#smiled
All I wanted to do
Was go to the Moon
It's where they all said, it was at
"Why, it was amazing up there!"
It was the place to go
The place to be
You just had to go there
It just had to be seen.
So! So I went to the Moon
And they all smiled at me
And nodded their heads
"Isn't it beautiful ?", they all said
Yes, I replied, it's... it's beautiful
It's just like... like a great big
A great big...... Quarry!!!
Lots of rocks and shale and dust and
stuff...
About as empty as my soul
And empty as yours as well I fear.
II
(Maybe I could set up a hamburger
stall there
Sell Moonburgers and nice crispy
Saturn onion rings
And Milky Way milkshakes
At least then...at least then they'd be filled with something).
Feb 5, 2020
Feb 5, 2020 at 11:19 AM UTC
What's the hardest thing you've ever done?
"I've smiled".
Feb 16, 2019
Feb 16, 2019 at 6:40 AM UTC
“You don’t like me, do you?’ he asked.
‘And yet, you liked it when I held your hand.’
I stood there, burning with humiliation.
He smiled.
A spark of interest illuminated his eyes.
‘I find that so intriguing.’
‘I didn’t like it,’ I said, when I finally found my voice. ‘I hated it.’
Marko smiled.
‘Shall we try it again, then, just to be sure?”
May 28, 2017
May 28, 2017 at 6:38 AM UTC
"All your bones are all intact",
That is what my mother said
When she held me
For the first time.
And I smiled,
For I thought that was all
I needed in life.
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 1:48 PM UTC
(you will say something today!)
yeah, that isn’t stupid
or maybe she thinks it’s cute
when i fumble over my lines
(you’re losing time just say something!)
hey, how are y-
(too generic)
the weather’s nic-
(it’s raining, stupid!)
I-
(you’re fumbling)
but,
she laughed?
(giggled)
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 4:45 PM UTC
I'm alone with my wine , and the sun coming out soon , I hear the sound of a sax , and something tells me about you.
someone sweeps the ashes , and tells me "it's too late", "you wander down the street"
I smiled I say no, tell him to serve me another drink more, that old man is playing the sax, and his music makes me cry.
It is the end of one more night, but do not want to sleep, because today I kissed a different lips, and now I remember you.
an open question , who would be the mistake ?
and today I have seen delivered into the arms of one guy, and your eyes spoke to me of love
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 26, 2015 at 3:07 AM UTC
While riding the bus today
I saw a man sitting in front of me,
as subtly as possible, attempt to pinch a mosquito
off the top of the head of the woman sitting next to him.
Without drawing any attention to himself,
as this woman was staring out the window,
he was insistent in his anonymity.
I looked over to the girl sitting next to me and smiled.
Though she had noticed this interaction before us, she didn't look back to me but instead smiled to herself.
Aug 29, 2015
Aug 29, 2015 at 11:25 AM UTC
...it's been long since she migrated to heaven, for a sinner like me to be her son is amazing she kept composure & her level
...coming to terms with punishment being the biggest part of forgiveness & all I gotta do is to forgive me
...punishment is for the creator & I'm just a son to woman who died loving a man that made me
...over a decade later she's still comes to my dreams
...this morning I told her I'm in love with a woman & she just smile
...deep in her eyes I saw pain she felt from my past & in her voice I heard certainty of this future of mine
...a man alone can't make a family & so is a woman
...bless me this morning again by reading a poem jotted down for just a dream
...maybe not, it is for the lost trust & believe in love
...it is for the eyes that only choose to see darkness
...for the heart that chooses to remember only pain
...sorry for not being the ideal man but a heart can't choose who to love
...sorry for not knowing you well enough for you to be @ ease
...teach me how to love you or how to forget I ever loved you
...I know you're not my mom & loving you wasn't by choice
...if it was by choice it would be easier to leave you @ peace without any caution of tying a knot one day
...waiting for Mr Right shouldn't be pleasure if we're all the same
...from me to you, a man is made by his life's pains
...And in my dream this morning my late mother came like she does every now & then
...I told her I found a woman, I fell in love & she just smiled
...I wonder why she just smiled if it left me so unsure of me!!!
You don't fall in love with only those you know, some people just fit in your puZzle like they were made for you
...we only choose what we want to see but not feel!!!
May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015 at 4:21 AM UTC
...
That feeling just before
The nervousness that swells
Inside you just before
The butterflies that tell
You of feelings just before
You call the beautiful girl
Who laughed just before
You walked into the door
Which was closed just before
You walked up to see her
And you smiled just before
Your eyes met in joy and peace
Just before
Just right there before, listen.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 10:18 PM UTC
I saw you flipping through the pages of a book
And I thought to myself I'd do anything to be that book
You were interested in it
You took the time to read every line
To understand each and every word
The way your eyes stared in passion, curiosity, excitement...
The way you smiled at the new information
Everything I've always wanted you to do to me
To actually want to know me...
To actually want to understand who I am...
To smile because you learned something new about me...
To flip through my pages and learn about my life...
Who knew I'd be jealous of a book?
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 4:34 AM UTC
I was new to the school
I had no friends
Fear wrenching my gut
And so I smiled
I met some people
They turned me away
Bullied behind the back
And so I smiled
Finally I made true friends
And got asked out
But of course it never did last
And so I smiled
Then the friendship all went wrong
Promises broken, loved ones lost
Blood was shed, turning hands red
And so I smiled
Horror, black clothing
So much more
Crying and dying all inside
And so I smiled
A grandfather left
Passed away
No longer shall we play
And so I smiled
Glaring eyes crossed
Hatred shown in the hall
Between friends turned enemies
And so I smiled
True friends turned sisters
Moved away
Leaving me alone
And so I smiled
Fear wrenched me again
As I tried to mend
Broken friendships from childhood
And so I smiled
Now I have met some girls
Not true friends but close
A boy I like is more than friends
And so I smiled
But a smile no longer means happiness
Now it's simply a brave face.
