#shootme
If someone would ask me if I would rather be shot or have my heart broken.
I would say “shoot me”because i would rather die than have my heart broken.
having your heart break into the smallest pieces once, is enough for me.
They say time heals your wounds
so tell me why then doesnt mine heal?
Sep 20, 2020
Sep 20, 2020 at 10:28 AM UTC
It's right there
In a perfect little bow tie but my own desperate, clambering need to be the first to get there leaves me with nothing
All that's left now is the shredded remains..
Scraps -- from which no nourishment can be salvaged.
No morsel contained.
(It is in this moment I realise the terror that resides within myself)
Haunting my endeavours, creeping up and into my personal life...
Weaving it's sickness as a woven quilt to my very skin!
Exposed for all to see
Somehow mortally wounding.
My need for absolution is blinding in a frantic and overwhelming kind of way... I try to fight it but this weakness is unyielding in it's quiet persistent insistence
Like subliminal messages at times it stems seemingly from nowhere-- Polluting the hopes and dreams of those who love me
I feel that I am always improving. (Or at least trying to...)
Striving for a better life
But I feel faulted inside...
A mistake or flaw now too deeply buried to bring to cessation...
It's unresolved conflicts still taking toll on my personal affairs
Still feeding it's sickness back into me...
I feel weak but somehow complete
Lost but not yet alone...
And I think for just a moment before it passes that maybe things are not so fleeting?
But come the end of the day
I know
It must just be me...
Why wouldn't it be?
I ruin it for myself...
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 8:32 PM UTC
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Jan 24, 2015
Jan 24, 2015 at 11:14 AM UTC