#skinny
I want to be skinny
Skinny and slight
But i have issues
With starting the fight
I simply can't last
More then a meal
Without ending the fast
As my hunger
And lack of self control
Makes it clear
That no matter how much i want it
No matter how hard i try
My brain wont let me
Be skinny and spry
Mar 19
Mar 19, 2026 at 1:54 PM UTC
at least if I starve myself to death
I'll die beautiful
and wont be insecure about my dead body
Mar 3
Mar 3, 2026 at 1:10 PM UTC
I am awake
I am alive
yet I feel empty
mom told me to eat something
I did
but I didnt eat a lot
one bite
two bites
done
I'm full
I'm tired
I hate pretending
I just want to curl up in bed
and just sleep
but no I cant
I have a daily run to do
I have to get better
but I think,
do I really want to?
yes I do I do
its so hard though
but I want to get better
I'm trying so so hard
but why am I not getting better?
more skinny
more whole
more me?
why?
Jan 11
Jan 11, 2026 at 9:29 PM UTC
I remember it oh so well
Thursday in early September I recall
the 5th grade
my day I always had 4 hours of dance
id come home exhausted with no energy left upon me
that evening in early September I came home almost passed out
I needed something
anything
to help me
that so happened to be the one week my parents had a
bag of chips
in the house
unthinking of what I was doing I grabbed it
and before I was able to take a bite my mom snatched it out my hands
"what do you think you're doing? You shouldn't eat that"
I didn't know what to think as she stared at me in disgust
so later that night i looked up more stuff on body weight
I saw the girls on Pinterest and thought
wow I am disgusting
then I saw it
a list
not just any list a calorie list
before it would seem to slip my mind
but in the moment it looked so
magical
marked on that list was
grapes
5 grapes per meal and you'd be thin
so that morning for breakfast I ate 5 grapes
lunchtime hit instead of my pasta I brought 5 grapes
dinner passed and I ate 5 grapes
after the day was over I would
dance
I knew if I wanted to be pretty I'd have to exercise
single pierrette
not good enough
again
you'd fall and fall and keep on falling
I needed to be
perfect
the days would pass
breakfast 5 grapes, lunch 5 grapes, dinner 5 grapes
people started to not notice anymore
then I'd dance
double pierrette
you think you're any good?
again
you'd fall and fall and keep on falling
weeks would pass you cut it down to
4 grapes
4 for breakfast, 4 for lunch, 4 for dinner
you're getting thinner Georgia you're getting thinner
then I'd dance
triple pierrette
you're getting good but not good enough
again
you'd fall and fall and keep on falling
months past you cut it to 3 grapes
3 for breakfast, 3 for lunch, 3 for dinner
people could start to see your ribs a bit better
it's working
then I'd dance
quad
you're finally getting decent Georgia keep going
again
you'd rehearse again and again until it was perfect
you finally stuck it perfect
you're getting good
the voice echoed
you followed it
2 grapes gia 2 grapes
then you went
2 grapes for breakfast, 2 grapes for lunch, 2 grapes for dinner
you didn't notice it yet but the grapes almost made you
sick
turn Georgia turn
single
double
triple
quad
leap
tilt
jump
again
single
double
triple
quad
leap
tilt
jump
just a little longer Georgia you can do it
then you'd fall
unconscious
maybe this was bad maybe I should get help
but wait
this is good
this is what you aimed for
you were finally underweight
the belt that once had holes remaining
went in all the way without ******* my stomach in
1 grape Georgia one grape
you cried
you wanted more then one
but the voice was screaming at you
1 grape Georgia you want to pretty? 1 grape
so your day went
1 grape for breakfast, 1 for lunch, 1 for dinner
there your friends were offering fruit, chocolate, anything
don't take it Georgia there lying to you
they want you ugly again
the thought of being that way again was horrific
I'm okay!!!
And they believed you
you got home and would turn, jump, leap, kick, reach
you were finally good enough
you moved up to the next level in dance
that's it Georgia now you see that girl
the beautiful one doing aerials?
she must be 70 pounds
you want to be like her
no grapes
there you were the voice controlling you
you wanted to be like her
stunning
next day
breakfast no grapes, lunch no grapes, dinner no grapes
your parents wondered why you didn't bring any anymore
you couldn't answer the question
only the voice could
you'd sit in the car ready for dance your dad would get in
did you know your mother's best friend died of an eating disorder?
