
I am nothing short of a miracle
Still breathing
Still living
No purpose
Not a single use
Just
Alive
Aug 4, 2025
Aug 4, 2025 at 11:02 AM UTC
patty cake
patty cake
baker's man
in the broken mirror
i slap my own hands
blood trickles down
from my skin
please
let me in
patty cake
patty cake
baker's man
please
be my friend
while you still can
Dec 6, 2024
Dec 6, 2024 at 3:36 PM UTC
When Will It STOP
By: Honorine Shabani
When will we feel safe going out?
When will children feel safe going to school?
When will we stop losing our loved ones?
When will mothers stop shedding tears?
When will one crowd under fire stop?
When will homicides and sucide stop?
When will mental disorders stop being taken as a joke?
Let's stop using guns just for fun
Let’s live in harmony and stop judging
Let’s dishonorary the act of violence and hate
Let’s stop the killing and start loving
Stop hashtags and start doing actions
Let’s stop our community from being broken
Let’s stop families being bit
Let’s work together and stop gun violence
LET’S BE ONE, USA
Oct 1, 2021
Oct 1, 2021 at 10:51 AM UTC
A lone wolf on a mountain
A fish falling down a fountain
A butterfly on a flower
A shark about to devour
A man on a tower
About to meet his death
On his last breath
About to fall to the ground
And people crowd around
The man frowned
This was how he ended his life
Death has the feeling of a blunt knife
Yet the wolf, fish, butterfly and shark
Are still living
Outliving the dominant creature on earth
Do we have no self-worth?
Giving life away so quickly
Because it got a little sickly
Mar 27, 2021
Mar 27, 2021 at 1:25 AM UTC
My head
My heart
All says the one thing
Let it go enough is enough
Sep 14, 2020
Sep 14, 2020 at 2:45 AM UTC
It’s not death I fear,
I would welcome it with an open arms,
Like an old friend I haven’t seen for forever,
Like you would welcome love.
What I am afraid is dying through suffocation
When you are in a room full of smoke,
And you realize that you only have these fumes
That burns your chest with every inhale, to breathe.
When you are choking on ether,
And you can’t really feel it because
There is nothing to choke on.
When you are in a close space
And the hot air you breathe out
is the air you need to breathe in.
When you are drowning in the sea
And you realize there is nothing you can do about it.
Sep 9, 2020
Sep 9, 2020 at 3:41 AM UTC
Some times I wish this alcohol would end me
So I wouldn't have to worry about that time
That I almost did it myself
And how I wish
I would have followed through
Aug 15, 2020
Aug 15, 2020 at 2:09 AM UTC
Your so selfish!
How could you leave me!
Why am I the one being punished?
How dare you do that on that tree...
The one that held your cold body.
The one that witnessed your last exhale.
The one that was in the eyes of somebody.
Somebody that immediately turned pale.
Their stomach dropped,
and tears filled their eyes.
They broke down.
To the ground.
And shivered as the false hope left their body.
Your so selfish.
What about me....
How dare you.
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 7:02 PM UTC
Looking back over the last twelve years
Wondering why I am still here
Unsuccessive at living or ending my life
Have there been good times?
I suppose that depends
On your definition of good
Its an anniversary
Reminders of the pain and grief
That I both endured and gave
Looking back
I am more than that
I survived - I have overcome
Jun 8, 2020
Jun 8, 2020 at 10:24 PM UTC
My silent screams go unnoticed
My darkend days unchecked
I wish they believed me when i said it did happen
The emptiness is all consuming
It stole away my breathe
Self harm is always an option
Sucide is wish
That wouldn't happen to me
Because even death has rejected me
The memories of being suffocated by the man you called dad totures my head every minute
But now....
I got nothin to say
My words ran away with my happiness
Apr 12, 2020
Apr 12, 2020 at 11:22 AM UTC
She pictures her death,
The rope hung on a tree.
The words you said,
The lies you've told,
The rumors you spread,
The hurtful thought you put in her head,
They all become the rope.
This is everyone's fault,
the people she asked for help,
And told her "you're fine",
The people who hurt her the most.
It all becomes the rope,
The rope she uses to end her own life.