So how do I reveal to the world
That I am somewhat happy?
Oct 30, 2014
Oct 30, 2014 at 12:32 AM UTC
I spent too much time looking at old photos
losing myself in places I used to be
seeing how beautiful I never believed I was
years I wasted hating someone so pure
I want to be that girl again
the one who woke up every day, despite the pain and smiled
smiled like she ******* meant it
though some days she didn't
I can hardly stand the reflection that taunts me now
the vacant eyed empty shell of someone worth knowing
I pretend I am still her but there is bitterness in my words
I can't look at her anymore
I'm taking down the mirrors
Sep 10, 2014
Sep 10, 2014 at 9:45 PM UTC
I wrote a poem for my biography to a special person about Adam, I thought you would like to read it.
Blue Heart
You were 18, so many years in front of you.
It felt like a dark eternity, you didn’t want to go.
I saw it in your sunken eyes.
The vacant stare and sad dark eyes.
I saw when you were sitting around the table prom night.
So much going around but you were too calm
too collected.
too inside your mind for us.
I knew that blank expression from experience
All too well.
You screamed for help
silent and loud
I reached for your hand
but you
f
e
l
l
You were poised and calm
Broken but full of love.
All I wanted to do was help you.
you were standing still when the world went on
and it did go on, it did, without you.
When you were standing there at the edge
I wondered about you, all in my head.
We were short lived, a friendship that was fast.
You came, changed me, then you left.
it came and went in a flash.
I knew when no one else could guess.
you put it all on me, didn’t you.
but I was not cross with you.
Heartbroken, yes
scared, yes
alone, yes
mad, no
Your color was blue
Blue heart, blue veins
Blue is the color of our planet
from far far away
we wore it proud it was all for you,
a blue solemn silence.
and the world spun fast and
all the people hurried fast, real fast
and no one ever smiled.
You weren’t all there, in that head of yours.
dark and empty
you were sad but you lived like you would die
tomorrow
tomorrow came too soon and it was up to you.
it was always up to you.
Meeting you was bitter
you put me through stress, anxiety and heartache
you put me through shame and shock
All I wanted was you by my side,
and you there was not.
Meeting you was sweet
you gave me smiles and laughs,
good music and thoughts
you gave me a feeling of friendship and care.
All I wanted was you by my side,
but you were not there.
You were poised and calm,
you rubbed off on me.
I was hyped and excited
you called me “ADHD”
You drove an old red beater with water bottles everywhere,
with **** in the glove compartment.
but you didn’t care.
Your drove with sunglasses and the FM radio loud.
You drove in silence, thinking no doubt.
You loved the sun but you would hike for the shade
when we were together you took me away.
I didn’t think, I didn’t have nerves.
We talked about the world
We talked about life
You had a life you thought you didn’t deserve.
Whoever planted that seed
had some **** nerve
you wrote like me but I wrote for myself
you wrote for us when there’d be nothing else.
I knew when no one else could guess.
you put it all on me, didn’t you.
but I was not mad.
Heartbroken, yes
scared, yes
alone, yes
mad, no
When you were gone
I read
and
I read
i wanted to know exactly when
you felt what you felt.
You called me your jav friend
you called me your angel
You are up there watching over me
I yelled and screamed
I couldn’t breathe.
I shut them out,
I cursed at you.
I hated you
I cried for you
I only see you in my head
Dreaming once and a while of your smile,
of your eyes
but they are never dark
they are never sad
they are never empty
The vacant stare is not there.
your hair is a giant mess
and I freeze that moment right there.
You said you were alone
you said it was a secret
you asked me about my darkest
and you told me all your secrets
I have never been in that much peace knowing I kept you there
It felt like moments when it was hours and you were gone too **** soon.
tomorrow came too fast and it was up to you.
it was always up to you.
Now I wear a band on my wrist
and pray for your peace
that is all I have left,
but you mean so much to me.
I hope you are happy,
I hope your journey has ended
and you found what you wanted
My heart was once broken
but soon if all this is true
it will be mended.
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 1:27 PM UTC
A wicked woman told my love, **** him and you will be free."
My love paused, and the wicked woman's old twig of a finger pointed off to me.
Love walked to me with tearful eyes, as if she had no choice.
I smiled wryly and told her in the softness of my voice, "Let it be done, and be free.
No sword is long enough to show my love for thee. No dagger, short enough to match my heart's beat.
So please my love, take your choice of my death. Choose what would be fit."
She didn't hesitate, just cry. She, slowly lifting a mirror from the dust.
I don't know why I felt I must, but I wiped the tears away just to savor her touch.
I looked into her sad blue eyes, just for one more glance. Then I shut my own.
I could feel her lift the mirror, this was her chance, let it be known.
A crashing blankness came down on me, soon after the last things I heard.
"I'm moving up, and you're moving down." These were her last words.
I didn't understand them then, but now I think I know.
She will one day be in the warm light, while I'm still stuck in the cold indigo.
I'd always run up the down escalator, like a crazy kid.
She always said, one day I'd trip.
And now I finally did.
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014 at 6:31 AM UTC