#strained
Maybe next time you'll be raised right,
and I’ll be able to do things the right way.
More hours spent on togetherness,
less time secluded in the next room.
The fireworks stay amongst the stars,
not falling, and burning my skin.
Maybe I won’t wish for a lobotomy,
and your words won’t bulldoze but dance.
I’ll lay here afraid of sleep–
ending a good day is hard
when you don’t know what tomorrow brings.
And I don’t know if I’ll be washing dishes,
or throwing them.
Maybe next time when we reach the fork in the road,
we could walk the same path
instead of trying to hold hands through highway dividers.
At least maybe next life that we meet,
we’ll be brave and end the cycle.
Red flags won’t be quilted on our beds,
missed opportunities not replayed in our heads,
just lessons learned and love not given.
And maybe, just maybe, we’ll meet with open hands–
not ones still shaking from the past.
No apologies rehearsed, no silence to break,
just peace that finally lasts.
Oct 23, 2025
Oct 23, 2025 at 7:37 PM UTC
You asked me for a poem,
now I don’t want to write.
I don’t like obligations,
but I want you in my life.
I am no William Shakespeare,
yet our love has been tragic,
standing here again,
that never-learning-the-lesson magic.
Assuring you with words
when you’re unsure how I feel,
questioning my desire
when my passion’s always real.
Standing on a rope bridge
that’s missing a few slats,
mistrusting our next steps,
fearing forward, glancing back.
But if the floor was lava,
or we’re exiled to the moon,
it’d be such an honor
to burn a suffocating death with you.
A partner in the daytime,
perfect lover late at night,
a struggle in the morning though
at the same time, it feels right.
Lover, these steps are scary;
we should tread them slow.
But hold my hand a little–
it’s not yet time to let go.
And if you start to falter,
and your legs become so weak,
I’ll be here to carry you,
instant action, no need to think.
And if you lose the vision,
I’ll pull you back to focus.
The love we have is strong,
I think that we both know this.
And if you just stop listening,
I guess I’ll write it down.
I’ll tattoo my intentions,
I’ll scream them all so loud.
So if this poem’s the proof you needed,
let every line remind you how–
I may never write this love easily,
but I mean it,
here and now.
Oct 20, 2025
Oct 20, 2025 at 9:25 PM UTC
All I want to do
Is hear the waves roll into my
Tidepools
Just want to
Kiss the stars
And shine my scars at the moon
I just want to live my life
Without hearing you
In the back of the room
And you wonder
Why you've been left with a box of half finished blunders
By your definition
That wasnt my vision
You're just an open wound
In the back of the room
Don't you think the sun misses
Leaving warm sweet kisses
But you hated every shade it painted me
Oct 15, 2025
Oct 15, 2025 at 11:37 AM UTC
all the people i know
have stained my brain
with their misery and their woe,
don't they know?
i have them too
but i would never shovel them on you
it doesn't seem the right thing to do
when i could give you all love
and give woe the shove
i work it out myself
though there's still pain on the shelf
it's below me, not above
i have pain
because all i give is love
Jan 31, 2021
Jan 31, 2021 at 2:14 PM UTC
mind maggots
nesting in the farthest recess of your brain
a cranium turned cottage
at the hour of your sleep
where toyed emotions play you
leaving to run the hamsters' wheel
where helplessness overpowers you
to see your quickened pulse
in silvery starlight
Nov 22, 2020
Nov 22, 2020 at 12:11 AM UTC
I walked into that room and saw you’re body lying there,
I barely recognized you; lacking life, muscle and hair.
I looked into your open eyes like I never did before,
and spoke looking at your face instead of averting gaze to floor.
If they asked me to identify or claim, I can’t say that I could,
I never truly knew you or felt the connection that I should.
You were given the curse of cancer,
but gifted the knowledge and time,
but did you ever even think that the answer
could be to reach out your hand to mine?
I had so much I never said,
maybe you had the same.
I’ll remain running the sentences in my head,
but never question if I should feel blame.
For a child to not know a parent is easy as night and day,
as much as I should’ve known you, you should’ve known me the same way.
Now my sister and I are the only ones here,
the only ones with your name and blood,
and it shouldn’t even be a question or fear
if we were ever truly loved.
Nov 3, 2020
Nov 3, 2020 at 12:48 PM UTC
strained is
supposed to be
a word
for pasta
not
relationships.
