#spiraling
Poisonous is the snake, twin incisors make me weak, a foam produced by the mouth
Ravenous is their thirst for blood, felled like a tree, my ****** roots exposed
Veins course with the hatred for the swine & serpent, decapitated animals feed from the trough
False-fed libertine, you are the carnal foothills of desire, seduction without a lack of mercy
A library of secrets lie just under the surface, a litany of false truths hidden
Power driven are the dire wolves, enraged in cages, ensnared by the Devil's trapdoor
Hollow are the enemies, barking with pure impunity, ignorance worn thin by your predecessors
Descent into the maelstrom, a new American justice is born, one of injustice
Blackened hearts prevail, they sacrifice a soul, traded in for eternal damnation
Immune & godless I enter the tomb of their unholy blasphemy, feathered oft their lips
Service for the dearly departed, your cheap brand of justice is forlorn & lacking
Nothing but a f*cking parasite leeching onto my skin, scrying into a black mirror
This revelation of hellfire is a shadow of things to come...burn it to the ground
1d ago
Jun 2, 2026 at 10:40 AM UTC
Each time I'm without you,
My thoughts wander,
My heart throbs in pain,
My stomach eats itself,
My body can't seem to be still.
However,
It seems you're the cure
and
You're the poison
You say it's not serious,
You say it's satire,
You say it's okay.
It's not okay.
My thoughts wander.
My heart throbs in pain.
My stomach eats itself.
My body can't seem to be still.
May 22
May 22, 2026 at 9:05 PM UTC
As I return to my disjointed thinking
I feel the change wakening me
Backwards walking from the truth
Scorned in midnight closets
Heart beat returns to a rushing locomotive
The interior of my head is a cabin fever with pressure rising
Streams of blood escape my ears now
Tears of crimson fall soft on rose thorns
From nostrils of nostalgia unto the nose of survivor's guilt
A voice ripped from the pages of red
Guilt lines the slumber they disrupt
Beyond the dawn I reach the precipice
I think about abortions of truth I denied
Outlandish & grotesque the vices have I collected in little organized piles
This is how I account for my retrograde transgressions
Raising a pale hand under whiskey's guise
Numb words stammer now in these eyes as the holy ghosts eyes are glowing wide
The maelstrom calls me from it's oceanic wanderings
Floating into a fuzzy wonderland with red wine as my fiend to have & hold
Heavy warmth I hold in my cranium
Blushing cheeks hang onto the blood that rushes from you to me
A propellant moving us both apart
& leading me into an evasive maneuver
Blisters eradicate my swift fall into complete delirium
Inside the dark bitter dystopian night
Pitch black inside the belly of the beast
I slide within moderate intoxication held on by baited breath
Psychosis of the obvious peripheral grasps me by the shirt collar
Levitation of the restless spirit greets me
Congruent right triangles oscillate
A day of the dead in the land of the lost
Day of rest for the hard pressed workers
Spent white knuckles rap upon the sticky bar stinking of alcohol's futility
Monday maladies are an abyssal landmark of tourism to the dark side
Leering into my black windows
He stalks me not by midnight's lunar sun yet in the wary fingers of daylight's dark passage
Take upon me your sins & I will be the sineater as my days of weakness pass
Apr 14
Apr 14, 2026 at 10:10 AM UTC
i’m fine i’m fine i’m fine i’m—no i am i just need sleep i just need a break i just need to
stop lying
i’m not lying i’m literally telling you i’m fine it’s just stress it’s just school it’s just—
it's not just anything
i can handle it i always handle it i know how this works i just need to get through today and then tomorrow and then—
you said that yesterday
and the day before
no but this time is different this time i actually will i just have to keep it together i just have to keep—
you’re not holding anything
it’s slipping
it’s not slipping i’m fine i’m fine i’m fi—
then why are you shaking
i’m not i’m just cold it’s just nothing it’s just—
look at you
stop
no
stop i said stop i just want it to be quiet i just want one second where it’s not so loud where i’m not thinking where i’m not—
then say it
say what
the truth
i—
i'm fi
stop lying
..
i
say it
i'm not okay
(there it is)
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 7:58 PM UTC
No warning given,
just a restless tapping
deep under the skin,
a pulse that doesn’t belong
It swells without mercy,
a storm with no horizon,
growing out of control
until it finally explodes.
