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ლ(´ڡ'ლ) This   is  comedy   ovah  here      don't  get all  pissy. ...   If 50 is the new 30  ? '  , then what the hell does that make 18? …What, negative three? I can’t touch that. That's a felony   AND  a math problem.  turns  out  Judge doesn’t accept algebra as a defense. 50 is the new 30, huh? Okay, okay, then 18 must be.... the new embryo. ?   Which explains why every time I have to place an order at a fast food joint or something, anytime I gotta interact with these little ******** dealing with a ****** teenager these days, am I right? How do these little ******* even get jobs? Who would hire them? They're just like, “Yeah, let's sink the whole ******* business right now slow  quit   who's with  me  ? .” Comes with the built-in torpedo.  Slow  quit ? I got  socks older  than  you . I feel like I’m babysitting a fetus with cyborg Wi-Fi. I go to get the   last few hairs that I got left cut and , you know, this one She  doesn't even want to put down the phone. I'm like, “Are you serious? You're gonna try to cut my hair?” The stylist’s got one hand on the clippers and the other glued to TikTok. I ’m like, “Sweetheart, unless you’re livestreaming my bald spot, can we focus pls?” You know, I'm not really crazy about how my ears look up there either, but I would like to keep ‘em both.  jeez Oh my goodness. Can I see the manager? She   fires back , “Well, I thought Karens were all females.” 18? That’s the new *******  rhats what that is ? . You're not an adult at 18,  ! you’re some kind of… a larva with three points on your driver’s license. 50 is the new 30? Yeah, my *** And my Pinto is the new Learjet. 50 is the new 30, huh? You know, I don't remember needing so many ***** pills at 30. But, you know, then again, I AM 50. I don't remember too much. Cept  for  I aint  really lookin  forward  to bangin a 50  yr old  even if  she does  try and  act thirty....  just  sayin ... Then what the hell does that make 80?    You  do realize  ...  That means my great-aunt Edna must be the newest pin-up girl.  ah  jeez Somebody put a lock on the nurseries—shits about to get weird.   Seriously  though  HOW   is it   supposed to be like the new 30 anyway? What are we talking here mentally? Is that supposed to be a compliment? The new roller derby champion? great-aunt Edna, posing with a feather boa  a long cigarette  and a  triple olive martini, suddenly the height of “saggy” ****  now ? Oh God, please tell me that's not a thing. Please tell me we're NOT  doing that.     Am  I right ? tip  your  waitress ,  try  the  fish  ....  I'll  be  here  all  week .
0
Sep 23, 2025
Sep 23, 2025 at 2:27 AM UTC
OldeMrHoover
WHO says 50 is the new 30 ?
ლ(´ڡ'ლ) This   is  comedy   ovah  here      don't  get all  pissy. ...   If 50 is the new 30  ? '  , then what the hell does that make 18? …What, negative three? I can’t touch that. That's a felony   AND  a math problem.  turns  out  Judge doesn’t accept algebra as a defense. 50 is the new 30, huh? Okay, okay, then 18 must be.... the new embryo. ?   Which explains why every time I have to place an order at a fast food joint or something, anytime I gotta interact with these little ******** dealing with a ****** teenager these days, am I right? How do these little ******* even get jobs? Who would hire them? They're just like, “Yeah, let's sink the whole ******* business right now slow  quit   who's with  me  ? .” Comes with the built-in torpedo.  Slow  quit ? I got  socks older  than  you . I feel like I’m babysitting a fetus with cyborg Wi-Fi. I go to get the   last few hairs that I got left cut and , you know, this one She  doesn't even want to put down the phone. I'm like, “Are you serious? You're gonna try to cut my hair?” The stylist’s got one hand on the clippers and the other glued to TikTok. I ’m like, “Sweetheart, unless you’re livestreaming my bald spot, can we focus pls?” You know, I'm not really crazy about how my ears look up there either, but I would like to keep ‘em both.  jeez Oh my goodness. Can I see the manager? She   fires back , “Well, I thought Karens were all females.” 18? That’s the new *******  rhats what that is ? . You're not an adult at 18,  ! you’re some kind of… a larva with three points on your driver’s license. 50 is the new 30? Yeah, my *** And my Pinto is the new Learjet. 50 is the new 30, huh? You know, I don't remember needing so many ***** pills at 30. But, you know, then again, I AM 50. I don't remember too much. Cept  for  I aint  really lookin  forward  to bangin a 50  yr old  even if  she does  try and  act thirty....  just  sayin ... Then what the hell does that make 80?    You  do realize  ...  That means my great-aunt Edna must be the newest pin-up girl.  ah  jeez Somebody put a lock on the nurseries—shits about to get weird.   Seriously  though  HOW   is it   supposed to be like the new 30 anyway? What are we talking here mentally? Is that supposed to be a compliment? The new roller derby champion? great-aunt Edna, posing with a feather boa  a long cigarette  and a  triple olive martini, suddenly the height of “saggy” ****  now ? Oh God, please tell me that's not a thing. Please tell me we're NOT  doing that.     Am  I right ? tip  your  waitress ,  try  the  fish  ....  I'll  be  here  all  week .
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