#selfsupport - Hello Poetry

Everyday, without fail, I'd find myself in this space, At the end of the living room. Just big enough for one of me To lie sideways, and another me To sit with his back to the railing, And his feet right up against the doors. I'd find myself taking a nap there, On afternoons that render My cozy bed and blanket suffocating, And even if sleep kept itself At an arm's length away, The warmth of the sun at its height Made me think less of how It's not just sleep that put a distance Between itself and me. Every now and then, I'd find myself curled up, On the aging mattress lying there On the floor, left behind by somebody. Sometimes, I have my phone with me, As I keep looking away from matters That are right up in my face. There are less fortunate days, When my phone's a few feet away, And the space between it and I Is home to all my baggage That's begun to rot and smell over the years. Between the time I had my last meal, And when the day has no more surprises to reveal, I'd find myself propped up there. Some nights, I'd sit and strum An off-key guitar that's missing a string, Taking breaks to light a cig or two. It could be the nicotine, it could be my delusions, But sometimes I feel I've become Just a little better, Though I know that's just my way Of reminding oneself, That things hopefully get better over time. This little area has seen a fair bit Of burnt butts and paper planes, Of drunk delirium and sober concerns, Of an abundance of persons, And the lack of it all - It's the balcony, it couldn't be A space of my own, you know? Even so, in the wee hours Where insomnia flirts with dissociation, When my 'everyone' exists but in person, And I crave for a shoulder to rest on, This place saves me. Not quite in the heroic sense Of culling dragons and scaling towers, But, in a simpler twisted way, Wrapping some vines around my ankles, To keep me from seeing what's over the edge, Yet letting me know, in it's own way, That I'm probably not alone.

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Apr 14, 2025

Apr 14, 2025 at 7:06 AM UTC

mxfian

An Ode to My Balcony

Everyday, without fail, I'd find myself in this space, At the end of the living room. Just big enough for one of me To lie sideways, and another me To sit with his back to the railing, And his feet right up against the doors. I'd find myself taking a nap there, On afternoons that render My cozy bed and blanket suffocating, And even if sleep kept itself At an arm's length away, The warmth of the sun at its height Made me think less of how It's not just sleep that put a distance Between itself and me. Every now and then, I'd find myself curled up, On the aging mattress lying there On the floor, left behind by somebody. Sometimes, I have my phone with me, As I keep looking away from matters That are right up in my face. There are less fortunate days, When my phone's a few feet away, And the space between it and I Is home to all my baggage That's begun to rot and smell over the years. Between the time I had my last meal, And when the day has no more surprises to reveal, I'd find myself propped up there. Some nights, I'd sit and strum An off-key guitar that's missing a string, Taking breaks to light a cig or two. It could be the nicotine, it could be my delusions, But sometimes I feel I've become Just a little better, Though I know that's just my way Of reminding oneself, That things hopefully get better over time. This little area has seen a fair bit Of burnt butts and paper planes, Of drunk delirium and sober concerns, Of an abundance of persons, And the lack of it all - It's the balcony, it couldn't be A space of my own, you know? Even so, in the wee hours Where insomnia flirts with dissociation, When my 'everyone' exists but in person, And I crave for a shoulder to rest on, This place saves me. Not quite in the heroic sense Of culling dragons and scaling towers, But, in a simpler twisted way, Wrapping some vines around my ankles, To keep me from seeing what's over the edge, Yet letting me know, in it's own way, That I'm probably not alone.

59

Snap back to reality, Snapping out of it Breath in Breath out You're not alone with it Let's conquer Let's wake up Let's become Present again, I know we're capable, I will support you till the very end. I love you.

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Mar 28, 2025

Mar 28, 2025 at 8:24 PM UTC

silvervi

Snapback to reality

Snap back to reality, Snapping out of it Breath in Breath out You're not alone with it Let's conquer Let's wake up Let's become Present again, I know we're capable, I will support you till the very end. I love you.

12

We are worthy. We are capable. We are loved. Especially when we're sick and tired or when we feel like laying in bed all day. Or when we actually do nothing the whole day. I want to remind us that this doesn't mean we're not productive, not capable or not worthy. We're still as worthy as before, we're still as loved as before. It's just that our bodies and minds need to rest. We actually need to rest regularly, but sometimes we forget that. Now that I am sick I realized that and it's a relief to be there for myself although I feel so unproductive. I am loved. And you are, too. No matter what you're doing or not doing.