It was random but it hit you
they noticed
the grapes in the fridge untouched
yeah I know
don't listen Georgia you're finally perfect keep on dancing
single
double
triple
quad
tilt
higher higher higher
turn
faster faster faster
jump
you'd collapse
"Georgia would you like some grapes?"
The voice screamed
no no no no no youre finally perfect don't give up now
I'm okay!!
You'd come home that night
email from dance teachers
"she's great but she passed out I'm concerned she said she was fine"
"is she eating"
yes...grapes...
Jan 5
Jan 5, 2026 at 11:32 PM UTC
My mom doesn't believe you're real, Ana.
She doesn't believe you plague my everyday life
'why are you counting calories, trying to be less of a pig?'
Mother
That hurts
When you call me those horrid names
Stop, and listen.
Don't you hear Ana whispering promises of being skinnier and prettier?
Oct 15, 2025
Oct 15, 2025 at 9:46 AM UTC
My body craves it, but my mind doesn't.
Next thing you know, the bite goes down my throat.
"Why are you doing this?"
"You're a disappointment."
"You'll never reach your dreams."
"Why don't you just eat less?"
The devil on my shoulder says.
It's not easy. It's never enough. IM never enough.
"Didn't you just eat? You're eating again? "
"Why don't you eat? You've ate nothing but gum.."
"Hey, you look a little glum are you okay?"
"I miss her so much. I had just talked to her yesterday."
Jun 19, 2025
Jun 19, 2025 at 4:06 PM UTC
For some reason,
I often hear girls speak this treason:
"I'm so fat"
no.
No.
nO.
NO.
NO!
You're skinny. You're in shape!
Next to me, you look like a stick.
I'M fat. I'm a big round rock.
But who cares? Why care?
Some of us are fat. Some of us are thinner.
why's must we worry and
detest our selves because of how we look?
we are more than just our bodies.
we are hearts. we are souls. we are human.
we are broken, scarred and beautiful
Apr 8, 2025
Apr 8, 2025 at 10:25 AM UTC
Casper
That's the name they gave me
The intentions weren't friendly
They used it mockingly
Albeit creatively
Because my skin was alabaster pasty,
I was Jack Skelington skinny
And, apparently,
My blond hair and blue eyes weren't manly
So then,
I embraced it and turned it on them ceremoniously
No more Casper the Friendly,
Just Casper the Deadly
Turned to the ghost that gave nightmares to Freddy
Made the devil look heavenly
That persona went at any and every enemy
But now that I'm 40
I've let that part of me leave me
Though it was the only part of me that believed in me
The scratched up side of my flipped penny
...I miss is secretly...
©2024
Aug 5, 2024
Aug 5, 2024 at 7:21 PM UTC
Hunger
raw
inside
my stomach churns
it seems i can't ever get it to stop
to be satisfied
with the food that I feed it
feel so much fear around food
around eating
am I eating too much
or too little
will it make me fat
will it heal me
will it make me sick
all I know is since the age of five
I was put on diets
for my "health"
and my stomach would ache
and I would cry and scream
I remembered today
the wounds
how I would go to bed hungry
how I was threatened that if I didn't behave
I wouldn't eat
how I would store the candies
in my drawer
how me and my brother made a game out of it
how I would take the candies from my mom's purse
how my mom would eat it and would tell me that I couldn't
how my brother would cry out at night
from hunger.
I see patterns
calling out from the depths of my internal darkness
wanting to be heard and seen
maybe others see me today
and think that I eat too much
because I am no longer a size zero
more like a size 10
but really what they don't know is
how much I struggle each day
to feed myself
how much of a joy and healing it is
for me to buy myself cookies
and eat them
to enjoy them
I would love to live in a world without diet culture
but alas I am working
on setting myself free
slowly
from its clasps.
Jul 27, 2023
Jul 27, 2023 at 6:25 PM UTC
i believe that if
i don't eat
three meals
a day
i'll feel better
about myself
it's
not
working
Aug 27, 2022
Aug 27, 2022 at 12:35 PM UTC
she giggled
and she’s pretty
and she’s skinny
and she goes out with boys
and she’s fun
and she’s funny
and she’s great to be around
and she makes me sad
and she makes me mad
and she doesn’t acknowledge me
and she’s perfect
and i’m jealous
and she makes me wanna die
and i hate feeling this way
cause it feels wrong someway
but anyway
she’s pretty
and she’s skinny
and she’s a ghost
in the wrinkle of my brain
May 5, 2022
May 5, 2022 at 12:11 PM UTC
110
The cursed number
110
In bone and blubber
110
The taste inescapable
110
My thoughts are nonsensical
110
Shrink it further
110
To be skinny I'd ******
110
The burden of weight
110
All myself I hate.