Feb 25, 2020
Feb 25, 2020 at 10:16 AM UTC
Coming out of
A nearby hut of mud
A rose bud
Used to mix with
High school
Students’ flood.
On the street
With a bow
Her I used to greet.
Drawing close
And casting an
Affectionate glance
I used to say “Hi”
Often I never
Failed to utter
“Lovely!” “Cute one!” …
In her heart a cherished
Corner to buy.
Though she was shy
Her angelic face
Smiles used to aurify.
When she comes of age
I was sure to propose to her
Though age gap could
Put us asunder
“Does that she too wonder?”
I still ponder.
One sad Saturday morning
A funeral procession
Round the hut
Drew my attention.
To her parents & siblings
And , of course,
To my hidden grief
She opted to be brief
You see
She could not tolerate
“Detained!” on her
Grade 10 certificate.
Vexed
She found it hard
To reflect
A pitch dark night
Will certainly
Cedes place to
A broad day light.
Had she managed that
Dark moment to outgrow,
She could have
Long forgotten her sorrow.
Two decades later
Whenever I pass
By that place
I see her younger brother
With sadness stamped face!
“Suicide why?”
Is it not cruel
Inflicting
A harrowing pain
On those we
Will be survived by!
Is it not selfish
Taking our life
In to our hands
Our corporeal existence
To finish?
If we share our sorrow
Moral prop
From our confidants
We could borrow
This way
What is unbearable today
We may forget tomorrow.
Is it not better taking
The bull by the horn,
Circumventing challenges
To stand shoulder high
While many are born?///
(BY Alem Hailu G/Kristos)
Nov 4, 2019
Nov 4, 2019 at 2:35 AM UTC
I can't explain my feelings to you they’re a jumbled mess,
I'm confused , I'm scared , I can't connect , my sins i can’t confess,
In all honesty I wonder how you keep from shuddering when I'm around ,
I'm cold & Broken, I’m so lost I don’t want to be found,
I can't control this urge to run - to flee down this dirt track,
My foot prints stretching in one direction never looking back,
I'll leave a paper trail of folded love letters for you to read when I’m gone,
Cause I’m not brave enough to confess to you, I’m afraid you’ll see through this facade,
I won’t return,
Back here,
my dear,
So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,
Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,
I haven't had the chance to touch the sky or even walk on clouds ,
Never been to Italy or to chicagos city crowds,
I’ve never been lost at sea or seen the northern lights,
But I’d rather wander aimlessly than stay here and fight,
I'm so far gone driving the wrong way down a one way street,
I might be behind the wheel but this cars controlling me,
If you told me to jump off a bridge id thank you for suggesting it,
Cause honestly most nights I’m just looking for an excuse to finally end it,
So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,
Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,
Waking up to cigarette burns and half drank bottles of liquor,
Light shining through the blinds, my head burns,
The sun in my eyes is like a light houses beam,
A blinking beacon ment to guide me home from sea,
But I'm already lost in this ocean of tears ,
Stuck in the waves till the storm finally clears,
I don’t think the rain is going to go away today,
So I wash it down with gin and tonic,
& hope to god I don’t choke on my *****
At least I’ve finally had a taste of the real world,
As bitter as it tastes I don’t think I can go back to being that old girl,
So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,
Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,
Only thing keeping me motivated to move on is an old photograph I have of a boy I once loved ,
Haven't stopped moving since I read his name off his headstone, I can't even remember the warmth of his hug,
Doesn't matter where I go I still see that concrete angle with his face,
Doesn't matter how far I run, how much alcohol I drink, I can’t forget his taste,
My memories are torture, I’m stuck in their chains,
Ive cried so many tears they’ve turned into a cloud of salted rain,
It stings my skin so sweetly I’m Afraid it’s my only escape ,
Can't turn back this ticking clock, life waits for no one and I’m late,
So pass along my goodbyes,
Send my love away,
Please tell my parents I won't be coming home, oh please tell my parents I won’t be coming home, no I won’t be coming home,
What do you think is tougher?
The human skull,
Or a revolver?
Tell my parents I won’t be coming home.
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 12:36 AM UTC
As I lie here in my bed.
Hopeless and alone.
I don’t shed a single tear.
When I read those suicide notes.
As crazy as it sounds.
They give me piece of mind.
