#selfstruggle
Under the vaulted sky
The grass below, my soul, and I
For no one knows the inner workings there
My heart exposed, laid bare
How oft they mock and stare
Yet know not what they see
For only I truly understand what is me
And the painted vail beyond my gaze
The sun set high in morning blaze
Soak my soul with warming rays
Humbled now and always
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017 at 12:43 PM UTC
She must be my purest truth, a trickery of light. The part of me that has to stand, screaming silence into the night.
I prefer my silhouette, as my reflection is a disguise. Something waiting to spill out, darkness shaded through my eyes.
She walks with me and whispers doubt, this extension of my being. Never having to pay much mind, to the heartache I keep leaving.
Keeping all my secrets, she mimic's every move I make. Struggling with my sanity, and how my minds about to break.
I am light while she is dark, this Shadow next to me. Merging with my identity, becoming this contradiction that you see.
May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015 at 9:22 PM UTC
I trudge through this swamp of broken dreams
Weighed down by chains and anchors of haunted memories
I look for my reflection but get nothing but rejection
I search hopelessly in the muddy waters of visions unseen
I'm so terrified, I can never win in life
Dragging me down, drowning me out
No one can hear me plead.
Drowning in this tar pit of the past untold
Inhaling toxic fumes, exhaling secretes, unfold
Struggling to escape the dripping jaws of death
As I stare into the abyss unknown.
I'm so terrified, I can never win in life
Dragging me down, drowning me out
No one can hear me plead.
I try to escape
But life's hooks are dug into me
So deeply
They drag me away
I will never see the light of day
Never, ever again.
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 9:53 AM UTC
I found the best piece of me
Alone, Shivering in the dark
(Three centimeters tall)
Hunched over, on all fours
Eating it's heart...
It's face was vacant
With dead eyes that flared like sparks
A silent tongue, so blatant
(I'll hear your confessions)
Body, skin and bones, covered in scars
It seemed somewhat impatient
For I just stood there in awe
Inept and perplexed
I stumble over, kneel down
And surrender, to it's impious words
(I forgive you)
Who will slay this thing?
Who will play the butcher?
And end my suffering?
(No)
You will not feast on me today
I will not be your backwards slave
(I won't, I won't)
This is not a threat
For I, I ****** the minds of the masses with the fingers of liberty
I've screamed for all the women I've never been but hoped I would be
I can't change, I can not change
Oh, how I've tried a million times
How I've endeavored to rise above my
Imperfections
Struggling, twisting myself within the vine
Of rejections
I'm not perfect, I'm not a beauty queen
I'm just me...I'm just me...
I'm proud of who I am
I am proud of me
I Just want someone who understands
( We're all prisoners here)
I just want someone who will listen
(All shapes and sizes)
To witness these dull eyes of mine glisten
(Forever chasing the sun)
To hear what I have to say
To tell me it's okay
To cry...
(If god is my father then I am an orphan)
I am afraid
To show my true feelings
(I can hear you judging me)
They're laughing at me
They wont go away
My reflection staring back
Like shattered pieces.
Dec 25, 2014
Dec 25, 2014 at 3:06 PM UTC