#spoof
Verse 1:
In the heart of the hive, where the bees sing their song
Lives a bear with a secret, that only honey can be strong
He's been hurt, he's been scarred, but the sweetness he adores
Makes him rise up, and ask for more
Chorus:
Bears don't crawl, they won't fall
They'll find the honey, standing tall
With a taste, they'll heal their pain
Bears don't crawl, they'll rise again
Verse 2:
He's been through the fire, and he's been through the rain
But the honey's warmth, brings him back to life again
He's driven by the sweetness, that only honey can provide
A flavor that revives, and makes his heart collide
Chorus:
Bears don't crawl, they won't fall
They'll find the honey, standing tall
With a taste, they'll heal their pain
Bears don't crawl, they'll rise again
Bridge:
In the golden light, of the honey's glow
He'll find his strength, and let his spirit grow
With every drop, he'll feel alive
Bears don't crawl, they'll thrive and survive
Chorus:
Bears don't crawl, they won't fall
They'll find the honey, standing tall
With a taste, they'll heal their pain
Bears don't crawl, they'll rise again
Sep 21, 2025
Sep 21, 2025 at 12:27 PM UTC
On the south side of kelso if it's there that ya choose to go
Well if its there ya go then ya just gotta know bout a man named tweaker joe
Now tweaker, he's a scrapper and if ya go down on his door
Don't you worry about wakin him up. He aint slept since 74
Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than a five eared dog
Now tweaker hes a scrapper and he likes his shiny things
And he likes to see what fun he has by the chaos that he brings
He got a custom BMX bike with a flashlight on the grill. He got 32 lb of brass in his pack, he got a dope bag in his shoe.
Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog
NOW Friday bout a week ago Tweaker scrappin cars. But at the end of the alley sat a cop named Thurman and ooh dat cop looked ******
Well he cast his light upon joe cuz Thurman had a plan
Tweaker joe learned a lesson bout messin with a future Sherriff man
Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog
Well the 2 men took to runnin and hes dragged down to the jail
Joey looked like a wrung out tweaker with a couple of teeth left
Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog
Well he's weird, weird tweaker joe
The weirdest tweaker in South Kelso
Weirder than a three toed frog
Stranger than s five eared dog
May 27, 2019
May 27, 2019 at 9:04 AM UTC
it may have been a parody
may have been in jest
written to be awful
certainly not his best
but in and of itself
it doesn't come across
as parody or humor
more as a gaping dross
but I challenge anyone
to follow rules precise
to form the proper stanzas
make them turn out concise
an attempted joke by Billy
has been turned upon its ear
it can be done "correctly"
and won't just disappear
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 8:34 PM UTC
When did news parody
stop being funny?
Was it somewhere between
Alan Jackson’s 9/11 cash-in
and Donald Trump’s hair?
Was it BoJo stranded on a zipline over London,
or Cameron’s alleged porcine relations
(bizarrely black-mirroring fiction)?
When did the news
start doing Chris Morris’ job for him?
When did they start
pre-satirising the headlines?
“No evidence mermaids exist,” says US Government.
Swimming pool evacuated after prosthetic leg is mistaken for **********
Robots follow Marco Rubio to South Carolina.
I swear, I didn’t
make any of those up.
The actors on Saturday Night Live
are more statesmanlike
than the Presidential Primary Candidates they’re lampooning.
How the hell do they breed these
creatures? These gurning,
overgrown foetuses with their
conveniently dead ****** sisters to get
all wet-eyed and tumescent over,
their boomingly hollow controversy and
their total, catastrophic
crashes of personality.
These loathsome
organic constructs who would seem
more relatable and trustworthy if
their image consultants made them wear
Nixon masks for every
public appearance.
When did it all become
this strange, sick spoof
of itself?
Is there no one left in Britain who can make a sandwich?
Man dressed as penguin receives more votes than the Liberal Democrats.
Piers Morgan given jail time for illegally hacking ‘phones and gloating about it.
Okay.
I made the last one up.
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 14, 2016 at 6:07 AM UTC
'Tis the season to spend money!
blah-blah-blah, blah-blah, blah blah blah blah
I'm so broke it isn't funny!
blah-blah-blah, blah-blah, blah blah blah blah
Going down, my credit rating!
blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah blah blah
By next year I'll still be paaAAAaaying
blah blah blah blah blah, blah-blah blah BLAH!
Dec 24, 2015
Dec 24, 2015 at 10:35 PM UTC
Little Miss Muffet
Got ******* on her tuffet
‘Cause she don’t know what curds weigh.
A scholarly spider
Sat down beside her
Said, “Tuffet baby, it ain’t spelled that way.”
But, confused, he asked
“How did it come to pass
That you got laid and I have not done yet?
With eight legs to grab
I should be able to nab
Likely many more than than you can get.”
Muffet said, with a shrug
“You pitiful old bug,
Your brain must be little more than silage.
For everyone knows
How the old saying goes
It’s not the age of the tire but the mileage.”
The spider understood
What anyone would
That Miss Muffet knew what she was doing.