Knowing that someone else
Has suffered greater pain than mine.
So when you feel alone.
Read a suicide note.
It just might make you feel better.
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 26, 2018 at 7:40 AM UTC
i should be in a war
i should be fighting
for my own freedom
the mind is not a joke
its difficult to control
i feel like crying
but whats the use
we are all in a journey
the destination
we all know about it
just do not take me yet
let me breath for a while
let me laugh like my friends
i deserve it, this is not the end yet
telling me about how life is useless
will not help
i need to be normal
the mind is not a joke
#RIP Avicii
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 9:06 AM UTC
It’s been a long and painful few years
and I just can’t keep wasting all these tears
I’ve learned that nothing in life is forever
and everything will tear you down
you can only trust yourself & you can only give yourself the love you deserve
but that was something I was never strong enough to do
I never was strong enough to put my faith in God and just love myself
I always looked for love in the eyes of one night stand lovers
I never gave myself the love I truly deserved
now I’m stilling here writing this and all the people that has every touched my life in any way
and it hurts to say goodbye
but maybe this is the goodbye I need to set myself free
free from all the pain
free from all the stress
free from being hurt and abandoned
so good or not
this is the last one I’ll ever write
Jul 5, 2018
Jul 5, 2018 at 8:47 PM UTC
Hey you, you look like my lover
Hey you, you remind me of how things were when my heart was whole
Hey you, let me lick your golden fingers
Hey you, will you let me recall her in you?
Hey you, will you allow me to paint you over?
Hey you, will you let go?
Lover, lover, lover let me **** your power you are not weak
Let me take your flower in the middle of the summer somewhere in my corn field.
Am I playing the god with my own mind or just gone crazy?
I hope you like this new body
Lover. Lover. Lover stay. Let the juices flow in my brain. Stay my DMT.
Devil over the shoulder and just last week I burned the last bridge reaching for you in places you do not exist.
Jun 20, 2018
Jun 20, 2018 at 11:05 AM UTC
In the darkness of night
I wonder if it’s all worth it.
The thoughts pounding in my head
Am I worth it?
Wouldn’t it be better if I was gone?
I’ll never amount to anything
In the darkness of night
I wonder why I’m still here.
Nothing to look forward to
Where’s the motivation to keep going?
What is there to live for?
I have nothing keeping me here
In the darkness of night
I wonder if anyone would care.
Friendless
Never making lasting impressions
When has anyone put me first?
No one listens to what I have to say
In the darkness of night
I wonder if it’s the oppressing stillness.
Or are the demons whispering in my ear?
Some say it’s just a chemical imbalance
But in the silence, they come from inside
Whispers of never being enough
May 31, 2018
May 31, 2018 at 4:35 AM UTC
What is freedom?
The feeling of being free
From the fear?
What is freedom?
The ablity to reach out
And someone reaches in return?
What is freedom?
The thirst for the sky?
And it dosent come
From sucide?
Feb 20, 2018
Feb 20, 2018 at 10:00 PM UTC
I don't want to try
It should be natural
Im not stupid
I know people see it
But I also know
They won't do anything about it
I want to become starshine
A piece of the heavens
To look down
On the things I never got to experience
On the people I never got to meet
On the baby that should have been mine
On that lover that was never there to be
On the joys that I never got to find
Don't cry for me
This is what I wanted, see?
I did this in peace
I did this to have another chance
I believe I'll be reborn,
Just another path we all must take
Why should I be afraid?
I wanna become starlight
To be looked at with wonder
To be the one extending peace
To be the beautiful sunlight
That Pierce's the darkness' night
They say "everything's ok in the end"
Well, I'm ok with this end
Do not cry for me
Live for me.... Honor me
See that look in someone else's eye
And give them a hug.
That's all I ask from thee
all I ask for is peace☮️
Feb 20, 2018
Feb 20, 2018 at 10:01 PM UTC
i pray dear god the end is near,
cleanse my sins with enemies tears,
a fatal dose, a cynical sip,
i found my edge, life's eroding my cliff
as i reach for the stars to scale new heights,
i come neck to blade with the grim reapers scythe
razor blade tipsy on crimson concoctions,
i'm moved with the wind the world is a mosh pit
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 1:21 AM UTC