#stillalive
If I were gone today
my name would fill the room.
Voices soft with sorrow
beside a bed of bloom.
They’d say I fought through storms,
they’d say I carried fire,
they’d say my heart was stubborn
and refused to ever tire.
They’d tell the world my story,
how strong they thought I’d been,
how bright my quiet courage
burned beneath my skin.
They’d wish they said it sooner,
they’d wish they held me near,
they’d wish they’d let me know
how much I mattered here.
But I’m not gone today.
I’m breathing.
I’m alive.
It’s only just my birthday
and the world goes passing by.
No flowers on the doorstep,
no voices at the door,
no sudden rush of memories
like they’d speak at death before.
And that’s the bitter lesson
this quiet day can bring—
how loudly love is spoken
when it’s said beside a ring
of roses round a coffin
for a life that can’t reply,
yet barely whispered softly
to a soul still passing by.
Because I’m still here breathing,
still standing in the light,
still living through the silence
of another birthday night.
So if the kindest words
are saved for when I’m gone—
maybe the real tragedy
is waiting that long.
Mar 26
Mar 26, 2026 at 2:48 PM UTC
Every punch, every bruise
Every kiss, every tear
I love you
The blood stains
The migraines
I can't stand it
But I love you
Maybe pain is my weakness
Maybe you're trying to help
Maybe I'm only imagining
This entire mental hell
I'm done fighting for freedom
I'm done begging for help
In some twisted way
This is beautiful
This is colorful
Others look at me and say
This is sad
I don't care
I love you
I reflect on my actions
I only ponder the abuse
You're drunk again
I run and hide
How dare I call this love
To be honest
I hate you
You took it all away
Everything
My family
My life
My safety
My sanity
But when the dust settles
And the noise is gone
You're still here
Holding me in your arms
As I cry like a child
Stitching my cuts
As I bleed
In some sick way
I love you
Mar 3, 2021
Mar 3, 2021 at 3:29 PM UTC
It hurts so bad
Not the pain of today
Not even the pain of yesterday
Maybe the pain of a lifetime ago
Not any less
Definitely more
My adult mind is realing
Punishing the little girl I was
The little girl who accepted so much
Fought so little
Torn apart by what I could have done
Beaten down by what i should have done
Terrorized by what I didnt do
Haunted by what I did
I survived
I am alive
But when will I start living
Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 12:49 AM UTC