#sitcom
chatting faces lit by lens glare,
a sentence ending prompts a takeaway.
flare of the IF isn't seen there,
no knowledge of the observer's pay.
people laughing at sitcoms in the evening
often act out in front of the camera.
when there's none they start modeling,
pretending they know James Cameron.
we've become the same Pamela's as Andersons.
silence in the living room, we still act out.
fire in the kitchen, no change in a person;
food's smoking, sending signals that pout.
called security but they knew already,
that the front lawn didn't mow itself.
and the missus told'im don't be petty,
but he's gonna talk to an Elf on the Shelf.
the elf says, "everyone glances my way
and although my eye is quite bright
they don't see the glint in my eyesight
now ask me what have we caught today"
so the man pulls out his SD card,
ready to make his decision,
and realizes we all look at the camera,
even when we don't know it's there.
and we're all born in a land of televisions
televisions, televisions.
we're all born in televisions,
televisions.
Dec 8, 2025
Dec 8, 2025 at 3:02 AM UTC
in times of
complete
and utter ruin
the image that
runs laps
around my head
is that of:
eric andre
staring
into nothingness
and hannibal buress
screaming
for help
Nov 19, 2018
Nov 19, 2018 at 5:49 AM UTC
Gordon Ramsay decided to pay a visit to Mel's Diner.
When he criticized Mel's food, Mel gave him a shiner.
Now Mel wears an eyepatch because Ramsay jabbed him in the eye with a fork.
He hated Mel's beef and had to have his stomach pumped when he ate Mel's pork.
Ramsay didn't like the waitresses so he told Mel that they had to go.
After years of faithful service, Mel fired Alice, Vera and Flo.
Flo was so angry that she was chomping at the bit.
She told Mel and Gordon Ramsay to kiss her grits.
Ramsay finally had to give up on Mel because his food is so terrible.
Ramsay's job is to help restaurants but he can't perform miracles.
Feb 19, 2018
Feb 19, 2018 at 11:55 AM UTC
She's a crazy blonde and she's funny
She can do no right and she can do no wrong
An astronaut and a 2000 year old genie
In a bottle and somehow they've to get along
Barbara Eden and Larry Hagman are the stars
Of the show hilarious in awkward moments
"Is my master upset with me?" She always asks
Yet coy when he can get whatever he wants
Winks and nobs transformed in the blink of an eye
Appear or disappear "your wish is my command"
Or "master I'm at your service." She'd say but sly
Pony tailed girlish genie often can't comprehend
Master's orders disobeyed as he acts a fool
Uncorrupted innocently gazed hands in my chin
On deserted island genie ******** clad beautiful
I was too young to know to wish for to imagine
Nov 25, 2017
Nov 25, 2017 at 9:59 AM UTC
Those couples on TV
That never look like they would be together
End up being together season after season
Laughing and crying
Loving and loopy
Late nights and early mornings
Sarcasm and seriousness
Give a helping hand when it's needed
Look back laughing about the times they messed up
But never letting it hurt what really matters.
That's my life.
That's my long distance sitcom
Jun 28, 2015
Jun 28, 2015 at 11:06 AM UTC
I decided to be nostalgic
And flip on the Fresh Prince.
The "gentle" comedy cheers me up,
But then again, laughter is infectious.
I'm on a marathon now
With this show on reruns.
Watching every episode
Until one...
You watch a sitcom and expect
To chuckle and cackle along with the audience.
You expect your heart to be lifted
Out of whatever darker place you've been.
You don't expect it to hit so close to home
That your throat closes up
And your lungs burn with the need to breathe
But you can't
Because suddenly where there was the sound
Of deep throated guffaws,
Of bellyaching mirth,
Is only uncontrollable weeping and sobs
You never knew a sitcom could draw.
Will: I didn't need him then, I don't need him now.
Philip: Will...
*Will: No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'ma get through college without him, I'ma get a great job without him, I'ma marry me a beautiful honey, and I'ma have me a whole bunch of kids. I'ma be a better father than he ever was, and I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause there ain't a **** thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids!*
[long pause]
Will: [breaks down] How come he don't want me, man?
That echo in my soul:
How come she don't want me, man?
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 6:54 PM UTC