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Feb 21, 2025

Feb 21, 2025 at 1:14 PM UTC

silvervi

Reminder #10

We are worthy. We are capable. We are loved. Especially when we're sick and tired or when we feel like laying in bed all day. Or when we actually do nothing the whole day. I want to remind us that this doesn't mean we're not productive, not capable or not worthy. We're still as worthy as before, we're still as loved as before. It's just that our bodies and minds need to rest. We actually need to rest regularly, but sometimes we forget that. Now that I am sick I realized that and it's a relief to be there for myself although I feel so unproductive. I am loved. And you are, too. No matter what you're doing or not doing.

5

Trying to look in one direction, It's hard to navigate my own transition. Many times, I see myself like no other, could I be your sister or your brother? So, then why should I even bother? My feelings about myself appear difficult for others to comprehend as this has become my own rollercoaster to the sweet, bitter end. It is not only a mindset of my own personal avenues that I must navigate but they are, also, my own internal processes to which I contemplate and separate. The push pull of my internal devices appears harmful at times. Feelings of not being happy, called confused, or it's a just phase are word salad moments committing a series of crimes. I know these interpretations that live inside of me, and I know that the choices that I make can either set me free or keep me locked up forever. Ying-yang in every mindful corner of the room. I heard a saying the other day that said, "Broken crayons still color". First, I was at odds with this. Because was I really broken? Was my crayon wrapper torn off? Am I being labeled these things from distant voices? These become unreliable truths made up in feeble minds. Not understanding the differences among us all. It is not creating comfortable realities for us to travel though. Their choices will define them and my choices will define me. Do I struggle at times? For the most part, yes!! But you know something. I am ok with that. I am ok making my own choices, and I am ok being the person I want to be. That is something that cannot be taken away. Any transition in life can come with its own set of difficulties. How we navigate them will be the determining factors of our success in all that we do.

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Oct 24, 2024

Oct 24, 2024 at 2:33 PM UTC

silent-screams

Transition

Trying to look in one direction, It's hard to navigate my own transition. Many times, I see myself like no other, could I be your sister or your brother? So, then why should I even bother? My feelings about myself appear difficult for others to comprehend as this has become my own rollercoaster to the sweet, bitter end. It is not only a mindset of my own personal avenues that I must navigate but they are, also, my own internal processes to which I contemplate and separate. The push pull of my internal devices appears harmful at times. Feelings of not being happy, called confused, or it's a just phase are word salad moments committing a series of crimes. I know these interpretations that live inside of me, and I know that the choices that I make can either set me free or keep me locked up forever. Ying-yang in every mindful corner of the room. I heard a saying the other day that said, "Broken crayons still color". First, I was at odds with this. Because was I really broken? Was my crayon wrapper torn off? Am I being labeled these things from distant voices? These become unreliable truths made up in feeble minds. Not understanding the differences among us all. It is not creating comfortable realities for us to travel though. Their choices will define them and my choices will define me. Do I struggle at times? For the most part, yes!! But you know something. I am ok with that. I am ok making my own choices, and I am ok being the person I want to be. That is something that cannot be taken away. Any transition in life can come with its own set of difficulties. How we navigate them will be the determining factors of our success in all that we do.

14

Hah As I am understanding myself more and more I am watching My suffering, Wanting to grasp its core. Tons of shame and of blame. My little self somewhere underneath Trying to breath. Every day when it's time to meditate I allow my pain to rise. Every time I'm hoping to arrive At some deep new revelation. But it looks as though There is no final destination. Looking at how I'm looking at myself. Am I wasting my time? There's nothing to see Apart from Me and _Me_ and Me. Self-loathing, then holding myself close. Because I remember to breath and to pause. Because I remember about compassion. But still, this process is much work. I wish things were easier, lighter, I wish I'd knew what I want to fight for, I wish I'd understood my relationships better, I wish I wouldn't blame myself for everything including weather... I wish. I wish. I wish. The hardest part is to let go, Whatever that means. It's as unsatisfying As this poem's ending.

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Oct 1, 2024

Oct 1, 2024 at 6:41 PM UTC

silvervi

Self-observation

Hah As I am understanding myself more and more I am watching My suffering, Wanting to grasp its core. Tons of shame and of blame. My little self somewhere underneath Trying to breath. Every day when it's time to meditate I allow my pain to rise. Every time I'm hoping to arrive At some deep new revelation. But it looks as though There is no final destination. Looking at how I'm looking at myself. Am I wasting my time? There's nothing to see Apart from Me and _Me_ and Me. Self-loathing, then holding myself close. Because I remember to breath and to pause. Because I remember about compassion. But still, this process is much work. I wish things were easier, lighter, I wish I'd knew what I want to fight for, I wish I'd understood my relationships better, I wish I wouldn't blame myself for everything including weather... I wish. I wish. I wish. The hardest part is to let go, Whatever that means. It's as unsatisfying As this poem's ending.

