#shone
You own every single piece of me
Every part
The only one with all of my heart
I have given everything I have to you within my core
I still feel as if I should have given so much more
Because you deserve sun to never set or say goodbye
Deserve not the moon or stars but the whole entire sky
The love you have shown since the day we met
An unrecipricable gift for which i will forever be in debt
There are no words to express depth of my gratitude
Sure you have no clue cause of my constantly bad mood
As hard as I try being someone worthy of your caress
Each tense day that passes you like me less and less
I cannot blame you for dwindling adoration
Hard cherishing a girl who voices no appreciation
I have noticed the difference in behavior for awhile
Remain unable to coax out your smile
I lost the ability to conjure your laughter
It's vanished along with happy-ever-after
The years spent making love feel like a dream
Unsure if I am remembering wrong
Was it as amazing as to me it seems?
Gone are moments we were free from fear and cares
Happy as long as the other was there
Now all we do
Argue and fight
Pretty sure you're starting to get sick of my sight
I leave marks on surface of your magnificent skin
Drawing blood out
You won't let me in
Scratching hopes I'll somehow break through
If I dig my nails deep enough I'll get to the real you
I do not want to hurt you but I can't seem to stop
The things you say leave my head spinning like a top
I have explained before you have nothing from me to hide
The sole element I need is for you to let me inside
You have never given me a full chance to be understanding
In the past I was strict and demanding
But that was back before I knew what forever was like
Sweat and shake when those withdrawals strike
You have seen me change so drastically
Over time
I'm not even the same me
And even when I would express aggravation
Forgave each mistake without hesitation
For I had known certainly you were "The One"
Locked eyes and right there my search was done
Our romance has survived lots of ups and downs
Used to wear mostly smiles but they've switched to frowns
I am the reason why it's difficult to get along
Finally realized it's me who's in the wrong
For so long pride has rendered me blind
Justifying words no matter how unkind
For every hurtful action came up with an excuse
Truly believed you deserved the abuse
For damage you did and the lies you told
That doesn't give me the right to act cold
You have served your sentence:
A year spent on your own
A prison I built and left you in alone
As punishment for tears you made me cry
Slowly breaking my heart
Not telling me why
For the fraction of life I wasted in chains
I washed different parts of myself down the drain
But wasn't you drowning my sorrows
Hand pouring remorse on not just today but all tomorrows
Haunted unforgettable pain
Memory of what no longer remained
I attempted to seal sadness within
No one got a glimpse of the agony within
I was sure would eventually go away
I ignored the ache and pushed through it each day
But the longer I pretended was just fine
Crazier it drove me knowing you weren't mine
Tortured by the fact was the one who chose to leave
To deceieve myself thinking you would change was plain naive
But truly believed you were ready to be done
It came as a surprise when after me you didnt run
I assume it is because i acted like I moved on
Too wounded to let witness my distress with you gone
Determined to never go through same ordeal twice
Trusting nature i was forced to ultimately sacrifice
I put up walls
Blocked ricocheting echoes of your voice
That's not all I barricaded out with my choice
In order to be unshackled from terrible fear
Hope and happiness also had to disappear
Solitude was total freedom at first
That relief quickly turned into a curse
I noticed resolve diminishing bit by bit
Something missing from my world and you were it
I yearned for moments of comfort and bliss
Magic contained in your enchanting kiss
Irresistible drawn to despite what you lacked
Caved and despite my instinct took you back
No one else could possibly make me feel the way you do
I accepted a relationship where my heart stays torn in two
But problem is we've had too much room to grow
Into people hardly recognize but know
I am still Amanda and you are still Paul
Infatuation has not wavered at all
But I have grown bitter
Full of anger
Who is responsible for morphing me into a stranger?
A glance in the mirror shows a twisted reflection
I can't pinpoint the exact imperfection
I feel ugly and unworthy of love
Far away from my image I forcefully shove
Why do you tolerate violence and greif?
Patient when in return offer no relief
If you saw the picture I've become you'd depart
Before once again I leave pits on your heart
You hold me in devoted embrace
Piercing with the fearful expression on your face
You love me (at least promise you do)
I cannot fully trust though I try to
I cannot comprehend a single trait you see
I am a screaming mess and you stick around me
You are a miracle that through darkest hours shone
Truthfully very best guy I have ever known
Dec 24, 2019
Dec 24, 2019 at 4:34 AM UTC
the night Polaris kissed me
i was a princess trapped in a tower
hair too short to reach the window frame
let alone to be a lifeline for salvation
i could see them from every pane of glass
i was kept behind
i had been blowing kisses
to Polaris
as if they were my lover
for several seasons past
that star and the space i was contained
were the only things that stayed the same
and they
they they they
came a long way just to shine a little
a tiny
tiny tiny tiny
light crowned in a foreign world
still substance enough to
return a kiss
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 18, 2019 at 9:51 AM UTC
I have never clipped the wings
of angels, I write with a fallen quill
on every feather adoring you, every
sorrow that put a weight on my mind.
Then heavy with my burden do they
look upon the pain woven in memory
on those parchments of flight.
Carrying away my weight as your own.
I gaze above as you flew ever closer to
the sun. Your feathers becoming less
with every expenditure of my pain,
but still you ascended higher for me.
Then as your wings where but memories
and you fell from upon height, I caught
you. And you smiled, ill always fly your
troubles away, our eyes shone like stars.
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 13, 2017 at 6:37 PM UTC
I didn’t know
When you would show
Your smiling face to me.
Time went on
Now you're gone,
I should’ve shone my smile on thee.
You’ll never know
How far we’d go
And now we’ll never see.
Why did I wait
Loneliness is poor bait
So much relies on timing.
Jun 26, 2017
Jun 26, 2017 at 4:36 PM UTC
Her countenance shone
As if a million sun's;
Warming mine soul
Heating mine abode.
©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Earl jane Nagley dedication
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 4:12 PM UTC
There were lights
To guide the way
Stars that shine
Shone in the day
Closed my eyes
To think of them
Inner light
Shone like a gem
If only light
Could always stay
I would wait
A million days.
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 5:57 PM UTC
My life was steeped in darkness
Twisted trees blackly cracked the grey sky
I didn't know there could be such brightness
Until I found that place
That place of colour
And light
And fun
And love
I wanted it
I'd always wanted it
Without even knowing what I wanted
I tried to bring brightness to my twisted world
I strived for so long and so hard
But they couldn't understand
And the brightness was lost to all
Only then did I understand
I was the darkness
The darkness was me
And that was okay
Because the world needs darkness
But it also needs brightness
So I returned to darkness
And let the brightness shine without my corruption
But a little brightness shone in me
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 8:46 PM UTC
My heart rusted unused,
What once beat love
Only has cobwebs of regrets,
It is fragile to the touch
Love rusted away, what once
Gleamed,
Shone,
Beat strong,
Now it hardly moves
An engine of love unused
It needs to be buffed
By love from another heart,
To see what is beneath the tarnish
A broken heart, now in need of use
For now its rusting away,
A heart tarnished where love once beat.
Jul 25, 2014
Jul 25, 2014 at 10:41 AM UTC
you ripped my heart
out of my chest and swallowed
it whole on a day where the
sun shone brightly; despite the
clouds hanging over
my head, there's still
a sunburn where you
used to
touch me.
Jun 1, 2014
Jun 1, 2014 at 12:26 PM UTC
Moon was bright that night
Stars shone and wheeled over us
How could we go wrong?
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 12:18 PM UTC