He went on his way
With no more to say,
And Muffet went right back to her ********
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015 at 3:08 AM UTC
Twinkle, star, you are
So high, up in the sky.
And Little Muffett Miss
Has gotten so ******
Very upset that from
Someone else’s thumb
That was stuck in a pie.
She didn’t know why.
So she cut off tails
Enjoying the wails
Of sightless mice
Though not nice
Not fooling around
She’d blow the house down
Then give a harsh drub
To three men in a tub.
She swiped all the ciggies
Of three little piggies
But she could not see
Why everything was threes.
Narcissistically proud
She was laughing out loud
Then she started to croon
About a cow on the moon.
She looked for a fiddle
She could hey ****** ******
But when she got there
The cupboard was bare
So, she left the dog home
And began to roam.
On the way past Saint Ives
A man beating his wives
Muffet did begin
Beating with rolling pin
And the guy ran away
Not seen since that day.
Miss Muffett turned old
Folk tales into gold.
Oct 10, 2015
Oct 10, 2015 at 6:27 AM UTC
Gotta Love This ****
Changes You Up Quick.
Take A Little Hit, Take A Pop, A Taste, A Bite A Syringe .
Chemical Effects Seeing Life Unrealistic Getting Super ****** Twisted <3
Loving Life Feeling 20x Better Than Mighty Fine, iTs Fantastic Can Be Long Lasting.
You'll Truly See How Wonderful iT iS, Like Real Magic.
Body Sensation, Mind Blasting, Euphoria Rising, Smiles, Hugs, Many Laughing.
One Simple Dose Can Make You Feel important, Wanted, Loved, Above, Amazing, Powerful, Special, invincible.
Your Kept Focused On Yourself And Dreamy Like Flow That You'll Soon Fall inlove With
iTs A Feel indescribable & Just Everything You Can Ask For.
Blocks And Keeps You Away From Your Surroundings, its Unique, intense, Has Suspense , Gives You Affection & So Much Satisfaction Plus Attention Keeps You Distracted By These Temporary Actions.
You Like What iT Brings You
How Happy & Better Of A Life You Seem To Be Living iN Your Eyes,
it Lies
It'l Keep You Wanting So You Begin And Keep On Finding .
You Used, Now You Abuse
Fell For iTs Tricks,Now You Say
I Can't Live Without This.
Your Life's On Pause Took This Dangerous Vacation Which No One Has A Clue Whether You'll Come Back The Same Or Alive Cause
Your Brains So
Damaged & Fried
You Keep On Consuming Assuming Everything's All Right,
Your Hooked On This Potion Poison That Hypnotized You
Took Ahold Of You
Your Becoming Unknown
Lost Control , Life Spans On A Thin Line, Fast Mode, Became So Distant , isolated
Your Un-Existent To The World Now. But You Yourself Dont Even Give A **** About Anyone But Your Drugs . Went So Low Sold Your Soul To A Heavy Substance Which You Consider Your Only And Lord.
Minds Erased,
Future Hope And Dreams Went All To Waste
Reality Seems Fake
So Used To Being High
You Feel its Your Normal Estate. Have No Faith Became So Negative , And Careless & Use Your Heart less Went Against Your Morals & Values Not Minding The Monster You Have Turned into.
Self Image Beginning To Lose iTs Color iTs Details
Thinning , All Numbed Out,
Having No Type Of Emotions , Cant Laugh, No Smiles, Your Charm Fades, Life Became A Daze Long Maze You Then Begin To Feel Hopeless, Worthless Thinking And Believing You Can Only Move On By Continuing Smoking
This Dope ****
Your Body Begins This Tolerance, leading & Waiting To Introduce You To What You'll Consider Hell Worser Than Comedowns
Withdrawls.
Body's All Messed Up Tricking You Into Thinking That A Nice Hit Will Fix You Up.
So Much More To This Bad Habit Of A Drug.
Havnt Mentioned
Money, Risks, And Lost's.
Drugs End Up ******* You Up Sadly Madly Disappointed At The Fact You Threw Away Your Life Without Even Noticing .
Or Wanting.
Your Addicted And Sickened
Strung Out But Still Looking Towards How Your Getting Your Next Fix? You Still Go Down The Lane Passing The Stop Sign
In Another Dimension Nobody But You Only Mention
Going Krazie, Buried Yourself,
Your A New Person.
Paranoia, Voices, Shadows, Whispers Your Becoming insane Looking So Drained.
On A No Sleep Mode,
But You Don't Care So You Still Go Down The Same Lane
Cause iTs Really Hard To Change From What You Have Been Around And Same Routines For A While And So Used To Doing And Living With These New Drugged
Thoughts, Mind, New State Mentality Full Of Loving Drugs And Living With Day And Day On And On.
You Messed With Your Head
Even Though You End Up Making iT To Sobriety Days
Most Likely You'll Relapse And Fall Again.
Because Drugs Had Made A Huge Impact In Your Life For A Long Period Of Time
iTs A Strong Attachment That Can And Will Heal By Time iF You
Try
Have Hope in Your Eyes Ears Heart &
Mind.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 2:59 PM UTC