#sexualassualt
to my mother who was disappointed in me for losing my virginity mother, i did not have *** i was *****
to my father who said i brought shame upon family for having *** at 14. i did not have *** i was *****
to my brother who was angry and digested at me. i did not have *** i was *****
to my loving cousin who believes im not a ****** anymore. your right im not but i did not have *** i was *****
to his friends we didn't had *** he ***** me.
to my lover who got mad at me for not wanting to do anything. i never had *** before but i was *****
to everyone he told that we had *** we didn't had *** he ***** me.
to my ****** that somehow convinced himself that we both had *** even after i begged you to stop. we didn't. you ***** me
Nov 21, 2020
Nov 21, 2020 at 4:21 PM UTC
Tried to wash the scars embedded on me
Submerged the voices that left me haunted
Drowned the visions from the tall red oak tree
Remembering when you asked to “flaunt it”
I tried to scream, but choked on nonsense words
Your malevolent laughs replays in my mind
No evidence, but me and the blue birds
How hard is it for one to just be kind?
You left me with pain, you left me to cry
I can never get my innocence back
Yet, I still love you, but I don’t know why
I may not remember all that happened,
But my body does, my body remembers it all
May 5, 2020
May 5, 2020 at 3:09 PM UTC
Regret,
One word,
Timeless damage condensed to
Six letters.
That are scented like cheap, Dollar store, perfume
Titled “Heavenly”.
The stench that you burned into my nostrils,choking me,
Suffocating me.
A word whose name taste like poison on my battered tongue,
Bitterly sweetless,
Just like the ***** pouring like fountains from your fingertips,
Sugar-laced manipulation.
It’s adorned with purple, the colour of the rich,
Of royalty,
Yet, worn by a wayward, penniless, and perverted sinner,
Guiltless, guilty.
It’s a word that purrs, “You’re so mature” as its filthy palms grasp my flesh,
Robbing me.
Robbing me straight from the cradle I slept so ignorantly,
So soundly.
Stripping me naked as I was born, yet wasn’t I just yesterday?
Too young.
Far too young to carry the weight of your skin,
Your sins,
My regret.
Jan 30, 2020
Jan 30, 2020 at 11:07 PM UTC
I was only 10 the day you took my innocence,
Unknowing of your evil intent
I trusted your sneaky smile
your deceitful words
I remember the feeling of your hands around my neck,
The way you held me down
Against my will
I tried to stop you
I was too weak
just a kid
And I cried out to you to stop,
But you didn’t.
Dec 5, 2019
Dec 5, 2019 at 7:35 PM UTC
I lay here,
I count my sheep just like a good girl.
I smile with my teeth and dress in nice clothes.
I'm your Little Miss Perfect.
But I'm not as innocent as you think.
Not after he forced me against his sheets,
and tied me to the void of hate
Sep 27, 2019
Sep 27, 2019 at 9:45 AM UTC
Poisonous resentment,
Dripping down my esophagus.
Like the salvia you coaxed down my throat,
Icy cold and bitter.
Purple chrysanthemums blooming,
On my pale, once innocent flesh.
Eyes fogged by deception,
I am unable to escape you.
The seed of regret plants itself in my heart,
Roots of the weeds rip through me,
Polluting the heart, tainting the blood.
Paralysed, you force me down and tear me apart.
Fog clears my vision
just like drug laced honey you fed me
I see your true form in the window of my future
Pathetic old man, I’m not afraid of you.
Your claws saturated with manipulation
Grasp and tear at my flesh
But you can’t trap me here any more
I’m not your hostage
Sep 25, 2019
Sep 25, 2019 at 9:43 PM UTC
Women live their lives being defined as a little slash in a box labeled “no” written on a torn slip of paper. As if the way our pencil feels about another’s paper means we aren’t worthy of love at all.
Some people handle their “no” decently, and go on about their days with a tiny knot in their gut, and others change into the people our parents warned us about.
Most of the time, these people are the ones that take it too far. They shove unwilling answers down throats and push ideas into shaking heads. If our mouths scream no so do our bodies.
Then there are those that don’t even bother to pass the note. They know that they are built in the right way, we can’t leave even if we want to.
The way she chooses to dress does not tell you if it is consensual. Her body resembles the most valuable type of gold and when “men” like you take advantage of that, it hurts. It’s heartbreaking in so many ways.
You mock her worth with ****** knuckles and furrowed brows. A voice that has women trembling at the thought alone. You would rather let us live our lives looking over a shoulder than accept an answer you were hoping not to get. Forcing yourself between crying lips and thighs.
You may be satisfied when it is over but you will never have enough. Raising yet another fist and crushing a trust that was once so strong. There is never an excuse for actions so careless.
Who I choose to **** will never define me, but who you choose to respect will always define you.
Mar 28, 2019
Mar 28, 2019 at 7:17 PM UTC
Your house was the only safe haven when she met you. At home, she was beat. At school, she was beat, so she couldn't tell the difference between "tough love" and "learning her place" bruises. When she met you, she was attached to her big sister. Her sister told her to keep you company while her sister gave herself away again and again. You watched her while she slept. She woke up in your arms from a nightmare not realizing that the reality she woke up to was the nightmare that would haunt her for the rest of her life. You pushed her down and ripped away every sense of safety she had ever felt. She could hear them in the other room. They sounded like they were having so much fun and all she could think about was why was she not having fun? Why did your breath on her neck make her want to swallow herself? Your hands on her neck made her wish she were already dead? Your hands in between her legs made her wonder what was wrong with her? Why was she not enjoying this? Of course she couldn't tell her sister. How could the little girl ruin that for her best friend? After the first time, you got more confident. You brought toys of torture that you use to tear apart her sanity and replace it for hatred for everything that made her a woman. She has learned to detest her hips because you looked her in the eyes and told her you couldn't resist them. How did that 10 year old process that? She learned to cover up all her curves and stay out of everyone's way. She learned to never say no because that just made things worse. She has learned to hide away. If you ask her about it today, she will deny it because she doesn't want to face the reality that you broke her. If you asked me today how I knew this horrid story, I would say, she is me.
