#strangerthings
It may seem silly to believe
you can do anything
when someone's always been there
to tell you you can't.
It may seem foolish to believe in yourself
when it doesn't seem like anyone
believes in you.
It may seem cruel to let yourself believe
you can escape
or be more than your insecurities or mistakes. That you are more.
And, while it may seem impossible to save yourself,
while it may seem like it's too late,
stranger things have happened
Jul 11, 2022
Jul 11, 2022 at 8:15 AM UTC
My mistakes go retro, I’ve made them before
sometimes I think being forced to talk through lightbulbs would maybe stop it all
all the awkward hello-I-exist moments all the overreactions all the irritated snaps when I can’t snap out of it all the times I didn’t mean to cry out **** YOU,
no, with that limitation I’d only say what I needed to
It’s not like I’m living upside down but it sure does feel like it
hidden away in my head so much that the outside world feels eerie
daylight is bright white and reality is my Demogorgon
I’m too tired to fight it, and standing in supermarkets, bleary-eyed
feels unreal, like a fake body in a quarry
I just wish love was enough to overcome worry
My dungeons are four cream walls closing in on me, infecting me with black slime that weighs me down too much to move
My dragons are adrenaline and exhaustion, they take turns attacking me,
these demons keep trapping me, and I keep getting told it’s too soon
It’s too soon for this, I’m just a kid
lost in the forest, upside down and off-grid
I’m off-kilter, with a faulty brain-filter and my squirming blue fingers
are gripping bike handles and trying to rebuild her
The girl on the wire, the girl with inner fire whose eyes shined like the lights I wish I had to communicate with
that girl would have slain the Demogorgon with idealism and defiance,
now I wish it away in the pretense that it’s a myth
She could whisk objects away into a magical space, a deep forest of brave faces,
seeing beauty in all things through summer dazed rays of romance
skipping along rivers, hair fair and careless, daring to dream of daisies gleaming, just on the lookout for the next rhyme,
unaware that this was the strongest she’d ever be, the least cowardly, unaware that she’d one day be me.
Locked up in the four walls with no fairy lights or lyrics,
Joyce Byers without a reason,
crazy with no spirit.
Months on end immersed in dungeons, fighting dragons,
only to escape and be faced with this deadly Demogorgon:
life without eleven lenses of hope. A life cynical and devoid of magic,
less nightmarish than the upside down but just as bleak,
this is the monster that makes me weak
it’s not the upside down, but my own reality.
I’m still waiting for my sling-shot, sleeping until my powers are restored,
there’s nothing worse than seeing the world and being bored,
in eleven days I’ll try again,
I have at least eleven days of hope left,
I’ll get out of this swimming pool, hop over the barbed wire,
eleven days to find that girl again and turn my gasoline fire inwards,
to escape the wasteland once and for all,
for the world to be big enough that I don’t hear the Demogorgon through the walls,
Eleven days to fix my sanctuary in the forest,
so I can light up both my outward-looking eyes like the aurora borealis.
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 9:01 AM UTC
The things you'll think will always stay
Will always seem to fade away.
Whether you're like Joyce and you talk to the lights,
Or you're like Mike,
Dustin,
and Lucas,
and you just have to fight.
You can't avoid the guaranteed,
you can not make miracles.
The spirits and creatures are against you,
And you'll just make yourselves criminals.
My friend is to move away,
It is a miserable day.
She's going to disappear like Will,
Leaving me here to stay.
I've just gotta remember
Be brave like Nancy,
Ask for help like Will,
Use my mind like Eleven,
and just CHILL.
The things you think will always stay
Will always seem to fade away.
Fade Away
Nov 16, 2017
Nov 16, 2017 at 4:16 PM UTC
Visions collide
Here, I reside
Closing doors with my mind
Chasing shadows, leaving friends behind
If only I could bend time
Turn demons into simple crimes
Sweep away emotions and trembling oceans
Can I plunge into the Earth
without leaving a mark?
Crowding thoughts
Is it all for naught?
I've turned the dreams away
Faded nights turn to gray
Corroding minds, they all unwind
Plunging into water
How soon will it be till I falter?
If only I could bend time
Turn demons into simple crimes
Sweeping emotions, reflecting oceans
Can I rise from this Earth
without leaving a mark?
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 10:37 PM UTC