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 3:00 AM UTC
I used to be neon pink
Smile wide and radiant
Everything is great, I would think
Then I started to go silent
Here I am, neon I am not
Light bulbs gone dead
I used to talk quite a lot
Now it’s all in my head
Colors been drawn out
Not drawn, strained
Stuck in an eternal drought
I’m afraid it’s unexplained
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 2:09 AM UTC
~
Money alone chips away at sanctioned walls
Porous, your deflection is my bane
I loath the chasm this singularity has instilled between us.
~
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 4:47 PM UTC
Mama washes the clothes
And hangs them out to
Dry, she takes me by my
Hand and we dance beneath
The twelve o'clock sky.
Papa goes to out and
Doesn't come home until
Late, we're all snuggled in
Bed by the time Mama asks
Him why he hasn't ate.
*He's missing out on time with
The kids,* Mama tells her sister
One dreary day.
I might just have to work more, she'll say.
Papa feels weak, thinks it's his job
To provide for a family that's
Just starting to fray.
Mama works and we ask
Why she won't come to play.
Papa tells me she's off to
Work, that it'll just be for
A little while.
But, days turn into weeks,
Weeks turn into months,
Months turn into years.
Instead of Mama, Daddy now
Wipes my tears.
They tell him that he's a poor
Excuse of a man
And that Mama is better
Off finding a real one.
Times have changed,
Families grow in different ways.
Sometimes things happen,
But I've learned that
Mama's and Papa's still
Love their children just the same.
Jul 19, 2017
Jul 19, 2017 at 10:15 AM UTC
Anxious, strained, agitated, placid, still, dispassionate
Reference the DSM and of its many pages
Ask ad infinitum, Will you heal schism?
Lines of my shape in shade
seem monstrous when
I've been your part and whole
well before your birth
Not long ago you were
pale, semen-white
I breathed over
your mother's neck
I painted canvas
with color
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 8:56 PM UTC
girl -
your silence tears upon me
a savage beast mute
for in your intermittent groans on gusts of ire
masked in murmurs curt
seepage coarse, acrid leaks
girl -
tell me straight, hide not my fate
your real intent upon these clouds benign
for when the heat of marinated fury bursts
erupts one day on bowed head sad
intent on living life in peace
girl -
will it ruin times of joy we knew
bursts of copper, gold and red
no separation there but alchemy of spirits free
so what is it that ails you friend
arms folded eyes aflame in chilled blind rage
Feb 24, 2017
Feb 24, 2017 at 4:54 AM UTC
The daffodils are springing
In the bloom, the pollen toss
The bird sway as they sing
I sense your touch in my all
Take a little longer ahhh
Take a little time
Just forget to forge
The gorge you left whole
The pavement I step, rolling stones
Each pierce my heart, the yesterday
I am not a magician neither a mystic
To foretell your heart strained desires
Cascading motions or emotions
Anticipated notions and collusions
Erosion of the past demolish solutions
Fainted resolution my contradiction
Mar 25, 2016
Mar 25, 2016 at 6:40 AM UTC
You are my dream and my nightmare, a delicate being that has been created on this earth. Your soft fingers touch every inch of my warm olive skin as i sleep, my body craves that, your gentle touch, all over me.
You are the dream i've been afraid of, the only one that has strained all my thoughts. because once those made up dreams come out to play, it goes into fates hands and fate will be the one allowed to make the changes, we then are no longer capable of controlling the little things or how the ending will be, it could all be a nightmare or the charming dream that has been consuming your mind, i guess that's the hidden beauty of it all you could say.
Jul 25, 2015
Jul 25, 2015 at 5:53 AM UTC
You burnt me
You've given me bruises
You've hurt me
So much it hurts to walk
You've strained me so much
I needed medical help
But I guess the best things in life hurt you the most
Food burns you
Exercise strains you
Sport bruise you
Shoes blister you
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 7:31 AM UTC
Tear stained and damaged
So close to the truth
Looking deep inside
So much to lose
Tear stained shirt
And a tear stained cheek
Impossible to clean
Leaving the heart so weak
Tears rolling down
Asking so many questions
Getting no answers
But tear stained emotions
A devotion to tears
Fighting away the fears
Everything looks clear
Through glistening eyes
Time to apologize
To stop all the cries
Of my tear stained eyes
Aug 1, 2014
Aug 1, 2014 at 2:11 PM UTC