#sickofit
this country
America
has a lot to learn
from those that have survived
the making
and unmaking
of whiteness
this existential
exponential
build up
of advocacy
for noticing humanity
when it steps out of line
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 19, 2016 at 9:07 PM UTC
I’m sick of it,
The blasted hordes like dried-out gourds
Screaming, cawing for more water.
Feed the flesh, delight the eyes
Give us our shining fantasy. With flippancy
Strip down past all the layers of
My skill my voice my person,
And then take me, break me, make me
Into someone I am not.
Into something that is not.
Pull the paints out.
Imperfections had their day
Yesterday.
Today we’re going all the way.
Make or break you,
Take and shape you:
Tonight you’ll be the idol of the world.
Set the lights, hold your poise.
There’s a goddess on the stage tonight.
Not a person. Not a voice.
It’s the *** doll’s dance tonight.
But we’ll call it art.
I’m sick of it,
The cursed curve,
Numbers up, so clothes come down; and to think I started out
So innocent.
But the eye of the tiger is broken,
The clearness of crystal is crushed -
and those shards just make the perfect dress!
Crystalize, sterilize,
Put me on a different plane.
Separate, distillate,
Don’t let them see your pain.
“If you have to show you’re broken,
It’s gotta be so you can gain.”
Strip away. Everything.
Don’t show them who you really are.
We need an image for the covers
Not a person. Not a windowpane
Into your soul.
So break free, defying,
Undying.
You’re like a god.
No more trying. True flying
Means no more rules for me.
Don’t let them try to
Defy you:
You are now allowed to breathe free.
But only if you push the line. Flaunt your paints and shine your sparkles, leave behind your decency. You stand before a watching globe It is your job to entertain. So really, you are not your own.
The masses are the masters, though they pay.
So no, there’s no way out for you. There’s only forward
Which is downward. And no chance
To just be you. Because
Your freedom isn’t free.
They just can’t take a faulty human. It would be a let-down,
A break-down.
So let us shove you in a box.
Tell you how you have to be.
If you’re gonna keep your money
And your parody of free.
Then take the stage
Play the part.
There’s no more music
No more art.
Just a mad house, a cat house
Diced up platters serving meat.
Kiss my chains, take my gains,
For all my pains
I still ain’t free.
But still. We’ll call it art.
Mar 28, 2016
Mar 28, 2016 at 11:05 PM UTC
I'm tired of me looking at myself and hating what I see.
I'm tired of crying when no one is around.
I'm tired of waiting for that one person to see that I'm hurting.
I'm tired of hoping, praying, screaming that someone could hear me.
It's like I'm in this big white box that has enslaved me.
Unable to see if anyone is looking at me or crying for me.
Unable to hear my screaming cries that ties me to this...cold and damp earth.
This earth filled with people dying, crying trying! trying so hard to fly away from all this.
I'm tired of pretending everything is going to be alright.
I'm tired of lying to myself, hiding, tying to fight my own mind.
Striving trying to laugh at those small but big things that are cutting me down, and tying me to this chair beating me.
All those colors I used to see in that big wide open space is gone.
Those stars bring me deep into my mind were I'm lost and wounded.
I'm tired of hurting.
Seeing anyone else hurt with me like this.
I break for them.
I can't do anything about it.
So I'm here writing this down, siting on my small bed and trying to block out this world.
Crying to myself.
Writing again and again and again.
Is that really all I can do?
I'm painting myself a picture of how I wish everything was.
And it's draining.
I'm failing.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 11:36 AM UTC