Jan 11, 2019
Jan 11, 2019 at 1:15 PM UTC
i've always been angry
it has been a burning in my bones
an acid in my stomach
a restless warrior in my head.
some may say
i came into this world
looking for a fight.
but i'd argue that when i was born
the fight found me.
it was passed down
from generations of women
with hands branded into their bodies
and tongues cut out of their bloodied mouths.
i yearn for rest
but their stories push me back into the ring.
there is work to be done
fights to be won
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 7:35 PM UTC
There is a pit that has made a home in my stomach
it's been living there, growing there
since the day you laid your hands on me
the day you slid your hands to places they had no right to be
the night you took advantage of the position
you knew you had
ever since then there are words that make my head foggy
and there are boys who can put me **** close to cardiac arrest
just by looking
for a little too long
you called it miscommunication
you called it regret
you called it asking for it
I call it assault
I call it waking up at 3 AM every morning
in a cold sweat, another nightmare
I call it scrubbing myself raw every night in the shower
trying to rid of the skin cells your fingers grazed
I call it jumping whenever my kind boy reaches for my hand
out of love
you are a man made of dirt
you are a lion
so why are you preying on butterflies
I don't know when I allowed you to tear off my wings but I am reclaiming them
today.
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 12:05 AM UTC
Time is the difference
Between crying when a boy
Touches you between your legs,
Because he wouldn’t listen to no,
And laughing when a man
Traces gentle pictures on your skin
Because he waited for your yes.
Jun 29, 2018
Jun 29, 2018 at 11:15 AM UTC
Your words were meant to break me
taming me so that I was easier to swallow
chaining me to you
but I refused to become a slave
to yet another master
whose eyes greedily undressed women
and hands invaded lands they had no claim to
These limbs of mine
were not made to be shackled
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 9:53 PM UTC
Oh I wish you were dead
Throbbing behind my eyeballs
A fire and bile climbing my throat
Remember the last time you touched me
All I remember were ****** torn up sheets
© Sofia Villagrana 2018
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 7, 2018 at 10:57 AM UTC
These past few days have been that quiet sort of sad that makes you ache, with a dash of throbbing pain here and there.
I know I thrive on your pain.
I wear your suffering like crown jewels for all to admire. I've taken advantage of your stress and bitterness for my own small portion of fame, however minor.
and you've always ended up enjoying your part of the ride.
But darling,
This is a different kind of pain, and I know that.
You know the parts of your body that he bruised in his violent thirst for ***
You know the person he reduced you to.
You lived without your dignity for
so
long.
He was wrong, honey.
He was very, very wrong.
And you're not crazy.
He may have treated you as if you were nothing, but it took you being an
incredible
something
to leave him, and then stay left.
I know it's hard to forget that feeling when you'd have to face the mirror and see your naked body covered in bruises and soreness, and have to exist daily with the consequences of his aggressive "love" all on your own.
But honey, you did it.
He may have been able to make you feel damaged and broken, but there is so much more to you beyond any of that.
Every day at your backcountry job, you're reminded of how cruel men can be. How hungry they can be to bask in vulnerability and exploit dignity.
But here you are still.
What a fighter you are.
-Anonymouse Freak
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017 at 5:01 PM UTC
I’m fine,
thank you.
So talk about your demons…
give my your share,
you asked if I loved anyone,
but you wouldn't understand-
trying to love yourself.
Instead you lied about studying psychology
and asked my bra size;
my eyes were as big as that full moon,
when I watched you and him
skinny dip in that pool.
I never would have been able to predict
what would happen next,
He was ****** off and said-
“Don’t have ***
Drove around in your car,
held hostage
the next day
I never had any idea
as to what I should say-
It was MY body,
but not your dichotomy to know
where those parts were
stripped of my soul,
to reveal what hurt-
& you impregnated me with an omen
that visits my sleep every night.
It has your ******* sapphire eyes
and licks its chops.
“You led me on” It says
(defending a child predator)
Next,
harassing me for gas money,
Didn't I give you enough?
your existence is a heavy
debt in my mind
I lost a friend,
my ****** addicted friend.
They detest me
but defended you-
can't help but wonder
if god's the *********
who makes me bleed.
Was the thievery of purity,
enough to succeed in creating imagery?
I speak of how I lost my dignity & sanity.
But-
your toxicity never strains itself from my veins.
Aug 26, 2017
Aug 26, 2017 at 9:09 PM UTC
He just wanted to help
An arm is grabbed
Her heart skips a beat
No, not good, not good...
She can't move
Can't breathe
Inhale, exh-
Inhale, exh-
Can't breathe
She is red, airbrushed porcelain
Can't meet his eyes
Says please don't touch me
He laughs
Please don't touch me
Her body is shaking
Her mind is racing
P-please
He lets go
And she's still alone
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 4:27 PM UTC