#shovel
Playing with rocks,
Digging in socks,
Playing with spades in the sand.
The metal is hot
When the fire green fox
Steps on and burns up your hand.
There’s a hole in your chest.
Did you do your best?
There’s no one to fill in your grave.
Your now lonely friend
Will die in the end;
The one friend that you couldn’t save
Will be found at the end of his cave.
Oct 31, 2024
Oct 31, 2024 at 9:30 AM UTC
It’s difficult to look outside of my my-
-croscopic lens; it just feels like a job
to never have to consider who is
an actual person that should matter to
me. It’s an almost impossible trick,
that only me and most other adults
can forget how we felt growing into
a new body, how we forget ever knowing
We're just like everyone else who also thinks they
aren’t like everyone else because they didn’t have
someone to hold their heavy lovelorn child-hearts.
Jul 4, 2022
Jul 4, 2022 at 10:10 PM UTC
all the people i know
have stained my brain
with their misery and their woe,
don't they know?
i have them too
but i would never shovel them on you
it doesn't seem the right thing to do
when i could give you all love
and give woe the shove
i work it out myself
though there's still pain on the shelf
it's below me, not above
i have pain
because all i give is love
Jan 31, 2021
Jan 31, 2021 at 2:14 PM UTC
—After Sum 41
Through your social distortion of extortion at the
most absurd proportions, I realize I need a doctor
not a proctor for when I test the helicopter you said
you’d never offer to a lowly pauper. You could say it’s my
bad I even tried that so now I cry-laugh in the lilacs while my mom
throws bombs through satcoms to lighten the weather. I should’ve
known better and left the head sever nether that continuously had
me tethered to the emotionally unfettered. I really need to find an
honest man before I enforce a plan of a 1000th trimester abortion.
bortion
bortion
bortion
bortion
bortion
bortion
bortion
bortion
bortion
bortion
bortion
After all the fat lips you gave me I
realized I’m a matchstick baby and don’t
need your rabies to save me. I don’t think I want
to live in your lair with your despair share stares turning to
a bitter taste once I start to face the human waste
falling on my head when I fall in your bed instead of my
king sized comforter singing trumpeter of a simple time—
childhood confined, morality defined by design until I become
the demons as you free them for freedom until they’re just another
lover to call my brother. The hits to my lips caused a casualty
of me casually even though I was never alive actually. Of
all the fists fighting me, it’s you I’d like to remove from society.
Feb 17, 2020
Feb 17, 2020 at 4:25 PM UTC
It was a miracle you chose me and a blessing I took for granted too often.
Maybe I knew I didn't deserve such an angel so I pushed you away in hopes you'd fly to better things.
If you find happiness someplace far from me I beg you to stay there.
Because with my own shattered pieces I hurt those I love and the more that I care the deeper I cut.
Then I awake alone and their blood is on my hands.
Trying to remember how I got covered in so much shame colored brownish-red but I fail to understand.
When I see you lying lifeless there fighting for one more breath I catch my own and shed a tear for the body dying.
You turn your stare away from death to face me instead as your eyes are immediately flooded with fear.
It's not til that moment I realize what I have done to the only person who meant more to me than anything or anyone.
I swear I just wanted to keep you safe and I thought you were safer away from me but somehow you got too close again without me realizing.
Practically under my skin but before I could see I ripped you to shreds unaware of who I was destroying in my haste.
But what scraps were left there I immediately recognized though your features were all out of place.
Now there is not enough of you to put your parts back together and we both know you cant live half a human forever.
I hate myself for digging a grave too busy to notice you return to me in my desperate state.
Gripping a ***** shovel I lost my balance tipping us both over and we turn and twist midair.
I warned you but too late you learn and now not just myself but both of us are far too gone to save.
May 5, 2019
May 5, 2019 at 10:06 AM UTC
Foot meets the metal of a cold shovel
with a sun beaming down
booted foot pushes the *****
into the soft and rooty ground
one mound of dirt
sweat forms above the brow
two mounds of dirt
salty bead slithers down
three mounds of dirt
tuned into the sounds
four mounds of dirt
birds chirp all around
stopped by a thick root
extra force must be used
give that shovel a pogo of boots
and we are at the fifth mound
six and seven are easy
as the hole starts to round
eight nine ten eleven twelve
a tomb has been found
carried your sheet covered corpse
laid you in the hole
cover you with what was uncovered
creating a man made knoll
Six years of memories
laid underneath this red dirt
many years missing
that time gone subvert
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 19, 2018 at 6:38 PM UTC
when i was little ,
dad handed me a shovel and
he handed me
a dress.
he taught me how to dress myself
and then how to garden ,
to dig each hole
in soft
flesh and soil.
ive grown up since,
gotten taller,
and can hold
the shovel by myself ,
so
i dig graves now instead .
ive saved one for dad ,
and ive saved one for me.
six feet deep ,
it’s a bed with no blankets
and it’s
perfect ,
and
it’s mine —
and
i want to be buried in a dress
i can button
all
by myself ,
because
dad also handed me a shotgun.
Jun 20, 2018
Jun 20, 2018 at 1:34 AM UTC
I was in a trench with all my sorrows
When all I needed was a rope
When all I needed was a ladder
You threw me a shovel
Jul 13, 2017
Jul 13, 2017 at 8:54 PM UTC
VVe vvrite words
to fill in the emptiness
as if they vvere concrete patches
for neglected sidevvalks
that nobody vvalks on
Carry on
D A R K poets
Toss that alphabet
tovvards my shovel
let me bury it
forever
Nov 7, 2016
Nov 7, 2016 at 8:51 PM UTC
It's 3am and I am wide awake
I have vicious nightmares at times,
Not horror movie types,
Just ones that I fear the most.
Being buried alive is bad--when it is the one you love it is even worse.
I hear him scooping the dirt in the shovel, and pouring it on me.
"You really fell for it. All I had to do was pretend that I liked you, and you fell right in."
He chuckles, as another pile of dirt is added.
Im begging him
"Please, what do you want? I'll do whatever you want, just let me out! "
He chuckles again, "You say that....they always say that... But you know what? You lie, all you women just lie your way into jobs, relationships, and hell, even in marriage! You think I'm going to suddenly believe you out of all of them?! "
The casket is slightly sinking from all the dirt that is piled on now.
I'm sobbing uncontrollably as I realize my fate.
"I'm different, you said it yourself. When I met you, you said--"
"Well I lied. I'm getting pretty good at it. Practice makes perfect."
I continue to cry, and my one last attempt at freedom--
"I love you. "
He stops shoveling, and with a raggedy breath,
"...What? "
I open my heart for my last plea,
"I give my heart fully to anyone that accepts my quirks and even the weird parts about me. In the brief time we knew each other, you laughed at my corny jokes, smiled at me, and even wanted to know about me. So even as I am about to die,
Why would I lie with my last words? I might as well say what I truly feel because that is what I do. I fall headfirst in love with someone I barely know, and that is why I always get heart broken no matter what. So what I just said I meant it. "
He paused, then he tosses the shovel down beside the hole, and he jumps down into my grave,
"Well, I--
My eyes snap open.
It's 3am and I'm wide awake.
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 5:11 AM UTC