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 10:50 AM UTC
Recently I came to the conclusion that our body's are perfect, it's taken a long time!
The fact is we are all truly beautiful and diverse in shape and size.
I no longer look at the symmetry; lips, forehead, broad or narrow faces, chins, noses, jaw, eyes, cheekbones, how clear and smooth is the skin; how tall or small the frame.
I've come to realise that over time, these comparisons are a form of physical nostalgia; just a combination of shapes reminiscent of the many people we have loved or admired throughout our lives, and that our body image has become a measure of our perception of our physical self, our feelings, our positively and our desires.
I've come to the conclusion that all vessels embody the beauty of the individuals they carry; because everybody is both body and soul.
Feb 11, 2021
Feb 11, 2021 at 10:08 AM UTC
Ana,
I've known you for a while,
And at first I was afraid.
I didn't know what you'd do
Or whether you could help me.
Now I don't see why
Everyone I know is so
Pressed about me
Being friends with you...
I don't know why
they don't like you.
They try to keep me away
From you and your help.
You're a kind person,
And you've helped me.
You make me happy.
You fix my problems.
I hope you can explain
Why people don't like you.
Feb 9, 2021
Feb 9, 2021 at 1:50 PM UTC
if you want the truth about weight loss, listen up:
WEIGHT IS NOT EQUIVALENT TO BEAUTY.
*
*
*
somewhere there’s a young girl
hunched over a toilet bowl,
***** dripping down her chin.
her mascara has been smudged by her tears.
is that beautiful to you?
somewhere there’s a young boy
hating himself because
he doesn’t look like the models
he sees in magazines.
his skin is covered in self-harm scars,
byproducts of the toxicity he sees every day.
is that beautiful to you?
somewhere there’s another young girl
who has turned herself into a walking skeleton.
she’s so skinny that her body
stopped menstruating a long time ago
just to keep her alive.
somehow, she still gets pregnant.
she’s so happy about this pregnancy.
she has something to live for now.
and then the doctor comes in
and tells her that she can’t have her baby.
she is too skinny to bring
that pregnancy to full-term.
if she tried, her baby would die,
and so would she.
she has an abortion.
she holds her friend’s hand
in the waiting room.
this isn’t a close friend,
but she had no one else to call.
she is terrified.
a few weeks later,
she is dead.
she finally gave up.
a 19-year-old girl
is buried in the same ground that
would have held both her and her baby.
a 19-year-old girl
is buried in the same earth
that she should still
be walking on today.
is that beautiful to you?
*
*
*
there are children soaking juice
into cotton ***** and ******* on them
to distract themselves from their hunger.
there are men and women in hospitals
with G-tubes protruding from their noses,
being force-fed whatever life
they have left.
there are students passing out
from pure starvation
when they try to stand up
to leave their classrooms.
*
*
*
and all of those stories?
the girl by the toilet,
the boy with the scarred skin,
the girl who didn’t live past 19?
those aren’t just stories. they’re real.
they are people I know,
or I guess I should say
they are people I once knew.
*
*
*
I was the friend in that waiting room.
I was one of the last people to see that girl alive.
I was one of the last people to hear her voice.
I have had to hold my friends’ hair back
while they throw up everything
in their stomachs.
there are entire nights that I have spent awake
watching my friends to ensure that
they didn’t end their own lives that night.
at such a young age,
I have witnessed more pain
than some of you could even imagine.
and I am far from the only one.
*
*
*
if you still can’t understand this,
I’ll simplify it for you:
WEIGHT IS NOT EQUIVALENT TO BEAUTY.
WEIGHT IS NOT EQUIVALENT TO HEALTH.
THE NUMBER ON A SCALE
DOES NOT LESSEN A PERSON’S VALUE.
WEIGHT IS NOT SOMETHING
THAT DEFINES WHO A PERSON IS.
WEIGHT IS PORTRAYED UNREALISTICALLY.
THE GOALS YOU ARE REACHING FOR
MAY NOT EVEN BE REAL.
“PERFECT” BODIES DON’T EXIST.
