#slowhealing
Smiling with rough sore eyes
Is near to the best feeling
After being a duvet blanket sloth
and crying all week.
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 3:35 AM UTC
I let you in
like rain into dry earth
no questions, no shelter,
just open,
just yours.
You did not knock.
My heart did not ask.
We simply happened,
like something written
before I knew how to read it.
Now I am here,
trying to unlearn you
deleting your name
like it ever obeyed logic,
erasing your face
like memory is a chalkboard
and not a scar.
But you
you return in dreams,
uninvited and familiar,
standing in places
I have never taken you,
smiling like nothing broke.
And I
I betray myself there,
I smile back.
I tell myself
I want to forget you,
I rehearse anger
like a script I cannot memorize,
search for reasons to hate you
as if love is something
that can be argued out of existence.
But every time,
I lose.
Because in the quiet,
when no one is watching,
I whisper it
soft, ashamed, still true:
I love you.
And it hits me again,
sharp and sudden,
like my heart remembering
what my mind begged it to forget.
I grow weak there.
I close my eyes,
not to sleep
but to find you.
I want to let you go
the way I let you in
without fear,
without resistance,
without breaking myself
in the process.
But leaving you
is not a door.
It is a slow undoing,
a gentle tearing,
a quiet war
between what I know
and what I feel.
And still…
I am learning,
that maybe letting go
is not one moment
but a thousand small surrenders
until one day
your name
does not echo
the same.
May 2
May 2, 2026 at 5:14 PM UTC