#social-anxiety
It is exhausting
to observe so much good in
so many people
Jul 13, 2016
Jul 13, 2016 at 1:33 PM UTC
Those dreams of tomorrow are gone
The future was but a mistaken shadow
The fire burns ashes into this oken wall
It is now a trip, for me, through this black forest
Blacker, blacker, black the forest becomes
Lost, I am, in these living forests of ebony
Blackened trunks wall the muddy trails
A hall I journey into, nowhere to turn
I make my way down this endless tunnel
The living trees close the path behind me
Darker, darker, dark the tunnel goes
The further I venture, the less I may see
The trees reach their limbs to halt my path
The trees curl their roots to trip my step
When will this end? Is freedom an option for me?
Or do I lay down and die like the bodies before me?
Harder, harder, hard it is to trek these woods
Only black before me and only black behind
Here I sit, in this blackened hall of trees
Here, I'm alone, in this toil of misery
Here, I drink alone. Drown my sorrow
Here I cry, unheard by friendly ears
Here I scream, unknown by any man
Here I sit, in the Forests Of Ebony...
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 9:43 PM UTC
But is it really such a crime?
Avoidance, that is.
I wouldn't call it isolation,
nor anti-social behavior.
Perhaps I just enjoy the quiet
and the decrease in anxiety
a bit more
than mindless chatter
and having to worry about everything I say.
Please, darling,understand this one thing.
I'll avoid people quite often until my last breath.
Only under this circumstance shall I function semi-correctly.
(d.d.b)
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 7:25 PM UTC
Sing for me pretty bird of mine
I've cut out my tongue and can't say a word in time
Mar 4, 2015
Mar 4, 2015 at 8:30 PM UTC
Live on.. live long..
against all the conspiracies.
Drive far, dive deep..
escaping all that you hold dear.
Running away from your perpetual fears,
hiding from the gaze of your judgmental peers,
restoring safety by going through anonymity's cloud
into the darkness, the scream chills aloud.
Mirror's eyes behold my shape,
it reflects feelings of other's hate.
Unable to find a place to escape,
doors locked all around but the cemetery gate.
I can feel myself being incomplete,
being nothing but a piece of meat.
Acknowledging the potential in me,
My only wish is for it to break free.
But stuck in my own darkness
I lie crying behind that heavy door
between the cowardly sheep and the lion's roar.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 3:35 AM UTC
Its a big deep breath.
a gasp
a chance
a risk.
Its an exhale.
a sigh
a relief
a release.
It feels so good while its happening
and nothing could penetrate my euphoria
until,
inevitably,
I burst it from the inside out.
The moment makes me forget–
I can believe I am silky and seamless
for a moment I am an eel and I can
glide–
its as simple as that.
But when I remember them,
my unmistakable talons,
they will tear my delicate bubble to shreds
Frantically I try to rebuild,
to put the pieces back together
before I let in the whispers,
but it is too late and I shiver in the cold.
The whispers are so cold.
so cold.
They climb and claw their way into my ears
I wish I could lay there under the weight of the whispers
and say the fault belongs to someone else,
but the longer I lay there,
the quicker I realize
the whispers come from my mouth
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 12:23 AM UTC
I think too much and act too little
Stuck in some kind of twisted middle
Why do I hesitate to act on thought
When it brings answers I've so long sought?
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 2:57 AM UTC
*
Her hand brushes
against my own
my mind screams
louder than even
the most horrific
of bombs to
hold it back
to close those
last few *******
feet between her
lips and mine
but all I
feel all that
shakes my entire
body and soul
is this crippling
shyness it refuses
to go it
digs its toxic
roots down to
the depths of
my stomach and
refuses to let
go and I
can't and I
won't and I
don't hold her
hand and I
wonder forever if
she could have
loved me back
*
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 7:07 PM UTC
Just because I like science does not mean I'm atheist.
Just because I'm Christian doesn't mean I'm religious.
Just because it's easy for me to make friends doesn't mean I don't have social anxiety.
Just because I don't eat as much as everyone else doesn't make me anorexic.
Just because I make honor roll doesn’t mean I'm smart.
Just because I don't wear tons of makeup everyday doesn't mean that I'm confident in myself.
Just because I do not judge anyone does not mean I don't have an opinion.
Just because I blog a photo of a naked lady doesn't make me bi/ lesbian.
Just because I know the guy I like doesn't like me back doesn't mean that I can't continue to like him.
Just because people call me pretty and I say thank you does not mean I believe I am.
Just because I ignored you does not mean I didn't hear you insult me.
Just because I laughed it off does not mean it didn't hurt.
Just because I act strong does not mean I am.
Because that's all it is.. An act.
But no one cares to get to know the real me, so I hope you're happy with what you get.
Jun 28, 2014
Jun 28, 2014 at 4:41 PM UTC