#sleepingpill
So I took a sleeping pill.
For hours I lay awake staring at the ceiling,
Thinking of what I've said, done and how things could have been.
Thinking of tomorrow, and how it might be different,
And I lie awake because I don't know if I'm brave enough for it.
I lie awake thinking until my head starts to hurt
From imagining a world where I'm whole and not broke.
I see this world and it's so crystal clear,
But only when I'm lying awake trying to disappear.
And so a took a sleeping pill.
I took a sleeping pill.
And pray to sleep, because when I sleep I get to dream.
But wait, who actually who wants to dream
When the images seen are like that of a birds broken wings?
The bird tries to keep moving but the pain holds it hostage
And my wings, just like that birds, no longer move nor fly.
So rather I analyse all the little things in my head
And I tell myself I won't look any stronger if I'm both asleep and dead.
So I took a sleeping pill.
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 4:10 AM UTC
I wish I was still knocked
out
Having ****** up dreams
about
Talking curtains, purple fields and
murk
But the pills no longer
work
My body is way too
used
So resistant I can't even
snooze
Oh how I miss those
days
When I was lost in the
haze
The hallucinations reduced the
pain
The insomnia drives me
insane
Valiums and ***** has no
effect
It used to make me feel
perfect
Tonight when I go to
bed
With too many thoughts in my
head
I will swallow you
anyway
I will hope and I will
pray
That maybe this time I can
sleep
Until my alarm starts to
beep
Dear Stilnoct, this is my
plee
Knock me out and save
me
May 30, 2016
May 30, 2016 at 5:12 AM UTC