#setbacks
And when things get good, I push it away,
And when I finally understand, I forget,
And when I find myself, I'm suddenly so lost.
Why am I so lost?
Apr 23
Apr 23, 2026 at 2:53 PM UTC
A year of cleansing
One year to heal
A journey by myself
That never fully became real
I over packed for the trip
And forgot my necessities
I couldn't figure out the airport
I let my anxieties get the best of me
And anxiety is so selfish
Taking all of my best moments
Leaving me empty for everyone else
I'm no fun to go home with
So maybe today we try again
Taking a more fluid path
This is the year it's all gonna click
Or I face twenty nines wrath
Oct 11, 2025
Oct 11, 2025 at 10:33 AM UTC
A negative mindset
Breeds a negative life,
One full of pain,
Disappointment, and strife.
But what about the woman
Who wakes every day,
Hope clutched in her hands,
Ready for change her way?
Right when she’s comfy,
Her things all laid out,
The clouds come rolling,
To wash her smile out.
When she’s content
With the film’s final cut,
The universe laughs-
And ***** it all up.
What about that woman
You call too dark?
She’s given her everything,
Sacrificed her spark.
Yeah, maybe she’s dramatic,
And small troubles feel big.
But they would to you too,
If you saw how she did.
Still she keeps moving,
Her scars in plain sight.
A warrior through the day,
But a ghost every night.
But keep manifesting, dear,
Rewards are only for joy.
Be punished for your fear,
The pain's yours to enjoy.
Sep 23, 2025
Sep 23, 2025 at 12:27 PM UTC
She sits with her silence,
Bound by her thoughts.
Life continues anyway,
But join in, she does not.
Though she would like to,
It takes time to decide,
And once she gets ready,
There’s no room in the ride.
So maybe she’ll start walking,
Or she’ll stay frozen in fear.
She wants to go somewhere else,
But she seems to be stuck here.
She’s found a doorway
Just a handful of times,
But every time she moves closer,
Further away it flies.
There must be a lesson
In this self-aware prison,
A continuous torturous cycle
From which she hasn’t risen.
Swirling and thrashing
In circular motions,
Part of her must like
Being breathless in the ocean.
Yet there’s a small part
On the left side of her brain
That hates this **** cycle,
The suffocation insane.
But she doesn’t control movement
And barely steers thoughts,
So here she goes again,
Busting down doors that should remain locked.
She’s scared to read new stories
With endings untold,
When all familiar tales
End predictably bitter and cold.
There’s bite to the freeze, though,
And pleasure in pain.
Echoes fill her mind’s chamber:
“Free us from these chains.”
No, she doesn’t need saving,
She’s working out the clues.
You say she’s isolating,
But it’s what she has to do.
So very easily distracted,
Hypnotized by honeyed words,
She falls in love so quickly,
Abandoning her puzzled curse.
And when it surely fizzles out,
She’s back here at square one,
A couple days of crashing out,
Erasing all the work she’s done.
Jul 21, 2025
Jul 21, 2025 at 12:04 PM UTC
In the garden where dreams once bloomed
Silent shadows of hope are tombed
Fractured petals drift in the breeze
Whispers of what could have been with ease
Each choice a step on a winding road
Laden with burdens, a heavy load
The laughter once bright now tinged with doubt
As echoes of plans unravel, fade out
A painter's brush, once bold and free
Now hesitates where colors disagree
A canvas flaws with streaks of gray
Reflects the heart, led astray
In the dance of days, we stumble and sway
Navigating the ruins of dreams gone astray
With every misstep, a lesson unfolds
In the carpet woven with threads of gold
Yet in failures clutch, we learn to arise
Through broken paths, we grow wise
For in each setback, a spark ignites
In the darkest of nights we reclaim our light
So raise a glass to the roads untraveled
To the hopes once cherished, now unraveled
For life's failures are chapters, not the end
In the grand story, they help us amend
Embrace the flaws, the bends and breaks
In the ashes of sorrow, resilience awakes
With every setback, let courage ignite
For the heart still beats and the dawn brings new light
Oct 7, 2024
Oct 7, 2024 at 5:55 AM UTC
Going forward
Every day
Seeing in frequencies
And
Hearing in color
Reminds me
Sometimes
It's ok to get there
In reverse
Oct 18, 2022
Oct 18, 2022 at 11:11 AM UTC
with rain kissed plumage
cold in the moonlit expanse
over the evergreens i see below
- - -
i am free
as far as these shackles
will let me be
Nov 30, 2020
Nov 30, 2020 at 2:36 PM UTC
I suppose it's alright if you don't reciprocate.
I am deeply familiar with the inner workings of love and hate.
More than you think, I understand your position.
Is one I've been in, and don't find myself missing.
Just know I'll be there for you.
I'll know when and when not to care for you.