Pebbles crashing,
into the quiet of my mind,
ripples crossing, colliding,
disturbing every still surface.
Dark shadows gathering,
inside every thought,
a restless torment,
shattered the calm peace.
Sinking further within,
silent fractures spread deep,
endless thoughts spiraling,
a doorway never meant to open.
And once it opens,
the dark doesn’t rush in;
it waits, patient, deliberate,
as if it has all the time in the world.
Mar 13
Mar 13, 2026 at 12:58 PM UTC
I need love
Like
I need air
I need touch
Like
I need food
I need care
Like
I need water
I need someone
Like
I need blood
I need
Not
I want
Because if I wasn't loved
I don't think
I would even exist anymore
Oct 29, 2025
Oct 29, 2025 at 1:35 PM UTC
thoughts spiraling
heart racing,
hands sweating,
legs shaking.
my mind — its own battlefield:
past trauma, present anxiety.
every word said,
a puzzle for me to solve.
i’m not in the future,
yet my mind is overloaded with predictions.
anxious thoughts,
beaten-up heart.
please, my love, don’t let me go.
my heart will crumble,
my mind will vilify me,
my hands will shake,
my legs will give out.
Oct 16, 2025
Oct 16, 2025 at 8:15 AM UTC
If I exist, then I must be real-
That's how it works,
But it's not how I feel.
I look in the mirror,
Glimpse at the reflection,
But I walk right through her-
We have no connection.
And how many words
Can I say, rambling on,
Before someone realizes
They carry no weight?
Wasting the air
From my tired lungs-
Words are just words
When no action comes.
But action proves nothing
If my words aren’t right;
I could move mountains
And still lose the fight.
I could fill every hole
That’s carved in the ground,
But none of it matters
If I do so without sound.
If I’m not weeping,
Or begging, or screaming,
I make them uneasy-
My silence unredeeming.
I speak so much
It makes my throat hurt.
Sick of myself,
Sick of this work.
And if I begged
This sickness to take me,
She’d just laugh-
And keep on berating.
I know I’ll get up,
I’ll just walk away.
It never lasts long.
It’s only a phase.
But when your villain
Is the girl in the mirror,
It’s hard to ignore
A fear drawn so clear.
Aug 1, 2025
Aug 1, 2025 at 4:47 PM UTC
the hour is late
fears keeping you wake
it's all in your head
it's all in your head
the nightmare is nigh
in your tired eye
it's creeping nearby
it's creeping nearby
the danger exists
it's still in your head
it will never end
it will never end
Jun 22, 2025
Jun 22, 2025 at 2:38 PM UTC
I cradle hurricanes in my ribcage
while words swirl around my head.
I try to catch the good ones-
but mostly, I wish I was dead.
I do everything too much-
the joy, the sorrow, the dread.
Yet somehow, I’m never enough-
what a curious truth to be force fed.
If I laugh, it’s always too loud;
my mouth too sharp to make anyone proud.
Crying is a dangerous game,
I could sob away a city, drown in the blame.
My rage leaves no survivors,
as if I line people up on personal pyres.
When I vent, they hear preaching-
a sermon no one wants, a fear of my leeching.
I don’t love, I dissect-
obsessively search for the trap I expect.
I can’t just leave; I burn it all down-
the bubbly, funny girl wears a permanent frown.
I do too much and my inner child feels seen,
She's acting out, we aren't this mean
I just get scared when the vibe is off, and ruining the mood makes the blow more soft.
Despite the chaos I still crave love, an equal partner, wearing fireproof gloves.
Jun 20, 2025
Jun 20, 2025 at 12:18 AM UTC
Heavily debated deleting my account,
Even though it predates you,
It is forever tainted
with confessions of
love
for
you
Jun 19, 2025
Jun 19, 2025 at 8:20 PM UTC
I'd have to **** part of myself to live the life my mother wants
And the worst part is she really
believes that's best
Jun 2, 2025
Jun 2, 2025 at 8:21 AM UTC
What's the price on sanity these days?