SOMEONE’S WEIGHT LOSS OR LACK THEREOF
IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS. AT ALL.
and most importantly,
WEIGHT LOSS
SHOULD NEVER
BE A DEATH SENTENCE.
Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020 at 9:10 PM UTC
I just wish I was thinner
I just wish I was smaller
I just wish I was prettier
I just wish I wasn't me
I wanna cut of pieces of my body
I dont wanna look at it
I wanna throw up
I don't want this body
I can feel the the cold water
I can feel it in my empty stomach
I can feel the muscle ache
I can feel it burning
But it still isn't enough
And it will never be
No matter how hard I try
Because I wasn't enough
Oct 30, 2020
Oct 30, 2020 at 2:08 PM UTC
I’m confused
I don’t know how to be happy
was I happier fat?
Or am I happier skinny?
I can’t tell the difference
it’s all the same
it doesn’t matter what I look like
the pain will stick to my hip
through thick and thin.
literally.
Is it my body? Is it my clothes?
or the way I don’t like the rounded curve of my nose?
no.
it’s none of those.
Sep 6, 2020
Sep 6, 2020 at 3:04 AM UTC
4 am
And the fog blankets the lake.
Critters wake
Crickets chirp
And fawns are alert.
On the surface,
A turtle's head
Emerges from the stillness.
The smooth reflection of
Moonlight is disrupted
As four wild youths
Run to the water.
This is where we belong.
Jul 12, 2020
Jul 12, 2020 at 12:53 PM UTC
You tell me
I’m not that skinny
My BMI tells me
I’m way too skinny
You tell me
My waist isn’t that small
The internet tells me
My waist is small enough for modeling
You tell me
Everyone has size 2
Research tells me
The average size is size 12
You tell me
I’m not enough
Yet too much
I tell myself
I’m not enough
Yet too much.
Jul 1, 2020
Jul 1, 2020 at 6:19 AM UTC
To the women who tell me
That i shouldnt be insecure about my weight
but say
"hmm maybe you should fill up your plate".
(yes thank you.... i do try)
...
To the women who tell me
They'd **** to steal my figure
but say
"it would be nice if you were a little bigger".
..
(thanks I guess?)
.
To the women who told me more
but
my bones were all they saw
(thanks to you)
I dont feel at home in my flesh.
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 7:11 AM UTC
we are expected to be held
to a certain standard of living
in which we maintain our facades
and navigate the web of lies
the society has trained us to say
in certain situations that call for them
at what point did we decide
to care about what society thinks
who decided that skinny was good?
and blond hair and blue eyes was perfect
and a dark tan meant good health
that certain brands meant you were a high-roller
at what point did we start giving a ****
about what the worlds standards were
at what point did we lose ourselves
and become tiny pieces of each other
at what point did we become pieces of everybody else
its sad to see we are made of pieces of others
at what point did we lose ourselves
and forget who we really are
i forgot who i was finally
staring into the glare
of a fiery future of people
who are mindless drones
of society
Mar 24, 2020
Mar 24, 2020 at 12:24 PM UTC
Why aren’t your bones showing?
I don’t see a gap between your thighs
You shouldn’t wear that top
That shirt isn't flattering
Calories, calories, calories
Better start watching them
I think you’ve gained a few
Do your clothes even fit you?
Push past your limits
Watching what you eat is a good thing
Its fine to skip a meal
…Or two
What do I want to look like?
Well, I want my ribs to start showing
My thighs to start thinning
and don’t even get me started on my double chin
I hate myself
I hate my body
I just want to look like her
Why do I have to look like this?
Look in the mirror and tell me what you see
Be careful about the food you eat
Cover your body, nobody wants to see that
Just be skinny!
Mar 12, 2020
Mar 12, 2020 at 4:45 AM UTC
every fiber of my being knows
that you will forever by my love.
i wonder if it's possible
for any one to love you
quite as i do.
our days draw closer to an end
and we've been saying that
we are just friends.
but i think deep down
we both know
that we were made to be lovers.
we were made to be a pair.
i found a home,
cozied next to your soul.
i know, in your arms,
everything will be alright.
in your arms i find
my own personal Promised Land.
Mar 5, 2020
Mar 5, 2020 at 11:18 PM UTC
I used to go digging for my bones
to plant an açaí in the plot.
I used to go fishing for my bones
in a sea of plastic waste.
I used to go hunting for my bones
to eat and eat and eat and eat.
Feb 24, 2020
Feb 24, 2020 at 7:22 PM UTC