When to share with you.
And if you leave.. I might despair... I'll miss you.
However, don't let my pursuit of happiness derail yours.
Nor should I change your details or more.
I guess my path is to help create your happiness.
Even if I'm not in that, it's none the less.
All I ask is that you consider.
I've grown around all breeds.
When I see one, I know an elixer.
I might not be yours, however, that doesn't mean YOU don't fulfill MY needs.
I'm sorry for any pain or conflict.
I'm sorry that I'm not gone yet.
I'm sorry that I must fulfill my promise.
I am NOT sorry for how I feel.
This is real, unfiltered and unfettered.
Perhaps this way is really better.
I don't expect I or you to change.
Please know, I Am NOT just another page.
Nor another paragraph.
And perhaps I'm being brash...
I don't think so.
I'd ask for chapters or a novel written by your pencil.
And maybe I'm drunk.
Possibly I'm dumb.
Certainly I'm numb.
But That's why I can't ignore this feeling I call love.
**** it. I am dumb.
Probably means what I feel is wrong.
I must be just like the others, shuffling along.
Wanting something that I wish was mine but wasn't all along.
I mustn't know your true needs and wants.
Otherwise I wouldn't feel this incessant need to talk.
I want to delve deeper, trust me I do care.
I don't trust people ***** nilly, just here and there.
Maybe I don't know what I need.
Possibly you don't either.
But you're the only one whose got me writing poetry.
So I will die in this battle, because I am a true fighter.
I see the marks on your arm, on your body.
I have them too... by another name, on my soul.
You aren't nobody.
I want you to know.
For me loyalty and trust are king.
You should know, that's why I haven't made a scene.
I have too much respect, even if sometimes it seems unseen.
Truly, I am sorry... I do believe.
Like a true scorpio... Complicated, that's what I am.
I don't expect, or necessarily want you to understand.
If I believe you, you should me.
I'll be those singular tracks in the sand.
Listen, dudette... I know you prefer that.
I wouldn't do that...
That being: whatever... whomever hurt you.
I only want to learn from you.
So please... Get your **** together.
Quit ******* around.
Stay in my head.
Because I enjoy having you around.
Is it selfish of me to ask this?
Maybe not theoretically, possibly in practice.
If you're still unsure to whom I'm bleeding my heart out with all this talking...
All you'll have to do is count the number of quatrains... Truly this is what I mean... even if you're only...
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 8:13 PM UTC
In the last night I lie awake
I won't question my life’s wake
I'll leave my heart's garden a few less weeds to rake.
I'll try to plant a few flowers,
Replace ones that died in my dark hours,
Sprinkle some seed and grow a few trees
Amidst the fresh wet grass dancing in early April’s breeze.
I hope the scene is serene providing shade from the sun
For my son.
I told that man he could have the world
He may not be in this world but I feel like he’ll be my world
Lately in my world I’ve been a bit otherworldly
On the moon pondering, are these thoughts just coming too early?
What if I have so many years still in me to live,
Filled with so much good will still left in me to give?
My prodigal son could come to fruition
Or a daughter, too smart, scholarships to axe the tuition
Someone a vivid image of all I wanted to be
A recurring dream of what my younger self said I would be.
It feels like I blacked out for several years without shame
I parted ways with so many people I couldn’t list names
And raised by certain people that I’d place claims
Of abandonment treating my childhood like a game
Or a waged war between battling armies
I swear to god my offspring would never feel this raceless apartheid
That it felt like sometimes, nothing seemed to be worse
Than growing up stuck wondering if your gifts are a curse.
I wish someday I either guide myself or my child
Into the warm light brought upon by hope and a smile
Cast upon them by my potential and graceful reconcile...
I’m one with my actions; past, present and future
Knowing regret is simply just a useless venture
So all I can do is be good for now and teach to be better later
While I try to shun the demons of my past that cater
What I insisted I would be—its never in doubt.
Either make a difference myself or bestow it on someone else
So they could end my journey if I fail,
Conduct my train of thoughts, turn them to actions that I derailed.
I’m stuck in accepted limbo unsure of what I can accomplish
Leo DiCaprio incepted spinning a thimble in anguish
To see if someday I’ll dive through a clouded finish line
Million feet up with my thoughts of how it worked out in due time
If I see or create the beautiful soul that I wanted to be
If I’ve given all I can to someone else to be a better me
There’s nothing left for me to give, nothing more you can take
In the last night I lie awake.
Sep 7, 2017
Sep 7, 2017 at 1:44 AM UTC
The
'I' ~ 'we' ~ 'two' ~ 'three'
That can be told.
– Is not the
"Me" ~ "Us" ~ 'dichotomy'
… of threefold myth-informed souls
living the 9 + 2 = 5
tragedy.
May 22, 2017
May 22, 2017 at 3:48 AM UTC