#severe
I know I should start
but my bed is too soft,
my phone too loud,
and honestly, math can wait.
I’ll do it later.
Yeah, later.
Maybe after this video
or this game
or after I finish staring at nothing.
The clock is ticking,
my brain says panic,
but my body says nah, chill.
Tomorrow looks nice anyway.
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 12:14 PM UTC
snow orchid
snow rose
you have dyed all
in your
silence
and i have inherited
nothing
in your
spirit
snow
where is
my flower?
Dec 19, 2025
Dec 19, 2025 at 12:39 AM UTC
dogged-king,
of marble and stone
dogged king,
of marrow and bone
stomach,
swollen
with sour words
Dec 17, 2025
Dec 17, 2025 at 1:26 PM UTC
I will make
tiny bets
on brown sugared eyes
and a lightly lifted chest
We will make
one tiny bet
on a month with no name
and a boy,
with no head
Dec 16, 2025
Dec 16, 2025 at 3:30 PM UTC
the last button on my shirt
just wont let go
twist and tear
and still it holds
the last button on my shirt?
tough as bone.
splinter and shear
and still it holds
the last button on my shirt
a crimson flow
a pupil of thread
watching home
Dec 16, 2025
Dec 16, 2025 at 12:09 PM UTC
look at how
they spared you
as the tide
drew
as the snowcaps
shrank
the waves
crashed
Dec 16, 2025
Dec 16, 2025 at 6:55 AM UTC
frayed edge
of the fleck
wavering
near my neck
you have implicated
the minute
and the proud
Dec 16, 2025
Dec 16, 2025 at 6:53 AM UTC
Oh where, oh where is the puppeteer?
Surely he's moved on to another career
Up and left a lot of us just hanging here
Swung gently by a lonely gust of meandering air
As we masquerade as some fleshy chandelier
What could've happened to cause a reaction so severe?
No surprise to the wise that a why has never been made clear
Knowing nothing but to my right is doubt, to my left is fear
Needless to say, that's all I'm privy to hear
Day in and day out, long enough that it's easier to tally by the year
I was unaware that a situation could even be cavalier
I've held onto memories that now serve as an unwanted souvenir
And no one can know for sure, but I believe I just shed my last tear
But that doesn't mean the emotions disappear, no, they just blur and cohere
With a jump scare they premiere as unfamiliar in a mirror
But I have no desire, I don't have the will to explore a new frontier
Hey, look here, is that salvation or an end that draws near?
I'm going to stick around just to be clear on who's here
Cause I've been fool before by an imposter Paul Revere
©2024
Jan 28, 2024
Jan 28, 2024 at 1:58 AM UTC
I am a terrible person for what I know I have to do
But I am only human and deserve to be happy too
I am used to depression
It's been a long time friend
But as long as we are together it surely won't end
Not because you abuse my body or my feelings
But because you aren't helping the **** with which I'm dealing
You may be sweet but you make me feel sour
Quiet because it is easier to cower
Than to pick a fight that is impossible to win
Aggravation works it's way further under my skin
You are supposed to have my back
Clearly you do not
You throw me under the bus without a second thought
I wish I would have waited before rushing in headfirst
It seems with bad judgement I am hopelessly cursed
An impatient creature
Now both are paying the price
Because I am too foolish to stop and think twice
I know you will be angry
You have every right to be
But I have faith that in the future you will see
That this decision really is for the best
It only gets harder the more time we invest
I know deep cuts now are engraved on your soul
It wasn't my intention to carve out a hole
But attraction has slowly shifted to dismay
"I love you" is a phrase that toward you I'll never say
The way I looked at you changed after our first fight
And has only grown worse since that night
I held on hoping situation would improve
And one day of your actions I'd actually approve
But our relationship dies a little bit more
Each time you do something that I deplore
My eyes are finally open to who you really are
Too bad to see it took getting this far
This whole time I've held on wishfully thinking
It will get better but problems aren't shrinking
I'm ready for this to be over
Yearn to be free
Keeping your emotions safe is mentally draining me
A grave is already dug now it is time to lay to rest
The remains of our romance
Suffered cardiac arrest
You can yell if you want to or call me names
Whatever it takes to break these heavy chains
I have bottled up the truth for far too long
Pretending it might work despite it feeling wrong
I ignored my instinct in fear of loneliness
But these gnawing doubts have gotten too large to repress
Obnoxious ocurrences are a routine indication
Of our incompatibility
Leading to irritation
It seems we are both holding the other down
Not only do you not make me smile
You widen my frown
I am fully aware I frustrate you as well
Without saying one word by your expression I can tell
I don't want to be the source of your despair
But the weight of commitment has become too much to bear
I have wanted to cry out loud but kept my mouth closed
But these silenced concerns beg to be exposed
I think the moment is past overdue for you to hear
The honest thoughts crowding my skull no matter how severe
I apologize for hurting you
Hope you believe it wasn't my plan
I would stick it out awhile longer but am not sure that I can
Jul 18, 2021
Jul 18, 2021 at 7:41 AM UTC
Disorder
The word still echoes in my head
Surreal and complicated
Such a heavy word
Even though it's been almost a year
Since things were so bad
And I heard the words:
Anxiety Disorder
Eating Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Followed by the words:
Depression
Phobia
Medication
Each one like a lightning strike
I can feel them in my veins
But the most frightening
Was hearing the prefix:
Severe
Jun 3, 2019
Jun 3, 2019 at 9:31 PM UTC
Age 15 the beginning and the end
Age 19 and the scars still haven't mend
I was a fool with nothing to lose
Letting lust become my muse
It happened fast without protection
In his eyes lay no affection.