Could I doordash it?
Jun 1, 2025
Jun 1, 2025 at 7:05 PM UTC
She'll nail the audition, she always does
She even gets the lead more often than not,
But like clock work, her performance declines with each rehearsal
She can't hit the notes,
Her costume begins fitting funny,
Don't get me started on her choreography,
But she'll pursue, until she's booed
Off the stage on opening night.
And this is her curse,
She'll nail the first verse,
And have seemingly no control as she gets worse
Apr 23, 2025
Apr 23, 2025 at 4:41 PM UTC
my insistence on existence is getting out of hand
the walls are shaking
ground is breaking
its getting hard to stand
i tried talking to the glass, staring into a new land
the mirror is cracking
voices stacking
echoing demands
i wrote a thesis on my spiral
and signed it in my blood
filed it under "WHAT THE HELL"
and watched it sink into the mud
people seem to like me
tell me i seem vague
i take it as a compliment
then turn another page.
Apr 13, 2025
Apr 13, 2025 at 11:03 PM UTC
There is this thing about spiraling;
isn't it beautiful in a way?
I am like a ballerina;
turning and twisting against the same spot;
turning it into poetry.
Apr 12, 2025
Apr 12, 2025 at 1:52 PM UTC
It's taking all of me
to not spiral
out of control
into madness
The world's capacity is full
and i'm a grain of sand
Jul 4, 2021
Jul 4, 2021 at 12:22 PM UTC
The world we make
Is a safe place to fall from
Spiraling into one another
Our souls orbit like Saturn's moons
Drawn by an irresistible gravity
The world we make
Is a journey most never experience
An adventure full of new discoveries
And unexplained connections
Guiding us toward one another
The world we make
Is familiar and foreign
A home for healing hearts
And building dreams
From the fractured pieces
Broken and beautiful
Raw and rare
Faith and fear
Grace and gratitude
Ours
Jun 20, 2021
Jun 20, 2021 at 9:04 PM UTC
people
don’t understand
spirals
it’s not something i do
because
i’m not living in the moment or
because
i refuse to attend to practical matters
i spiral
because in
every moment of
every day
my mind is
seeing and
feeling and
embracing
the biggest struggles
and smallest victories
of everyone around me
heartbreak
tears
years of hard work
dreams come true
my brain is a sponge
in the ocean wave of life
look around
the world is a whirlpool
of infinite possibilities and
of infinite reasons
to sit and think for awhile
it’s only natural
to be pulled
under
May 8, 2021
May 8, 2021 at 2:20 AM UTC
A quicksand cyclones downward at the center,
A spiraling hole spun around by the sands that enter,
They scratch at the innards of my heart,
Pulling everything down and ripping it apart,
I’ve tossed so many things at it,
But they just drop into this endless pit,
Nothing seems to fill it up,
Instead everything just gets ****** up,
It’s like having my flesh sliced by scattered grains,
Spun at high velocity as it sheers against my veins,
Carving out tiny wounds accumulate into scars,
Blood seeping, lost and disappearing with its cause,
Cries are ****** up and then dispersed,
Scattered into pieces until it’s no longer heard,
Screams are silenced by a ringing vacuum,
Run through bleeding veins buried in my womb,
It’s like something wants to come up,
Like a volcano that’s ready to erupt,
Everything that’s been sunk and saturated full,
It’s getting ready to finally burst my soul,
I didn’t want to shut it all up,
It wasn’t my choice to have it all ****** up,
I tried so hard to pull it out with my strength,
But I underestimated the length of my pain,
It’s been loaded and treated with all its vice,
So I don’t know how to clean it up nice,
I think my exterior is too thick for it to ever explode,
But I think that one day, I am going to implode.
Apr 24, 2021
Apr 24, 2021 at 12:56 AM UTC
My life has been a downward spiral
The path is full of disdain and misery
The motion makes me sick
The darkness makes me sicker
And I’m afraid I’m on my way to my own destruction
Dec 14, 2020
Dec 14, 2020 at 9:48 PM UTC