31

I am starting to arrive At MYSELF, Finally tasting The fruits Of self care and Self-help. That supportive voice I started to hear Took years of work To appear. Now I am blessed With warmth in my chest, It's all I ever needed And some rest.

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Sep 30, 2024

Sep 30, 2024 at 5:08 AM UTC

silvervi

I have arrived.

I am starting to arrive At MYSELF, Finally tasting The fruits Of self care and Self-help. That supportive voice I started to hear Took years of work To appear. Now I am blessed With warmth in my chest, It's all I ever needed And some rest.

14

My body is safe. It is safe to relax.

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Sep 16, 2024

Sep 16, 2024 at 12:29 PM UTC

silvervi

Affirmation # 2

My body is safe. It is safe to relax.

1

I am here. It's ok, breath. I love you. I know, it's difficult sometimes. We fall into patterns of wanting to make everyone around us happy. But ourselves. We sometimes need time to see and realize this. To recognize what is happening. We are learning. It's good you show yourself as you are. I have your back. You don't need to control anything or anyone. Just be and relax. Just be yourself. You are safe here. I am always here for you.

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Sep 16, 2024

Sep 16, 2024 at 12:22 PM UTC

silvervi

Soothing words to myself

I am here. It's ok, breath. I love you. I know, it's difficult sometimes. We fall into patterns of wanting to make everyone around us happy. But ourselves. We sometimes need time to see and realize this. To recognize what is happening. We are learning. It's good you show yourself as you are. I have your back. You don't need to control anything or anyone. Just be and relax. Just be yourself. You are safe here. I am always here for you.

15

Es wird nicht leichter Und ich mach weiter Bis der morgen Weniger schwer ist Bis mein Herz wieder Atmen kann. Bis ich wieder sagen kann: Ich liebe mich. Bis ich dankbar sein kann Für die Luft. Bis ich frei bin. Bis ich ich bin. Bis ich ich bin und Mich nicht allein fühle. Bis dahin werde ich Weitermachen Noch mehr lachen Krach und Witze machen Zeit allein genießen. Auch wenn der Tag beschissen ist. Ich geb nicht auf, Wenn's am schwersten ist. Niemand kennt mich so wie ich. Niemand sieht meine Schmerzen ganz. Ich bin deshalb für mich verantwortlich. Ich werde mich nicht aufgeben, niemals. Mit Schmerzen und Misstrauen schreib ich das. Ich bin bereit mehr Gas zu geben. Für mich und für ein schönes leichtes Leben. Ohne traumatische Erinnerungen eben. Ohne inadequate Reaktionen. Mit lächeln und dem Wissen in mei'm Herz, Dass jede einzelne Minute wert es war, Mich zu dem Augenblick zu führen Durch den Schmerz.

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Dec 14, 2023

Dec 14, 2023 at 5:00 AM UTC

silvervi

Durch den Schmerz

Es wird nicht leichter Und ich mach weiter Bis der morgen Weniger schwer ist Bis mein Herz wieder Atmen kann. Bis ich wieder sagen kann: Ich liebe mich. Bis ich dankbar sein kann Für die Luft. Bis ich frei bin. Bis ich ich bin. Bis ich ich bin und Mich nicht allein fühle. Bis dahin werde ich Weitermachen Noch mehr lachen Krach und Witze machen Zeit allein genießen. Auch wenn der Tag beschissen ist. Ich geb nicht auf, Wenn's am schwersten ist. Niemand kennt mich so wie ich. Niemand sieht meine Schmerzen ganz. Ich bin deshalb für mich verantwortlich. Ich werde mich nicht aufgeben, niemals. Mit Schmerzen und Misstrauen schreib ich das. Ich bin bereit mehr Gas zu geben. Für mich und für ein schönes leichtes Leben. Ohne traumatische Erinnerungen eben. Ohne inadequate Reaktionen. Mit lächeln und dem Wissen in mei'm Herz, Dass jede einzelne Minute wert es war, Mich zu dem Augenblick zu führen Durch den Schmerz.

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