A month passes with no monthly time
The panic inside me starts to climb.
Lie to my mother to get a test
Sure enough there's a baby in the nest.
Inside my stomach lay a beating heart
Anxiety and depression begin to start.
Scared beyond belief and still at school
Feeling like I had just been a tool.
Could I handle being a single mother
Abortion? I had to pick one or the other.
Or maybe I didn't have to after all.
Spotting begins to start and I start to bawl.
To many emotions in too young a girl.
My body killed a life, guilt begins to swirl.
Age 15 the beginning and the end
Age 15 and made a life ascend.
Age 19 and the scars still haven't mend
Age 19 and still no way to amend.
May 11, 2019
May 11, 2019 at 7:52 PM UTC
1:00 am, 3:00 am ... most nights,
thirty minutes without warning,
restless air, chokes the pipes
when controlled, it explodes in bits
of yellow, orange , dark red and gray
skull seems to crack ... or , is it breaking now?
a darkness follows a wheezing,
desiring to spew all malaise
expelling bad air, while chasing fresh air
praying a stillness soon rules .... . but , no,
the painful exertion persists
that disturbing noise just goes on,
and racks one's whole being ... one's world
every rib quivers ... every fiber throbs
eyes and veins start to bulge
as if to burst on their own...
,, ,, , for a while, a calm occurs ... yet ,
another dreaded episode lurks...
on a dark, restless night such as this,
one can only imagine
~ ~ ~ the undulating waves ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ and the blue waters ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ of the tranquil sea ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~
Sally
~ ~ ~
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
March 20, 2019
#dreaded episodes #malaise #severe cough
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 1:39 AM UTC
It feels like darkness surrounding me.
It feels like monsters are everywhere.
It feels like I can’t do anything to stop it.
It feels like I’m saying too much.
It feels like I’m not allowed to be here.
It feels like I can’t stop repeating myself.
If feels like I’m Broken.
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 1:41 PM UTC
I believe that every conscious being travels this road
Where nothing is completely given or reached
Where everything completely stop but never goes
This road diverged into either the left path or right
plagued with the decision of making a choice
The pressure of that inner voice
Speaking to you
of the consequences of each action
the good never out weigh the bad
The consequences never worth the results
The action of always sacrificing something in terms of ganging
It is the road that you cannot venture away
No matter where you turn
you always end up returning
this road is one who tampers with your mental capacity
Your morality
Your happiness
Your individuality
It happened too those before
and will to those after me
what a progressional tragedy
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 2:50 AM UTC
I don't know where
it stops
or
starts
starts. starts. starts.
Again.
And Again.
Writing TO DO list.
-Laundry
-Dishes
-Bills
**** Myself
And the pen
.
The hand hovers and the mind _____________
-Bills
-Kgul Mytyfw
-BILLS
-Sweep
-Mop
Jul 22, 2016
Jul 22, 2016 at 1:20 AM UTC
The face and body of a million others
because of the 21st chromosome.
The movements and quirks of a million others
because of a little spectrum.
The testers and medication of a million others
because of a tiny chemical.
Down syndrome. Autism. Diabetes.
The most loving person I know.
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 5:14 PM UTC
Cut me again
Serrated incision
Sever my vein
A bladed decision
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 5:24 PM UTC